To Love and be Loved
by ScarletCougar
Summary: Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after. Some chapters are rated MA and will say so in the starting A/N.
1. While You Were Out: Part 1

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – "To Love and Be Loved" is an excellent book by Sam Keen about the subject of love and loving. It inspired this fic as did the ship of Kurogane Youou and Fai Yuui de Fluorite. I own neither but am empassioned by both._

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

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_**Chapter 1 A – While You Were Out**_

The clone of Shyaoron vanished through a portal as Kurogane's long leg took the stairs four at a time to the bottom of what was a water reservoir. The true Shyaoron backed away, knowing he was a stranger to them all with a familiar face, one that just betrayed them. A beaten and bleeding mage lay sprawled, mostly unconscious, on the ground. His now ripped out eye bore just a bleeding socket. He coughed, spitting some blood.

Kurogane lifted the sweet form of Sakura into Shyaoron's arms. A firm glare that one step out of line would mean his death, served as his only warning. Shyaoron took the young unconscious girl up into the building, following in the wake of the residents, a wary and nervous Mokona now on his shoulder.

Kurogane carefully turned the blond mage over and checked for a pulse, expecting none. It was faint. He gathered the foolish mage into his arms and lifted. He carried Fai up, up into the building and into a room where the rest of his group gathered. This world's inhabitants knew so little of healing that Kurogane inwardly worried behind his dark stoic mask. Didn't he just have a conversation with the tall blond mage about caring for people? Did no one see how much he too cared? Everyone he cared about always left him, died, were killed, taken… somehow gone. Even now. The Shyaoron he had taken on like a younger brother or apprentice in the Way of the Sword, lost the essence of his heart and vanished from existence. The delicate flower of a girl lay faded in a bed nearby, possibly withering, likely will without her true Shyaoron. And now Fai, the mystery he has been struggling to know since they met, since he was first forbiddenly captivated, lay bleeding in his arms and barely breathed.

No one heard when he murmured into the bloody-sticky blond hair, "Idiot… why did you do that? You aren't supposed to throw your life away. Fai… Fai… please… don't leave me too."

Familiar faces, Sakura knew them as her brother and his mage. They were in most worlds they arrived in. And they were always together. They served as rudimentary healers here. One checking on Sakura and the other bandaging the immediate leaking empty eye socket of Fai. Kurogane refused to let Fai out of his arms just yet. Only when they bandaged Fai's other wounds did he release Fai to a bed. He remained sitting on the bedside though. The darker haired healer, if he could be called that, shook his head sadly. There was nothing more he could do. The message was clear. Fai was not going to make it.

His jaw clenched tight to maintain his composure as his heart hurt like it was being stabbed again and again. He moved the blond hair from Fai's face, exposing the bandages that were already starting to dot red as blood seeped through. He swallowed and adjusted his seating so he could hold the mage once more in his arms.

"L-let… let me… go… I want to… die…" The words slurred weakly from Fai's mouth. "If I die… the magic he stole from me will too. If I live, he will grow strong… dangerous. I'm sorry."

"NO! If you really want to die, then I will kill you myself! If you die now," Kurogane searched for something he knew the mage cared about, searched because he doubted that that thing was him. "If you die, Sakura will be very sad and miss you."

Relief came with the dimensional witch. Kurogane had a wish. That wish intensified as Fai's head rolled with his unconsciousness. He was dying. Kurogane wished for him to live. When the witch informed him that it was a wish she could not grant, he wanted to howl his hatred. But she made a hopeful suggestion. "Warrior, wish for the water for this world since I cannot grant the vampires any wishes. You will pay their price. And in turn, they can grant your wish." Kurogane looked at them with his ruby eyes.

He did not need to plead. They saw what few would understand. Kamui stepped forward, not wanting this to be his twin brother's potential second mistake. "I will grant your wish. I can make him a vampire. He will heal, quicker than normal. Doesn't mean he is invincible or immortal. He will age, slower than other humans. But he will live."

"Do it," commanded Kurogane, not caring what price he had to pay for Fai's life.

The witch stopped them, "The price. Warrior, you will pay the price. Since a vampire must live off of blood and would drink from the masses around him, you will become his bait. You will become the only blood he can drink. He will live only because you do. You will become responsible for what you ask to be created. If he is able to get back all his magic, the missing eye, then you will both be free of this bond. Do you accept this price? To be forever chained to him?"

"I accept." He accepted without ever really truly understanding the consequences both good and bad of this, without really understanding what he gained (longer life and the ability to produce blood more swiftly than other humans) or the mixing of souls drinking could cause. "Whatever his past, he came to the witch for help. I trust him."

Shyaoron handed a black sash he wore to Kurogane, to later wrap Fai's missing eye.

So Subaru ushered everyone out while Kamui cut Kurogane's right arm with a vampiric talon. "No drinking from this arm, or it will hurt." He then cut his own wrist and allowed a few drops of blood to drop upon the cut he gave Kurgane. "Let the blood mix and be swallowed by him." The dark warrior did as instructed. Blood dropped upon Fai's lips, chin and into his mouth. His face twitched as more drops fell into his mouth and he swallowed by instinct. Kamui wrapped a quick bandage over Kurogane's wrist. "Now he will change. You will need to hold him down." He backed away to supervise the transformation.

Fai swallowed a few more time. His heart pounded hard and desperate. The strange blood burned down his throat and lit fires through his whole body. He writhed, contorting in agony. He arched in Kurogane's arms and his eye flew open. The blue winked out for a dark amber as the pupil slitted narrow as a cats in sudden daylight. He screamed. He screamed and writhed more. Kurogane struggled to hold him, keep him from accidentally hurting himself. Now and then murmuring between the screams, "I got you. Fai. I'm here. I got you."

Finally after maybe a horror filled twenty minutes, Fai sank to the ground in Kurgane's embrace. The amber eye resumed its normal sky blue before rolling up as Fai passed out. "It is done. He will live," Kamui declared as he opened the door. "Let him rest for now. He will need to drink every few days, unless he chooses to die by not drinking."

More gently than anyone would have expected him to be, Kurogane tucked Fai into the bed and wrapped anew the now scarring eye socket. Trouble brewed outside and the issue of the water for the reservoir was the next critical item on his agenda. "I still have much to ask him about, but it will have to wait."

Water and feather and a quest. Kurogane had to wait as all these happened. He waited, watching Fai. He cleaned him up, and dressed him in sturdy pants and a black turtle neck shirt that was given to him. He didn't bother to ask for a change of shirt for himself. His remained stained in Fai's blood.

An amber slit-pupil eye blinked a couple times as Fai awakened, mostly healed. Kurogane nearly jumped. He nearly jumped again when Fai spoke to him with his usual false smile, "Good morning, Kurogane." The blond sat up, testing his stability.

"Don't move," ordered Kurogane. He wasn't sure what kind of person actually awoke. The Fai he knew would never have called him by his full name. Fai always used annoying short versions he made up. This was a more serious Fai, with less masks. He didn't know how to deal with this new Fai as he briefly searched the amber eye, missing its blue hue, wondering if Fai did die and a monster instead was reborn. The smile, though, that was Fai's. To avoid giving awake how much he actually cared about Fai, he tossed him a blanket and left the room.

The dimensional witch appeared with Mokona's help. She wanted to speak to Fai about Kurogane. Fai explained how he said good morning and called him by his full name. He confessed how much fun it was to see him be all flustered by the nicknames. He confessed that he had never called anyone by little nicknames. His slightly shy smile belied his affection for the warrior, an affection he kept buried for the warrior's own protection. "He revived me when I did not wish it. For this I cannot forgive him. If I do, we'll just become close again." He wanted to protect Kurogane from the danger he was and the danger he could become. It was problematic caring for all these people he had been traveling with. Yet, deep down, he could not help it. He resented that he had to stay and rest while Sakura risked her life for part of a payment, for his own life. Deep down, he desperately wanted to care for them. He wanted them to care for him too, to love him. To love… and be loved. His only secret wish before ever he does die.

Calm, his blue seeped like water back into his eye, although sadness lay in its depths more clearly now without the usual shroud of mirth. When Sakura returned, injured, Fai ran to her. Her honest relief that she returned to him to find him alive, yanked his heart strings. She cared about him. He almost wept there, but for her… for her he smiled. The only form of healing magic that he knew he could actually perform.

To search on for Sakura's feathers, her memories. To search on for the other Shyaoron and Fai's missing magical eye. They agreed to travel together again.

For love… the love they had, the love they lost, and the love they hoped to find.


	2. While You Were Out: Part 2

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

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_**Chapter 1 B – While You Were Out**_

To search on for Sakura's feathers, her memories. To search on for the other Shyaoron and Fai's missing magical eye. They agreed to travel together again. For love… the love they had, the love they lost, and the love they hoped to find.

They jumped now eight worlds searching. At first Fai tried not to drink blood from Kurogane. The resistance made him shaky, disoriented, weak. It frightened Sakura watching him. Kurogane cornered him in a room in the hotel they stayed at and cut his own wrist, allowing the blood to slowly drip through his fingers. Fai's blue eye instantly flicked amber with a feline slit at the scent. "Drink, or I will simply stand here and let it drip." He had said so little since Fai and he disagreed about the vampirism.

He watched Fai's inner battle, then surrender. "For Sakura," Fai murmured trying to stick to his decision to not forgive Kurogane. He sank to one knee, taking the bloody wrist in both hands. The fresh scent made him desperate, he lapped up the warm tangy liquid, then sank in his fangs and drank.

Kurogane remained still, back against the wall not even watching. He too surrendered to Fai's need. When done, Fai licked the wound and it somewhat healed over. Kurogane wrapped it with a cloth and left the room to check on the kids. Left alone, Fai hugged his arms around himself. Their whole group felt fractured now. There were few smiles to cheer people and give them hope. Few from Sakura and few from Fai. Fai just could not muster the false masks of smiling too often.

The hours crawled by and Fai gave in to trying to sleep. Over the last few jumps, his nightmares had returned as bad as they were when he first left his home of Celes. Rejuvenated by the fresh blood in his system, Fai was not really tired, but grateful. There won't be dreams tonight. He closed his eyes to simply rest without really sleeping.

The door opened and closed. Fai almost opened his eye, but the soft and sure footfalls were familiar. Kurogane. Fai pretended to out, out asleep. He listened to the warrior approach the bed and stare down at him. Then he felt two fingers carefully and gently move his blond strands from his face. He heard Kurogane whisper, "I'm... sorry…"

As Kurogane turned to leave, Fai had to open his eye. The room was dark. The street lamp cast poor light, but it was enough for a vampire's keen heightened senses to see by. He caught a look of a glistening thin damp streak down Kurogane's cheek, marring the stoic face a second before the tall warrior was fully turned from view. Fai felt a clenching in his chest and took in a breath to ask Kurogane what was wrong, to reach a hand out to maybe stop him from leaving. The door opened and closed. Kurogane was gone, never saw the outstretched arm of the mage. "Kuro?" The mages quiet call was never heard.

Fai sat up. He sighed and dropped back into the bed. Sleep came in bits between the nightmares. Some nightmares were peppered with the pain of becoming a vampire and the confusion of losing his eye. Others, the usual ones, involved his King Ashura. Walking through silent halls littered with the dead. Fighting the limiting spell of the tattoo upon his back to bind Ashura into sleep. The echoes of his king's threats ringing in his ears. Or the occasional quiet murmur of Ashura's guiding world in his ear, forcing in trained repetition, a position of technique. Fai sat bolt up again, sweating.

He was alone in this dark room. It had happened so rarely that they each had their own rooms. Fai decidedly disliked this. There would be no more sleep tonight with thoughts of Ashura still running through his mind. He worried what insane being the clone Shyaoron was becoming with magic progressively growing and eventually getting out of control. Ashura had to be contained for that reason. It was a fate of all the royals, though usually that would be death. Fai never wanted to become that. He knew he was royal with that fate as a possibility, which is why he rarely used his magic. But as an outcast, he owed his life to Ashura.

Fai shook his head to try to clear it. He had lived much much longer than Kurogane. He had learned a great many things, though mostly of magic and social interactions. He'd become a master at blending in, lying to slip into a city or culture so he could seek things out and deal with rising problems. His freedom had a price when Ashura claimed him. He learned that price when he was older, old enough to be of service in private ways to his king. A shudder jumped down Fai's spine and he stood. He knew how to be a lover, and it was problematic when it came time to deal with his king. He could not do what he needed to. He could not kill his king. He loved his king, even if there was sex and manipulation.

Thankfully, they had only encountered an Ashura once in all the jumps they made over the last year or so since meeting. And that king was deeply focused on someone else. He barely had memories of that dream moon battles. He recalled Kurogane there, lifting him from the high horse. They were warriors together, he the archer in the background and Kurogane his warrior guard. And like many warrior partners in long campaigns, there was the implication that they were lovers.

That is where Fai's thoughts about Kurogane got muddled. He walked out of the room on silent bare feet and down the hall to peak into each room. Shyaoron dosed in the hallway on duty and rose to Fai's slight touch to the shoulder. Fai gave him a cheery smile to encourage him to stay up and watchful. _Poor kid. This Shyaoron was not used to being up long hours on watch. I commend him just the same for his devotion to the princess, though. _Fai opened the door beside Shyaoron and entered the girl's room.

Princess Sakura curled on her bed fast asleep. Even in sleep, she seemed a little sad. Actually, especially in sleep, you could see she was sad. She missed her Shyaoron. Fai tried as best he could to be as she remembered him to be, to keep at least one bond in their group stable and strong. He then left her room to check on the last member of their group.

He almost expected Kurogane's room to either be empty or locked. It was neither. The tall warrior had given up sleeping on the bed and moved all the blankets to the floor. Fai always wondered why Kurogane preferred sleeping on the floor. He suspected because the beds were never quite long enough and the man's tanned feet would stick off the end.

While Kurogane was out asleep, Fai climbed into his bed and watched from the edge, the slow rise and fall of his former friend's chest. He wondered if things had not happened as they did if they might have become lovers. Their friendship had grown so strong. They had cared so much. There were a variety of small indications that maybe, just maybe, Kurogane might like men and not women. He just could never be sure, and now never would.

Eight world jumps and Fai's determination to not forgive Kurogane was faltering. He almost wanted to forgive the man, just to regain that bond and stability of the group. Maybe, also, because he missed him being close. Were they really close?

A low grumble and grunt came from the black-haired man. Fai reached down and very slowly, so as not to wake him) pressed his hand to Kurogane's back. Sleep stole him soon after, even though he had not intended on falling asleep in this room, in this bed. It just felt safer here with familiar sounds and a familiar presence.


	3. Hunted and Unwelcome

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 2 – Hunted & Unwelcome**_

A low grumble and grunt came from the black-haired man. Fai reached down and very slowly, so as not to wake him, pressed his hand to Kurogane's back. Sleep stole him soon after, even though he had not intended on falling asleep in this room, in this bed. It just felt safer here with familiar sounds and a familiar presence.

Kurogane woke early as usual. He had a few good solid hours of sleep. He sat up and stretched, planning on washing and dressing and kicking Shyaoron off to nap some of the morning. He froze mid-stretch to stressed and fitful noises behind him on the bed. He turned around where he was sitting on the floor to see who was in his bed. He already knew, just by the whimpers that it was Fai. So much for fresh blood in Fai's system to ease the nightmares.

Another terrible dream. Kurogane rose and sat on the edge of the bed. Fai gripped the pillow tightly in his hand and squirmed to get his feet free of the blankets. Kurogane put a firm hand on Fai's shoulder and gave him a small shake. "Fai… mage… get up."

A blue eye snapped open, wide with near terror, almost ready to scream. He instantly took in the environment and buried his face in the pillow to recompose. Then he turned and sat up. "Thanks Kuroku. You saved me from a giant cloud trying to eat me. It had ten legs and yellow eyes!"

Kurogane growled and rolled his eyes. "You were in my bed."

"You weren't using it," defended Fai.

"Was something wrong with your own?" Grumbled the warrior as he collected clothing and walked into the bathing room, ignoring whatever answer came.

Fai had to rip his vision away from the cracked open doorway. He slipped out to his own room to likewise change and dress for the day. Again he patted Shyaoron on the shoulder to rouse him as he passed.

Later that day, Mokona declared that he was ready to take them to another world, after apologizing for the third time that he felt no feather and hoped that the next world had one. With all gear packed, and Mokona having magically swallowed it for storage, they were off through the swirling portal.

A flickering streak of blue and red fire caused the portal to jiggle as they traveled. Fai new it for his own magic, his by way of the clone Shyaoron. But he never got a chance to say anything. The world they were dropped into was in horror and war! They fell into the middle of the fighting. Well truth was they were thrown in two directions, landing in different parts of the fighting.

Mokona and Fai and Sakura fell into a clump of battling people near the woods. They beat a hasty retreat into the forest to hide. Fai extending vampiric claws ready to fight if he had to. Mokona spat out a staff that Fai had acquired. That now became his weapon of choice as he defended the princess from harm in their hiding place.

Shyaoron and Kurogane landed in the midst of fighting near some rocky outcrops. The tall warrior reached instinctively for his sword, one that was not there. His eyes widened in brief shock. He yelled for the cream puff to give him his sword. Then he realized there was only the kid with him. Someone yelled angrily, recognizing Shyaoron. The two then knew what had transpired. The other Shyaoron had already been here. This one, because a target now for the people's rage. Kurogane grabbed the kid and thrust him rolling across the ground to a crumbled wall. He then swiveled back, every ounce of him ready for the fight. And fight he did with his kicks and fists. He took as much as he gave. He dodged what he could. Without a weapon of his own, however, he had to internally snarl and beat a retreat behind the wall the moment two side of the fighting collided. He used their brief distraction to crouch.

In his mind he already strategized a route or three. The forest was their best defense. If Fai is with the princess, he would have run with her there. But the forest was across the worst of the fighting. There would be no straight route there, not without his sword. Mokona could not be far, must also be just within those woods. He knew this because he and Shyaoron still understood each other. He pointed to a rocky outcrop, "Hey kid, can you get there?" At Shyaoron's nod, he gave a feral grin, "Good. I'm gonna have some fun. I'll be there soon." He jumped up to be a distraction, at least enough of one for the kid to break in a flat fast run. The flat of a blade to the face brought Kurogane to the ground, but was still not enough to really take him down. His return kick broke bone. Then Kurogane also ran, hating that he was retreating. If only he had his sword.

A fighter on a horse pursued the tall warrior. He had to swallow his pride and dive behind Shyaoron, he wielded his own magical sword. _Great, I'm being defended by the kid._ He hoped no one else from their group could see this. It was insulting enough. Shyaoron fought well, now that he had the time to draw his blade, but there lacked still much skill. He fought on instinct and determination. He fought because he had to. The real difference from the kid Kurogane knew was that this Shyaoron did not remotely flinch at the idea that he might have to kill. This Shyaoron cut down horse and man without a second thought, because he had to for them both to live. Now they each had something they would never tell the others about.

Kurogane pointed to the next rocky outcrop and they bolted again, chased all the way there. Shyaoron dropped to a knee and flung out a spell of flames that drove their pursuers back. They both hid once more. This was going to be the long way to the forest. Running up the steep mountain was out of the question. It wasn't even a possible question if they could not get to the mountain.

A strange sound pulled Kurogane to look over the boulders. There were no fighters. Why did they hang back? The sound accompanies a glimmer in the sky. Kurogane looked up to see a glass bottle with a flaming rag within. He grabbed Shyaoron and threw him then dove out of the way on top of the kid to protect him. Rock and rubble showered painfully upon him, adding to the day's new collection of bruises and strained muscles. He grunted and gritted his teeth. Shyaoron curled in the tiniest ball under him. "Kid, when I say run," he growled, "Run to the mountain. Don't stop. Don't look back."

"Only look ahead," Shyaoron spoke solemly. He understood that Kurogane might be making a sacrifice here for his life so he may continue to protect the princess. "Kurogane, don't die."

Kurogane was shocked that this kid remembered those early words. A wolfish grin flickered for a second on his lips. "I can't die. I need to get home. And…"

"And Fai needs you."

The dark warrior grunted. "Ya… Fai needs me." A second blast brought another painful shower of stone. "Run!"

The kid bolted out from under the warrior. Kurogane reared up from the rubble terrifying the incoming attackers as he joined the fight once more. The second he got a break, he again ran, cowardly as it was to run. He had no weapon still, and he promised not to die, for Fai. Again, he hid behind the flaming sword bearing kid. Again, more bombs flew at them. They ran again, almost at the woods. There was another rocky outcrop, at the edge of their destination. A bomb hit stone close enough to throw them to the ground. A small boulder impacted with Kurogane's stomach. He recoiled and flowed as best he could to absorb the impact. That would hurt a great deal later. There was no time to let it hurt now. They ran one last time for the safety of the trees.

"Kurogane? Are you alright?" asked Shyaoron.

The usual grunt was his answer. "Nothing's broken," Kurogane finally assured the kid. The fighting continued in the fields. Their strange arrival was already forgotten by those fighting due to so much blood and chaos. They moved a little deeper into the woods.

"We need to find the others."

Kurogane almost stated the same thing. A distant calling caught his attention. A shock of blond hair in the woods and the glaring white of wizarding clothes. Kurogane wasn't sure if he was intensely glad to see Fai alive, or furious that the mage hadn't done SOMETHING about his clothing. _He looks like a damned target!_

The sounds of fighting growing closer spurred them all to find shelter and hiding in the deeper part of the woods. Sakura called out that she found a cave. With a little more exploration as night fell, they discovered that they had indeed found a well hidden cave, part of an old abandoned mine, not far from a little stream. Mokona woke long enough to provide them with some of their belongings, sleeping supplies and cooking supplies and some of the food they carried for provisions.

Shyaoron built a fire. In the light, it was clear he had been wounded. The bruised and the cut on his cheek were swollen. Kurogane took a basin to the stream along with their water canteens. Fai followed along, trying to chatter lightly in the tones Kurogane knew were false. He growled at the mage to take the basin back and make sure Shyaoron's wounds were washed. With no healer, they had to keep such things very clean. Infections would kill otherwise.

Fai stood holding the basin of water. His nose had picked up the scent of blood on the warrior. The false grin evaporated to a serious look. "You too. I'll wash your wounds too when you come back." He left no room for Kurgane to protest.

Kurogane wasn't even intending to protest. He just wanted the kid treated first. He passed everyone a canteen of fresh water. "So, when is the meat bun going to get us out of here? Clearly the kid ain't here and nor is there any feather."

Fai sat beside him and waved his hand gesturing at the warrior's torn shirt. "Off… take it off. Mokona needs to rest. We have done lots of short jumps." He gasped slightly at the sight before him as Kurogane removed his stained shirt. "Is anything broken?" He hadn't intended on so much concern creeping into his voice as it did.

"Nah. I'm strong. Takes a lot more to take me down. Was kinda fun, just would have been much better if I only had a sword. This is getting ridiculous not having it if we get split up." He grumped as Fai washed all the scrapes and cuts on Kurogane's back and shoulders and chest. His fingers ghosted over the deep purple spreading across the well-formed abdominal muscles. They rippled and Kurogane hissed a warning. "Still hurts, mage! Wish you would just use your magic to fix it."

Fai turned away. "I can't. Even if I wanted to. I don't know any healing magic."

"Oh right, you learned other… stuff…" Kurogane was especially grouchy when injured and it came it in needling ways. "Like in Koryo, you suggested torture, that kind of magic?" He regretted his words as Fai flinched away from him.

Fai quietly snapped back, "You serve a princess Tomoyo. I am sure you did things just because she told you to." He took a breath and clawed for his false masks to present to the others.

The masks shattered in startlement as a hand firmly grabbed his arm. "I killed. You? You did to." Ruby eyes burned into Fai. "You served that King… Ashura… then trapped him. You know he will break free and kill you. If you want to die so badly, why bother running? Why even try to live? Why inspire others to live or care? Why care at all?"

Fai hated how Kurogane saw too true, saw too deep. He could not answer that stare that bore into his soul. "It's… complicated. Didn't you… don't you love your Tomoyo? Even if you hate and fear her?"

Fai's questions answered more than Kurogane had expected. He released the mage who almost fled. Kurogane thought hard about those questions. Complicated. Love and hate. The mage was wrong. Kurogane did not love Tomoyo, not any more than any subject loved their ruler. He had hated her, but not the kind of hate where he would want to disobey or kill her or do her any sort of harm, especially not entrap her. And he never, not once, ever feared her. But Fai's questions told of the relationship Fai had with his Ashura. A man loved a man. Fai loved, perhaps deeply in some twisted victimized way, loved Ashura, but also hated him and was truly terrified of him. Maybe Fai didn't have enough courage or enough strength to kill this king. Maybe Fai loved him still. Maybe this king used and abused Fai, using sex to confuse the mage into thinking it was love. Maybe it was forced all along. Fai did have some victim-like behaviour. Fai was wrong about Kurogane's relationship with Tomoyo. But Kurogane was quite sure he was right about Fai's relationship with Ashura. And there bloomed a hate he could kill for. If they ever returned to Celes, Kurogane swore that if Fai could not kill this Ashura, he would.

This running into worlds that recognized Shyaoron was problematic and dangerous. It meant they were unwelcome at best, hunted at worst. Before they jumped to the next world, it was Shyaoron who made the strangest suggestion. "I could dress like a girl again."


	4. Flirting Drabbles

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 4 – Flirting Drabbles**_

This running into worlds that recognized Shyaoron was problematic and dangerous. It meant they were unwelcome at best, hunted at worst. Before they jumped to the next world, it was Shyaoron who made the strangest suggestion. "I could dress like a girl again."

The next two worlds were as dangerous as the last. One was in a state of such destruction that that they were far from welcoming. They at least recognized that this Shyaoron was not the same as the last one who seemed to have been the cause of their destruction. The second world's dangers were entirely different and had nothing to do with the other Shyaoron and everything to do with a feather's chaotic effects on wildlife. In this case, all three men (if you counted this Shyaoron as a man and not a kid) had to fend off the deadly wildlife while the princess swam in a pool of water trying to retrieve her feather.

Once the feather was retrieved, the princess collapsed as she sometimes did from a powerful feather memory. They all hid in yet another forest cave, huddled around a fire, licking their wounds. Over the weeks and months, Kurogane had started to recognize signs in Fai that told of the mage's need for blood. Slight disorientation and shaking would give way to great confusion with stomach pains and bad shakes. This would lead eventually to him curled up trying not to moan, fangs protruding from tensely rictus lips, and an eye pin-pricked with a feline slit and shining a desperate gold. The fighting took much out of him. Healing his own wounds took more. They would have to camp here for a little while to recover before jumping to the next world.

Shyaoron sat somber with Sakura's head in his lap. Kurogane tried to rouse Fai and finally pulled him into his lap to try to keep him warm as he fumbled with a small knife and nicked his wrist. Instinct instantly took over at the fresh scent of blood. Fai grappled for a good hold of the wrist. Desperation made the first few bites poorly aimed, causing Kurgane to curse. When Fai finally sunk fangs into the right place and drank, trembling, Kurogane relaxed with his back against the wall and his other arm supporting Fai against his chest. Fai would sleep and heal. They all would.

In the quiet of the following days, they passed the time reminiscing. And just because it bugged Kurgane most and this drew out occasional giggles from Sakura, they reminisced about moments that involved him. Fai preferred chatting than being alone with his own thoughts. Kurogane thought he would never shut up. It bothered Kurogane sometimes how idiotic Fai could be and yet how wise at other times. Now that he knew Fai was already older by maybe a century due to his magic and thus was wise and experienced, Kurogane was more sure than ever that so much of the idiotic behavior was just an act, one of the many layers of lies Fai maintained to hide his true self, as if he was running away from himself.

_Even way back in the beginning of their journey, Fai chattered. It was when they were in this quiet peaceful forest by a lake, a lake that contain a tiny town at the bottom… it was here that Kurogane started to suspect something. When the mage grew quiet as they walked in the woods searching for some sign of civilization, he had felt the slightest touch on his cloak. Fai had reached out. When he looked over his shoulder, since the mage was always following him and never walking just beside him, he caught a glimpse of… something. Kurogane could not deny that this mage was immeasurable beautiful as human males went, almost effeminate, especially in many of his mannerisms. He could not deny that tiny flicker in those blue eyes of someone screaming out in desperation to not be left alone. And yet at being discovered completely recoiled behind many masks. It was that day, yes, that day that something in Kurogane changed. He knew it now, that day, something about this mage touched him deeply and awoke the beating of his heart and the need to just know. Also, it stirred his need to protect someone or something, because he was… needed. He was never needed before, but this mage, this idiot with a death wish, needed him… even if Fai didn't yet realize that need._

Kurogane grumbled, hunching into his cloak as they chattered.

Fai recounted one of their early adventures where Kurogane was "such a hero! He saved me not just once but three whole times from the acid of that witch. He lifted me right off my feet. Weee! But you, Sakura know all about being swept off your feet. It was just like that!"

They ignored Kurogane's grumble about how he had actually hit Fai with his staff, not picked him up princess style. Although, maybe it was actually then that he started to care a little about those around him. The mage had impressed him more than he had expected then. His skill with a staff and his agility were those of a well-trained warrior as Shyaoron had pointed out back then.

The princess giggled and added, "Oh, then there was Jade country! It was so cold! Everybody cuddled close to each other."

Mokona chirped, "It was warmwarmwarm in Kurgy's coat. Fai knows!"

_Fai had just mentioned how this world was much warmer than his own, and yet he sandwiched Mokona between himself and Kurogane. "Kuroku is so warm! See Mokona?" Kurogane floundered a little with his arms uncertainly and totally off guard to be practically hugged by another grown man. His cheeks burned as he hadn't entirely minded, though he minded more that he hadn't minded than the fact that he hadn't minded. He snatched the pork bun and shoved him inside his coat, retreating from Fai and the mages batting eyelashes._

Just for good measure, he scowled at the group.

His own mind could not help but wander on its own to when he was fighting in an arena against Fai. That was fun. That was infuriating. That stirred his blood in too many uncomfortable ways.

_He had watched Fai dodge, dance and show more dexterity than the warrior thought the silly mage had. Fai's opponent never saw what hit him from behind. When Kurogane faced a stranger, his blood sang in his veins. He found himself just slightly showing off. But for who? That mage? And then the two faced each other. Again, Fai dodged and danced. Again Fai avoided being hit with far too much dexterity. His willowy form flowed like water, yet with total control like a trained warrior. Kurogane taunted him angrily, "Think you can beat me?" _

_They leapt at each other. Fai should not have been able to avoid this sword swing. But he did. The tiniest roll of a shoulder and the wooden tournament blade whistled millimeters past his ear and shoulder. As Fai slid past Kurogane in mid-air, his cheek warmed the warrior's, and he whispered in his ear, "Of course. I got skill." Fai's sure content smile belied something dangerous. Was it a warning? Was he toying? Was he… oh gods… flirting?_

Kurogane growled to himself and shook the memory from his mind. He wondered why they all couldn't just shut up and stop teasing him. He didn't bother to tell them to stop, though. Sakura's giggle and Fai's sometimes actual and real smile sealed his will to endure the annoyance. Whatever. If it entertained them, then so be it. They can have their fun for now.

"Kurgi-roo always growls, just like a dog all the time. Grr grr grr. Big Dog suited him real good in Oto country!" Mokona mock growled a few more times.

Fai smiled just a little, a small true smile, remembering Oto country. Their first experience in there made him wonder about Korugane. A girl flirted and hugged him and he was unimpressed, even perhaps a little disgusted. Fai had to wonder then if Korugane preferred men to women. Registering them all with cute names made it all the more fun, especially after Korugane found out.

_Oto, the world where they were first in a game and didn't know it. They needed false names. Fai registered them. Kurogane became Big Dog and Shyaoron Little Dog, while Fai and Sakura became Big cat and Little Cat. Back to back, Big Dog and Big Cat stood as equals against demons. All playfulness vanished from the mage. His eyes became cold as ice, as if they have seen or dealt out death so much they no longer were fazed by the possibility of doing so again. _

_It went so well, that fight, till Fai was out of darts and surrounded. Kurogane sacrificed his sword to defeat the demons before they harmed Fai further. Kurogane saw Fai too deeply, saw the coward inside him. Wounded though, Fai could not divulge how much he was actually protecting people not hiding. It was just so complicated. Kurogane saw more than Fai realized, though. Kurogane saw more than a broken leg. He saw a broken soul. Something cried out through those eyes and then hid again behind them._

"And Kurgi-poo was so very strong. When I hurt my leg, he carried me on his back all the way back to the restaurant." The flirting smile this time was false, but Sakura and even Shyaoron smiled with him. There is magic in a smile that heals others. Kurogane rolled his eyes. He promised not to reveal the truth he knew the next day after Fai hurt his leg.

_Kurogane had parted from the blindfolded Shyaoron and walked the streets seeking information, listening mostly. He found the mage sitting in a quiet place, pale and sweating with tight lips. The look vanished into a false pleasant smile of greeting. Kurogane carried the foolish mage to the doctor. The leg had actually been broken, made only worse by walking on it. Fai refused drugs against the pain as it messed up his control over his magic. Wild magic was nothing Kurogane wanted to deal with, so he agreed to hold Fai down while the leg was set. It was the first time he was sure the mage would scream. But Fai remained silent. It was as if he knew pain too well to find this truly worth screaming about, or had been taught to keep silent despite any pain he experience. It made Kurogane wonder if maybe Fai didn't just know torture from the point of view of the torturer but also as the victim. It explained some of the nightmares Fai suffered._

Late that night, Kurogane wrapped his about Fai who nestled into its folds and inhaling Kurogane's unique scent. The tall warrior curled up beside the mage. Fai had tossed and turned in his sleep that night, the cloak almost cast off in the warm night air, yet a corner firmly tucked under his cheek and held there by one hand. His other hand clutching Kurogane's. Kurogane desperately pretended to be asleep. Fai simply pretended. His hard shell of hating the warrior was crumbling little by little. It was unfortunate that his self-loathing had not faltered. Fai blamed himself for the other Shyaoron's destructive and wildly dangerous magic, adding this to the rest of his life guilts and fears. He was still a danger to everyone, now through the clone Shyaoron. He was still a danger if he ever returned home. One of a set of two, twins of misfortune. He counted the days when it would all catch up to him.

It did in the next world they jumped to.

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A/N – This chapter is entirely inspired by an art meme:

http:/ hanyou –hime .deviantart .com /art/KxF-10-ways-of-flirting-meme-173340930

A/N – reviews would be nice. What did you like? What can be improved? Am I still in character? It has been a while since I read the manga / seen the episodes. Am I still on track? Does this still make sense?


	5. Misfortune

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 5 – Misfortune**_

One of a set of two, twins of misfortune. Fai counted the days when it would all catch up to him. It did in the next world they jumped to.

Before they jumped, they shared one last meal and a night of good rest. Sakura hummed a tune that reminded Fai and Kurogane of Oto country.

_In the Clover, Fai and Kurogane sat at the bar listening to this very same tune. As the sad and beautiful song came to an end. Kurogane scoffed the sentiment, "If she really wanted to go, then she should just leave and stop singing about it."_

_Fai's mask fell as watery blue eyes sank. His heart screamed with loneliness and sadness inside as he whispered, "I can understand her sentiment. I wish someone would want to take me away." He fought back his tears of self-pity and smiled anyways. "Isn't there someone you would want to run away with, someone you care about and want to go somewhere peaceful with?"_

_Kurogane did not answer the mage. His expression was dark and deep. He had once thought it would be Princess Tomoyo. She saved him as a child, pulled him back from the brink of insanity after the death of his parents. His lands to this day remain a total ruin after the demon attack. He was raised in the palace and swore to serve her as his only thanks. He vowed to grow stronger to protect the people important to him. As he grew older, however, his affections for her diminished and hers for her friend and body guard grew. He was not that body guard. He loved her, but only as one would love one's beloved ruler. At least until she cursed him and then exiled him from his home._

_He was furious with Tomoyo. So furious, he practically hated her. Kurogane thought about Fai's question. He had an answer, it had been growing within him while they all traveled together. But at that moment, he was not ready to face that possibility, not remotely ready to admit he might want to be the one to take Fai away as Fai wished. He dared not say anything. Fai hid behind far too many lies. Fai was not ready for what Kurogane might want to offer. The warrior remained silent. He was beginning to understand what Tomoyo said about strength. He witnessed it daily with Shyaoron. He silently swore there in that pub that he would be Fai's strength with Fai had none. And when Fai was ready, then he would make his offer. If Fai was ever ready. Otherwise, he would serve two people forever as Shyaoron served Sakura. "Come one. Let's talk to her about this new demon already. I want to get out of here."_

Their journey so far had been fraught with danger, troubles and fighting. A place of beauty, peace and pleasure would be a great change. Or would it?

The next world they landed in split them up once again, yet somehow they were able to understand everyone around them. The wish was for a place of beauty and pleasure. The warning is to be careful what you wish for. You might just get it, literally.

Shyaoron dropped over a table inside an inn with a crash and a groan before blacking out from the impact.

Mokona dropped into a fountain in the middle of town. Looking up, the fountain revealed a person sitting in a lotus position with seven glowing colored balls of within the body from the groin to the top of the head (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, and white) with hands holding above the figure's head a sign. Chakra Town. "Oooooo… pretty!"

Sakura landed in a bed of thick lush grass under a sakura tree heavy with cherries. She sat up and called for the others, but they were not about. The garden was HUGE and flanked the entire side of the town along a gentle river with seven bridges that lead to seven large estates.

Kurogane tumbled into a pile of silk brocade cushions with painted rice paper screen doors. The warm familiar scent of sandalwood and vanilla incense reminded him of home in his mother's chamber when he was but a boy.

Fai dropped hard onto a white marble floor. He sat up to see one entire mirrored wall reflecting his one-eyed face back at him and the figure of a man behind him. Fai's blue eye grew saucer wide and round, his gasp shaky. He spun where he sat to see the real person. He breathed out but one terrified word, "Ashura."

_Kurogane… where are you? Please… please take me away…_ Fai's thoughts pleaded briefly before they froze entirely. Ashura reached down and lifted Fai's chin. "I have been dreaming of you while I slept. And now here you are at last. No more running. You are mine." Velvety words sank in with such finality. Fai swallowed hard.

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A/N – muwahahahahahahaha!


	6. Pleasure and Pain

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_A/N – making spelling corrections for name. Please do not mind the small changes if you notice them._

_**Chapter 6 – Pleasure & Pain**_

_Kurogane… where are you? Please… please take me away…_ Fai's thoughts pleaded briefly before they froze entirely. Ashura reached down and lifted Fai's chin. "I have been dreaming of you while I slept. And now here you are at last. No more running. You are mine." Velvety words sank in with such finality. Fai swallowed hard.

The darkness seemed all consuming, all entrapping. Shyaoron felt like he was rapped once again, though this time without the slight escape of being able to see out his clone's eyes. Then came a stabbing pain. He flinched from it. Another stabbing pain made him groan and start to struggle. He didn't understand why he was being stabbed again and again. Maybe he landed in a pit of sharp things or full of critters that stabbed and bit? No, he was held down firmly while he struggled.

The blurred vision of Touya manifested before Syaoran as the once king, though likely not in this country, did his best to hold him down and still upon some bed. Yukito adusted his glasses with the back of a bloodied hand. "Almost done. Hang in there kid." Syaoran began to pant before the darkness swallowed his thoughts once more. He pleaded out Sakura's name. "She's here. She's safe. We found her out in the cherry orchard and gardens. Just relax. You had a bad landing in the inn, right over all the glasses I washed. There. That's the last shard."

Sakura had found her way into town where she found Mokona entertaining or being entertained by children. Overhearing the accident in the inn, she hoped to find her traveling companions. It was a shock when they brought her up to the room to see Syaoron with a bandage around his head to soak of the bleeding where his brow had smacked the table edge and the dots of blood on sheets and cloths as Yukito pulled out glass from Syaoran's shoulder and face. When he whimpered out her name before passing out again, she rocked on her feet uncertain about approaching. Touya finally backed off to change the water basin, allowing Yukito to bandage the youth on the bed. He gestured for Sakura to get closer. She sat on the floor and held Syaoran's hand.

"Hearts choose hearts," whispered Yukito is the familiar priestly way he had in her own world. "It matters not the face when the hearts know each other. He'll be alright, now that you are here."

Outside, Touya whispered gruffly to Yukito, "We should have sent him to the Sanctuary of the Root."

"His survival was hot at risk," countered Yukito. "You know my training from there. I can handle this."

"We are not a charity inn."

Eyebrows knit behind glasses, eyes flinched, "Maybe we should all just leave and stay there."

Touya froze. His breath pausing as he realized what he said. "No, I'm sorry. I don't want you to leave me Yukito."

"Then mark me and I will remain yours."

"I do not want to be a master."

Yukito smiled more gently, "You are a master, master of this inn. And I want to be part of this, if you will only let me."

"Fine," Touya sighed.

"Thank you, my lord."

"Touya… just Touya. We are beyond those formalities, aren't we?"

Sakura listened in the quiet of Syaoran's room, pleased that even in this world her brother and his priest found each other and were close here too. She stayed through the night while Syaoran adjusted to the pain he was in. Her very presence soothed him.

Kurogane did not feel so soothed in the complacent presence of two young maidens who entered to try to ease him and reassure him that they were there to help him. He yelled back at them that he didn't need any help, he just wanted to friends… and his damned clothes back! They had taken away his armor and cloak to clean while he relaxed. When they brought food and tried to massage the tension out of his shoulders, he recoiled and literally shoved their almost naked tattooed bodies from the room as gently as he could.

At the open screen door, they bowed apologetically to someone who was obviously in charge. _It was about time,_ thought Kurogane. _Finally someone in charge who better know what is going on._ This was the first untattooed person the warrior encountered so far. The man was young, almost too young to be in charge, barely older than the kid Syaoran. He had already hit his manly growth spurt that Kurogane hoped the kid would hit soon. "Who are you?" demanded the warrior. "And where is Mokona?" he made the assumption that the pork bun had to be close because he understood everyone and everyone understood him.

"The mokona are not here, though I suppose you are curious about how we understand each other. I am sorry if the sanctuary house maidens upset you. Sometimes mistakes are made and we do not often see people who prefer their own gender." The young man's voice was mostly steady, belying the fact that he was new to his role, but adjusting well enough.

Kurogane blanched then turned beat red. "I am in a pleasure house? Of the Witch's design?"

The man chuckled. "No. This is Chakra Town. We host seven estates or houses here that cater to the needs of each chakra, for peace, pleasure, healing. We are on the other side of the river from the town proper. In this world, people travel from far and wide for trade and for the opportunity to retreat to one or more of the houses. The Dimensional Witch has sometimes sent people here for the same reasons. Because of that, we have translator talismans all over the town and grounds." He shook out some towels and draped them over a rack, then slid a screen door aside to reveal a bathing tub already full with steaming hot water.

He made no insistences and was careful not to invade the strange warrior's space. "I understand you are seeking friends who traveled with you? I am sorry you were all split up. Some strange forces have been at work here making dimensional travel a bit… tricky." He had meant to say dangerous, but already could sense the tall darker man's anxiety. "I welcome you to this house. While you stay, for it would be better than all of you roaming and missing one another, I will send out some people to seek out your friends. Then either they will be brought here to you or you out to them, as you please."

Kurogane sighed and sat down finally. This young man was in change and did know what was going on.

Seeing the warrior start to relax, the young man nodded and smiled. "Now then, shall we be polite? My name is Rassin. This is my house. You are in the first of the estates called the Sanctuary of the Root. We ease fears, heal traumas, help people survive when they might not otherwise. I promise you. We will find your friends."

"Thank you," came the gruff reply. "I am Kurogane, warrior, samurai, ninja, follower of the Way of the Sword and Lord of…" He humphed. "Nevermind. I am Kurogane. I am bait and keeper to a friend, Fai. He is tall, thin, blond, one blue eye and a patch over the other." He chose not to say anything else about Fai, not certain what to expect or how accepted some things were here.

"I see," Rassin touched a finger to the bite scars on Kurogane's wrist, "Vampire bound only to you and you to him. Will he need to feed soon?" The warrior shook his head. "Good, then your heart may be at ease for now. Was it your choice?"

"Yes."

"You must care a great deal for him. I sense he doesn't know."

Kurogane licked his lips unsure how to answer the intrusive question and chose silence instead.

"Why don't you bathe and eat for now?" asked Rassin. "I will speak with my people and return shortly. "Will you allow me to practice my massage on you? As much as I may be lord here, I inherited in the middle of my training and still need some practice."

Kurogane weighed the offer then nodded. Rassin figured things simply needed to be on this warrior's terms. He was a cautious man, afraid of too much contact, in need of some healing of his fears but also of his losses. That can't be handled in this house. Loss was handled at the House of the Heart.

Kurogane sank into the silk cushions for several moments when Rassin left. He felt more naked in this man's presence than if he had actually been stripped down by those tattooed maidens. He wanted to ask about them, about everyone being tattooed. He thought he figured it out. The Lord, Rassin, was not tattooed. Maybe workers, servants and slaves were marked by the Lord or Master? Huffing, he stood and stripped. Alone, he stepped into the steaming bath and groaned as he inched his way to sitting in the huge tub. A long moan of pleasure and relief rumbled through his chest as the heat seeped into his aching muscled. He soaked it up for a long while before actually washing away the layers of filth from traveling.

Fai's soul stood on a knife's edge. Up until the loss of his eye, Fai mastered the dexterity to balance on the tiniest point, to dance the dance of the swords without being cut. He faltered a little now. Ashura held him transfixed. Longing and fear warred inside Fai. He longed for that touch, full of passion and want. Was it love? He desperately wanted to be loved, held, appreciated, made love to. Ashura could be a thorough lover. Was it love? Ashura could be cruel too, and punishing. And if this was Ashura, awakened from the betraying sleep spell that Fai inflicted, then Fai had fair reason to be afraid. Ashura would surely kill him… but maybe not yet. Fai wondered when he started wanting to live, really wanting. Not just to run away and hide, not just to carelessly throw himself into danger, really really want to live with the ferocity and desperation of a thirsty man in a desert.

The hand under his chin tightened and the thumb rubbed circles on Fai's cheek. The tenderness coaxed Fai to lean into it. "Good. I am here for you… Fai." Ashura's other hand carefully urged Fai out of his warm coat.

Fai was oblivious to the servants who seemed to mysteriously manifest, helping him out of the rest of his clothing. He stood, completely naked before this Ashura. Taller, broader and stronger in magic, Ashura loomed over Fai with his blue eyes and long black hair. His soft fingers traced Fai's shoulders, making him shiver. "You are not marked. I dreamed that you had been. I will have to mark you again then, mark you as mine."

Fai opened his mouth to reply, answer, or refuse. A stern look from those dark blue eyes silenced him. "Pleasure and pain, Fai. Pleasure and pain. I have waited a long time for you."

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A/N – Review please. Reviews keep writers writing.


	7. Chakra Lessons

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 7 – Chakra Lessons**_

Fai opened his mouth to reply, answer, or refuse. A stern look from those dark blue eyes silenced him. "Pleasure and pain, Fai. Pleasure and pain. I have waited a long time for you."

Rassin returned to Kuronage after relaying the descriptions of the missing friends to some servants to search the grounds. He entered the room to see that most of the dinner had been eaten and the tall dark warrior was soaking in the hot bath. Kurogane did not flinch to a man in his bathing room while he was naked. In Nihon, in the palace, this was someone common with man-servants. He preferred to do things on his own, but was never cruel to those bound in servitude.

What felt strange was that the man serving him was the lord of the house. "While I massage, you may ask me anything you wish. I will try to answer what I can." Rassin's steadiness comforted Kurogane in a way. He wouldn't have to fight for answers in this world. And the break from everyone, even if it were for just a night, was welcome.

Kurogane lay face down upon a low pallet with a thick cushion mattress, similar to a futon. Vents were opened in the room and hot air filtered in. Rassin mixed some oils together in a bowl. "What is that?" wariness lacing Kurogane's words.

"Massage oil. Patchouli and Oakmoss. They are earthy scents. I will tone them down in a moment with some sandalwood. The earthiness is what this house is about, remember?"

Kurogane grunted. "No magic mojo crap on me, got it?"

Rassin chuckled. "No no. No magic will be performed. You are for the most part very grounded and stable. Your fears are not deep rooted or debilitating. They feel more like uncertainty and discomfort and… worry. But not fear. You fear more for others."

A grunt answered the young man. Silence stretched till Kurogane asked, "Refresh me. Chakra Town? And you said something about a strange power disrupting dimensional travelers."

Rassin chose to take the questions so far in order as he straddled the backs of the warrior's legs and massaged the tight muscular buttocks. At an initial protest followed by an explanation about muscle structure, Rassin was able to continue with both the massage and the answering of questions. "Chakra Town grew up on the other side of the river to the seven chakra retreat houses. Mostly due to the popularity of the retreat houses. It's a busy center for trade and communication. There are seven sacred houses: Sanctuary of the Root for the root chakra, Waters of Passion Pleasure House and Spa for the naval chakra, Dojo of the Sun for the solar plexus chakra, The Mother's Embrace or the House of the Heart for the heart chakra, The Oratory for the throat chakra, Moonwise Akasha Library for the third eye chakra, and the Hall of the Divine or the Crown Palace for the crown chakra. Each house is versed in the same basic training of massage, counselling, healing. Yet each has specializations in dealing with the issues related to each chakra and helping develop balance and connection in each chakra."

Kurogane grunted his consent to the familiarity. He knew about chakras and had gone through some of this very healing when Princess Tomoyo first took him away from the ruins of his land to the sanctuary of the palace. "So… what's wrong with this world?" He could not help a moment of a groan as tension was rubbed out of his calves.

"About three years ago, a strange power disrupted the balance of this world. The cities grew more insular and the nomads more dangerous. Trade and travel has dropped as a result. Those masters of chakra houses who used to travel out to cities to help others returned ill, injured, or not at all. My father among them. The Dimensional Witch has also held back sending people unless the need was truly great because the dimensional travel has… well you already experienced the problem there." Rassin gently encouraged Kurogane to roll over and sit instead so the massage may continue up the front. "Warriors always seem to neglect their feet.

Kurogane felt like he just passed out and awoke in heaven. Deep rubbing through the arches of his feet thrummed relaxation up through his whole body. "Damn… you are good."

Rassin smiled up at Kurogane from where he sat on the floor massaging one foot.

The distraction was not much of one for Kurogane, who snapped back like a determined dog on his prey. "So, masters of the chakra houses have been dying. Who's in charge?"

"The King of the Crown Palace rules over the Waters of Passion and the Moonwise Akasha Library. He started out as the master of the Waters of Passion. I am not sure how he gained such discordant power to claim those houses. Mother Superior of the House of the Heart has taken rulership over the Dojo and the Oratory. They argue a great deal and struggle against each other for power over the each others houses."

"Why have they not bothered to claim yours?" asked Kurogane pointedly. That was followed by a long deep sigh as his other foot was massaged.

"When my father passed and I inherited, all the workers and servants of the house were released from their bonds to my father. I chose not to renew those bonds. I sent them all away for six months. There was no power in my house to take. I also wanted those who came back to work here to do so by their choice. I am only sorry to have lost one of the best of the root chakra priests. But I cannot fault Yukito for his love of Touya. I hope they seal their bond this year. Yukito should not remain unbounded for too long or one of the other house lords will claim him. And I don't have the strength to fight them off before I can perform the right myself."

Kurogane stayed quiet thinking about this information that was thick with magic and the rules of the world he was unfamiliar with. "Is that what the tattoos are all about? You have salves?"

"Oh no!" Rassin paused in a moment of surprise. "No, we generally do not advocate slavery within Chakra Town. But that doesn't mean the unbound are not pressured or forced into service or slavery. It just isn't too common. Though… I suppose of late the wilds have been seeping in with their ways of late." Rassin frowned his disapproval as he moved up to massage legs and thighs.

"I'd kill a man who tried to enslave me."

"Then you are a lord or master? I think I recall you reciting, or starting to recite a lineage."

Kurogane grunted.

Rassin respected the refusal to answer. He already knew that pushing this man too much would backfire badly and violently. "We should pierce your ears to identify you as a master so no one uses magic to entrap you while you roam about. I'll send a runner to fetch the master jeweller. The piercing will amplify your willpower. Although, having people marked by you will also do so."

"So, you use some magic to bind people to you? And that is why they have a tattoo? And they give you power because of it?"

"Yes. But there is more to it than that. I can also protect those I have bound to me. By the fact that they are bound to someone, they cannot be bound to anyone else. The magic does not permit that until the master is dead. You might want to consider doing this for your friends to protect them when you find them, especially the one you worry most about. As an off-worlder, that magic will fade and vanish once you leave our world, but return when you return. However, the piercings stay." Rassin winked. He tilted his head for a moment to allow Kurogane to inspect the row of six obsidian and ruby studs that dotted Rassin's left ear.

"I'll want something red and gold and something blue and silver. Something simple, here." Kurogane tapped the upper part of his ear.

"May I suggest a a ruby stud in the lobe and then a silver and gold cuff piecing with sapphires?"

"Sure, but sapphires are too dark." Kurogane thought of Fai's light blue eyes, now just one eye. It was something a bright clear sky blue, sometimes a greyish watery blue, sometimes stormy, and on occasion it was a deadly ice blue. But definitely never the dark of a sapphire.

"The jeweller will have something, I'm sure." Rassin massaged deeply into Kurogane's thighs. The warrior sighed heavily again.

When Rassin's hands rubbed too close, the thumbs making circles almost into intimate areas of Kurogane's manhood, the young master found his throat gripped firmly in one of the warrior's wands. Red eyes met his ferociously and warningly. "-I- don't even do that."

Without showing an ounce of fear, for which Kurogane was greatly impressed, Rassin explained. "You should. Release will also release tension for a man. There is a point behind the, your family jewels or scrotum. It is called the perineum. That is the point of the root chakra. Are you afraid of having such a release?"

Kurogane was not sure how to answer. The question hit home so hard that his hand released Rassin's throat. He looked away. "I have done some terribly things. I was… out of control. I don't want to lose that control and hurt anyone again, especially… just… never again. That is not strength or true power."

Rassin kept his hands to himself and sat there kneeling before Kurogane. His training in massage and root chakra healing called for him to address this fear. "You know, there is a line. Some call it a cliff or an edge. You likely ran headlong off that edge often without ever learning where it was. Don't you want to know where the line is? So you can approach it with awareness and control? So you can choose to cross it or not? Then you will never have to worry about hurting your vampire friend."

Kurogane gasped. "Stay out of my head!"

Rassin stood and collected the massage oils. "I'll let you rest and think while I fetch the jeweller." He knew he had pushed. It was time to take a few steps back and let the warrior digest this realization and this offer till he could make a choice he was comfortable with, one way or another. It was time to give a potentially dangerous animal some space.

* * *

A/N – I have chosen to spend time in Chakra Town for all the members of our group because it will be good character development. Please review what you read! And remember, this fic is rated M for a reason.


	8. Piercings

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 8 – Piercing**_

Rassin stood and collected the massage oils. "I'll let you rest and think while I fetch the jeweller." He knew he had pushed. It was time to take a few steps back and let the warrior digest this realization and this offer till he could make a choice he was comfortable with, one way or another. It was time to give a potentially dangerous animal some space.

Yukito walked in to check on Sakura and Syaoran. The young girl raised her head from her crossed arms on the young man's bed. "Have you been there all afternoon? Did you eat? Did he?" her small nods answered each question. He brushed his fingers on her brow. A whisper of a spell and he read something of her. "You should go speak with Touya. Don't worry. I know a little of healing magic. I will keep treating him. He will be fine. Both you and Touya worry overmuch."

Reluctantly, Sakura left the room to seek out Touya.

Syaoran opened his eyes as he had woken from the talking. Yukito touched the wounded man's brow the same way as he had Sakura's. The same whisper of magic and a small frown. "You two are… the same? Two hearts cut from the… I suppose that is why you are together."

Syaoran sat up with a wince. Yukito rubbed a healing salve into the cuts and whispered another chant over them. "Will you follow her everywhere?" he asked as he adjusted his glasses before checking Syaoran's head wound.

"Anything and everywhere. Whatever I must to protect her, to… save her… anything. I will help her find what she has lost. I will save her life when I can. I must."

"And yet, you are of the same blood and soul."

Syaoran did not quite understand. "I am of the same ancestor, Clow, but that is all." He submitted to Yukito's next round of healing. "She doesn't… I…" He struggled with what to say finding it hard to keep things secret with this man.

"You may share your fear with me. I will never tell. But I might be able to help."

"I had a clone. He was made from me and I gave him some of my own heart to make sure he was not used to hurt her but protect her. In my stead till I could come, till I could be free from the spells that held me trapped. Now, now that I am here and that part of me that he had is back with me… She loved him. She trusted him. Not me. I am afraid I have lost her, again. And I do not know what to do… other than to continue helping her find what she lost and to continue protecting her. I am afraid she hates me, or will hate me. I will protect her, even from him, even if I must kill him. It is my fault she lost him."

Yukito listened as his training kicked in. He nodded and comforted. Aching hearts were not his field of understanding too much, but enough to know when fear freezes them from reaching out. And fear he knew well, as well as how to work past it. "So you have chosen to follow her and do as she asks, yet hide deep inside yourself so she can never really know you."

Syaoran opened his mouth to protest. Yukito gently wrapped fresh bandages around Syaoran's head and the worst of the cuts. "I hear your name is Syaoran. If you are willing to give up your right as a leader, as a ruler, as blood of Clow… If you are willing to submit to her, then I might know a way to help you. Help you open up for her to see you and for her to look and start to understand. Know, trust starts with trusting. Love and trust take time to build, grow, and form strong bonds. Some of it can be hurried, but the rest is work you and she will have to do over the course of the future. My teacher once told me, to have faith in the future."

Without even a pause, Syaoran stated, "I would submit to anything she wished of me. So long as it still allowed me to protect her."

"Sometimes people need to fall, need to be hurt, in order to learn to stand on their own. Let her make the decisions if you are willing to submit."

Syaoran had not realized the confusing position he had been in till it was plainly described to him. She would never learn to lead if no one let her try. So he simply nodded.

"Good, then why don't we go watch her be registered as a master in this world. Then we can discuss how she can mark you so you can do what you have set out to do, whatever that is here in this world." Yukito helped Syaoron stand and walked slowly with him into the hallway.

Sakura squeaked in surprise when Touya suddenly blocked her way to the main dining pub of the inn. He firmly turned her around and ushered her out of sight. "No you don't. It is not safe. People have been talking enough about you and I am not about to find out someone has snatched you and made you into one of their pet slaves. You stay out of sight till you are properly marked."

She gave him the most indignant look she could, one reserved for her own brother when he was being just as unreasonable. "Does this have something to do with some marking rite you and yukito were talking about?"

A flash of embarrassed color jumped across Touya's cheeks. He cleared his throat. "Yes. And no." He huffed a sigh of exasperation. "See my ears? They are pierces. I am marked as a land owner, a lord, a master. Others serve under me in this in as this is my inn." He called over one of the kitchen staff and showed the tattooing on the back of the woman's neck that vanished under the clothing down her back. "Thank you. Please send for the jeweller." The servant nodded and changed the course of her path to obey her boss. "Servants are marked by those they serve. It protects them from anyone using controlling magic on them. It identifies them as… well…"

"Your servants… or your slaves?"

"I keep no slaves here. Everyone is here because they want to be." He snapped a protest.

"So, I have to be pierced because I am the king's sister from my world and have people who serve me." She thought of Syaoron. "And then I have to mark him because he serves me?"

Touya guided her back upstairs to a private room. "Yes. If he wants to serve you."

Sakura suddenly was not sure and sat on the stool proffered to her. "Why is Yukito not marked? Why is he insisting you mark him? Is he in danger?"

Touya chewed the inside of his cheek a moment. He didn't like his personal life so well seen or known by a stranger, an off-worlder. "He isn't marked because I wanted him as my equal. But no matter what we have done, I cannot sponsor him to be that. He is a servant, has been and always will be one who serves. What he is asking is for a very deep kind of marking. It will allow him to leave here as he pleases. I'll be able to know where he is and protect him with my will. But the rite means he and I have to be fully open to one another. I don't want that deep a bond. I don't like the kind of bond that allows me to control another."

"But if he wants this, then you are not controlling him. He wants to show you how much he trusts you and how much you can trust him." After a moment, she wondered if this Syaoran would allow such a marking. She would know for sure if she could trust him then. And, if he were to go out into the world here where people might try to bind you with magic and force you into slavery, she could protect him from that.

The jeweller arrived with his servant and his son. The three set up with a box of gems, a tray of piercing tools, a collection of metal bits for jewellery, and a large tome inlaid with magical scripting. The servant laid out the instruments and cleaned everything. The son arranged all the gems and jewellery. Touya sat on a stool across from Sakura. He seems more nervous about this than she did. The jeweller addressed him as the tome was opened to a blank page. "You said she is an off-worlder? Does this mean you will follow in your mother's footsteps and sponsor?" Touya's curt agreement was noted with a chuckle. "This will be your first then. You will be fine, Touya. This is why I am here. You don't do this alone." The old jeweller spoke some words of magic and the pages flipped on their own, then the blank one reshuffled itself onto a new location and a symbol embossed one corner.

Sakura's mouth formed an O as her eyes widened in wonderment.

"So, an off-worlder. What world or country do you come from?" he asked Sakura.

"I am from Clow Country. I am not sure if the world Clow Country is in has a name though."

The old man smiled and murmured magic words again. Again the pages flipped and reshuffled the blank one into a new place. A green symbol embossed itself below the first symbol. "So we have another from Clow Country. And your lineage? Do you come from a particular family, master craft or trade, ruling estate…"

"My name is Princess Sakura. My brother Touya is the king." She gasped as Touya groaned and both the Jeweller's son and servant snickered.

"Royal family then," the old man took it smoothly in stride to lessen Touya's embarrassment and anxiety. "You are of the family of Clow. Your piercing is emerald in dark gold. Stud in each ear. There is a notation here that each member of the family has their own personal retainers and servants. Therefore, you may also choose a second piecing that is personal to you." He gestured to her son who showed her the gems and metals.

She looked at the gems and chose dark pink quartz then looked at two pieces of metal critically. "They both look silver, but this one… seems… warmer somehow. I like this."

The son informed her, "That is white gold. It looks almost like silver, but not. There is the slightest hue of yellow that makes it seem warmer."

Syaoron stood leaning in the doorway watching with Yukito. He whispered, "That suits her. It will be very pretty."

Sakura was not aware of her watchers. The jeweller then fitted the greet studs and with magic formed the rose quarts and white gold into a single feather-shaped stud at Sakura's request. "The tattoo marking for the Clow lineage is this." He handed her a paper where a green symbol leaked magically onto its surface.

"OH! That looks like the old temple ruins!" She smiled feeling thrilled inside by this familiarity. Her forefather had some close connection to those ruins enough for them to be a sacred symbol to her family.

"You must make an addition to that symbol, to make it your own personal symbol," advised the old man who had drawn the initial Clow symbol in green on the registry page for Sakura in his tome.

Here Sakura felt stumped. She fretted and thought and fretted more.

"How about the symbol on your feathers, Princess Sakura? They are a manifestation of your spirit after all. Nothing is more personal." Syaoran knew he should not have spoken and let her make that decision, but, but, but… oh well. He promised to try harder. The smile she rewarded him with was the first he had seen from her directed at him in months. It eased his some of his anxiety.

Her smile soon vanished. "You should be resting, Syaoran. What are you doing up?"

"He came to see a princess be crowned such in our world's ways," Yukito defended gently. "It is the right of her subjects to witness this."

A shyness trickled into both Syaoran's and Sakura's postures just briefly. She turned her back to the door and faced Touya. "Will this hurt?" she asked.

"Ya, for a moment. Yukito knows some healing so it will be fine by morning." Touya then followed the instructions of the jeweller with a piercing gun that instantly punched the small emerald studs into Sakura's earlobes. She tensed with a gasp each time. It happened so fast that she hardly had time to react. The pink feather stud, however had to be pieced with a needle. That made her cringe and whimper. He made uncomfortable faces, sympathetic to the pain he caused her. The blood from the needle was touched to her registry page to seal the magic of her existence there. "There, all done."

Sakura turned now to face Syaoran. He offered her a small smile and spoke confidently, "You look very beautiful." She blushed the same pink as the stone in her left ear that winked just above the green stud. He looked up at Yukito, "Now I think I need to lie down again." Yukito nodded and guided Syaoran back to bed.

The jeweller and his small team packed up. Sakura asked them if maybe, Kurogane or Fai were in that registry as her two friends were still missing and maybe, maybe they were somewhere else and going through this too. Unfortunately there was no record of them. Touya escorted her to a room to rest where Mokona cheered for her pretty pretty earrings. Yukito rubbed the healing salve into her stinging piercings later that evening. He whispered magic into each ear and encourage the healing. Tomorrow, she would be healed. And perhaps Syaoran would also be healed enough for the rite of marking him too.

The jeweller found his way to his next appointment at the Sanctuary of the Root.

Kurogane had finally ventured out to explore the Sanctuary. The evening rumble of drums beat through the floor and could be felt through his feet. He had to stop often just to feel it in his bones like rolling thunder. There was no sign of Fai here, not of Sakura or Syaoran or Mokona. A small child ran head long into his legs, "DAAAAAADYYYYY!" cried the child with glee till he looked up and realized this tall warrior was not his father. He gasped, gulped and jumped away.

Kurogane knelt down feeling odd about having been called thus by this boy of maybe four or five years old. He wondered what it might be like to be a father, if he would be as good a father as his own was, wise and just, strong and yet gentle. "Pay attention to your surroundings, kid." The child's eyes went wide and he touched Kurogane's left arm whispering about a magic sword he saw. Kurogane blinked wondering if the boy could see the invisible sigils of Fai's magic. "If you walk slow and listen carefully, the ground will tell you what and who is around you."

The boy's wonderment grew in his eyes, "You know earth root magic too!"

Kurogane grunted with a slight grin. "I got skills." Fai's words from some time ago danced into his thoughts. A woman stepped out and apologized for her son's excitement, steering the child back to a room to be lulled by the drums.

Kurogane found his way back to the room he had been staying in only to find Rassin waiting there. "Did you think about what I said?" asked the young priest.

Kurogane knew him now for a priest of the sanctuary, much as he would have regarded Princess Tomoyo as a priestess. "I am still thinking. Like hell I want to … to… have sex… with… Just like hell!" he could not bring himself to say the why, but knew he did not want to be that intimate with this man, or anyone really, well maybe one.

"You don't have to be. I can teach you the threshold without ever being directly sexual with you. It is a technique in meditation. Although, you do have a clear magical binding on you that should warn you when you are at risk of crossing a line."

"It is not the same thing. That curse is to prevent me from killing."

"The sigil in it looks like it is meant to weaken you when you defeat someone. That could mean a number of forms of aggressive shows of force and strength."

Kurogane blanched. Yes, he knew those forms of defeating an opponent. All warriors did. It happened in the campaigns between rivals of the same camps. It happened when you conquered a people. It was a way of stripping away the very will of a man to violate and kill his spirit. Yes, there were many ways to aggressively defeat an opponent. Sometimes it was too thrilling, like a blood lust in the heat of battle. He still loved the singing in his veins when he had a good fight, but now… now he had been tempered. Now he had people he cared about once more. Now he wanted an equal at his side. Now he wanted Fai.

"Maybe you won't need my help after all. Despite your fear of losing control, you have the means to maintain it." Rassin touched two fingers to Kurogane's brow. "Trust yourself. You will manage just fine… because you care." Rassin acknowledged that perhaps his inexperience had actually misread this man a little. Yes, there was true fear of losing control and hurting those he cared about, but this man's willpower was strong and very stable. From what Rassin read from the small touch to Kurogane's brow, that inner strength was not always there, but had become a recent development, a recent understanding.

A tap alerted them both that the old jeweller had arrived.

Kurogane watched them all with wary narrowed eyes. Rassin listened the same instruction s that the old man had given Touya earlier about how to do the piercing and about sponsorship. This would be Rassin's first sponsorship. Kurogane felt less comfortable about being pierced by someone who had never done it before. When the old man asked if Kurogane's wariness was born of fear, the warrior barked a laugh. He had been hurt much worse in battles that a little pricking with a couple needles.

He tried not to look too fascinated by the magical flipping of pages and magical embossing. Off-worlder. World of Nihon. Both had their place in the book. Soto country, however did not. The old man penned it is and asked what the symbol for Soto was. "A silver dragon," replied Kurogane thinking of his father. At the request of identifier stones and metals for this new lineage, Kurogane kept it simple. "One ruby stud in silver, left ear." That sufficed for all Nihon and Soto. Then he got more complicated. He asked about a two-studded cuff with a blue stone. The cuff was easy enough to produce, but Kurogane's fussiness over the stone was surprising for all in the room. "It has to be a light blue. No darker than the sea, sometimes grey like a storm, sometimes pale as ice, but mostly… mostly light blue like a perfectly clear blue sky. Set in…" His fingers moved like he was touching something his mind could only fathom, "set is a soft gold." He closed his eyes missing the look of those blue eyes sometimes obscured by the soft golden locks of messy hair. The final addition to the pages was Kurogane's personal tattoo marking for those who will serve under him, "a black dragon." He drew it onto the page for the jeweller whom he knew now was also the record keeper for lineages.

The piercing itself was bearable. Now he was in a position, according to this country's laws, to go out and take back what was his if he had to. He needed to find Fai and the others.

Victory came with information from the jeweller about the previous appointment. Sakura and, by extension from the description, Syaoran were at the Noble Dragon Inn in the town across the river. He mused at how it was Sakura who got pierced and not Syaoran. He really thought that this Syaoran would be the one to lead. He had more confidence than the other Syaoran. It was about time actually to see the princess step into what was rightfully hers.

He was eager to find the others, but accepted staying the night in order to hear news from those Rassin sent out to the other houses inquiring about Kurogane's friends. Someone might know where Fai's whereabouts.

* * *

A/N – Hope you all like this long long chapter. Next one will be rated M for Sakura and Syaoran. R&R please!


	9. Rite of Marking: Trust

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_A/N – long chapter… enjoy…_

_**Chapter 9 – Rite of Marking : Trust**_

He was eager to find the others, but accepted staying the night in order to hear news from those Rassin sent out to the other houses inquiring about Kurogane's friends. Someone might know Fai's whereabouts.

The morning dawned bright and warm, spilling sun into the room Sakura had slept alone in. Her ears felt sensitive, but mostly healed as Yukito had promised. She shook her head slowly side to side to feel the oddness and difference in the weight and feel of her ears. A smile crept across her face and she headed to the bathroom to find a mirror. Green and pink sparkled in one ear and green in the other.

"Pretty pretty!" called Mokona.

"Thank you." She found a note on top of a pile of clothing.

Mokona volunteered, "You have magic and the stones make it stronger. Did you know?" Sakura shook her head. "In this world, lots of people have magic. All those who are lords or masters or leaders have magic even when they don't." Sakura made a confused face. "Just enough magic, enhanced by the pretty stones, to bind people to them and protect them or control them. Depends on how you do the ritual. And, the more people they have bound to them, the stronger they are."

"Oh right! I have a ritual to do for Syaoran." Sakura bit her lip nervously all of a sudden. "What if he doesn't want to? It isn't like he made me any promises like my Syaoran did."

"It'll be fine fine. Syaoran wants to be there for you, too. I'm going to wake him up now!" Mokona bounced out of the room.

Sakura giggled a little thinking of how Mokona would likely wake the young man and then sadly let her smile fall as she recalled the other Syaoran. This was not her Syaoran. Yet here he was risking his life anyways in her Syaoran's place. "I will protect him. This time it is my turn to do the protecting, because I can."

With determination, she read the note that sat atop the clothes. It read that Yukito would arrive after breakfast to teach her how to do the ritual. The clothes here were specific for it. They were simple. A pink dress almost like a kimono that tied across the front went over a simple white under-dress. The kimono wrap was embroidered with green. There were strange sigils embroidered on the hem, cuffs and collar. A closer inspection revealed that they were tiny triangles, some pointed up, some down, some has a line across the middle. She wondered what they meant. There were no underwear or anything of the sort and she decided that this world had some odd customs.

The end of the note stated simply, _In all things between two people, if you wish a good bond, there must be trust. Trust must go both ways. Trust and you will be trusted. Love and you will be loved._

She had an elusive memory of Yukito in her own world saying something of the sort.

She washed and dressed and waited. Touya came in with breakfast and ate with her. She felt it coming, a brotherly lecture. How could this Touya possibly have so much of the same look and feel about him? She wanted to tell him she knew what she was doing. "I do, you know. It is important."

He countered, "You are just so young, too young. Things might happen in the ritual. You are what? Fourteen?"

"I am sixteen and I have been on my own traveling worlds with my friends seeking things I have lost for over a year. I am not a child anymore and you are not my brother." Her hands flew to her mouth and she mumbled an apology for her brief anger. "I am just so worried about him. All of them. They fight for me. They get hurt. They struggle so hard to help me get back what is mine and to protect me along this journey. This time I can protect someone. I have to do this. He will need protection. I am not going to let him get hurt, not when I can do something about it this time."

Touya sighed resignation. "Fine. Drink this then, just in case."

She drank it trustingly. He was grateful. It would protect her in case something did happen. He doubted she wanted to be surprised in their journey, or bound to this young man once she left this world.

Yukito sat with Syaoran over pancakes discussing the ritual. Syaoran had a fair understanding of magic and knew what he was getting into. "I will do whatever I must for her. I made her a promise, even if she doesn't realize or know or remember. But, yes please, if you have something to prevent uh… unwanted uh…" Syaoran blushed deeply.

Yukito offered him a vial of fluid to drink. "Here. It won't stop what you might do. But it will inhibit future situations neither of you are ready for just yet."

"Thank you," muttered an embarrassed Syaoran.

"Remember, trust and you will be trusted. Love and you will be loved." Yukito left the room to explain the ritual details to Sakura. In this, she had the most to do. Syaoran need only submit and obey. The steps for him were simple and intellectually, he felt ready to go through with this.

Syaoran spent the morning with Mokona in his room. He stretched and exercised. He worked through some of the sword moves he knew and a few he learned from Kurogane. Then he sat in the window and watched the people outside. He noted who had piercings and who had tattoos and how each behaved. Some flowed mostly easily through the city outside. Some he could clearly see were ill-treated slaves of traders or nobles. It could so be him in their position. This was important. If he got trapped by one of them, he would never be able to get back to his princess to protect her. He touched cautiously at the fading cuts on his face and shoulder, absently testing them. Memories that were not his revealed times she treated his wounds with inexperience and simple first aid supplies. Trust. He would do this no matter what because he desperately wanted her trust, even if he will never have her love.

The remainder of his morning, through the eating of his lunch and watching a servant move his furnishings and scrub his floor, was taken up in thought. Having been captive for so long, he had gotten a little accustomed to long quiet periods of thinking and analyzing. This time the subject was the coming ritual and his role in it and what it would mean for his relationship with Sakura. He also wondered about Kurogane and Fai and if they too were doing something like this. He mused and smirked at the confrontation those two would have over who would be in what role. Syaoran figured it would be at least three or four days before they came to a decision and it would likely be whichever lost the fight. Although, considering what Kurogane had done for Fai, Syaoron thought Kurogane would likely do as he himself was, submitting to gain trust from the person they cared about most in the world and would do absolutely anything for.

He thought more about he and Sakura, well and his clone. His clone had been so very submissive, shy, uncertain and thrust into a leadership role. Sakura had been submissive because she was so lost, confused, and not in control. Now the roles were somewhat reversed. She had more control, but was not very strong as a leader. He was very sure of himself and more than ready to rule things. She, however, was the princess and needed to learn to rule with and over others. This would be a good chance to give her experience. He had it in him to serve, to submit. For Sakura, for her trust, he would do this. Though, in an ideal world, he would have preferred they stood as equals. He doubted she cared as much and worried this would not work out.

He also had the added worry of the actions in this rite of marking. He looked out the window as he sipped the last of his tea, watching again the people below. There apparently were several forms of marking rites. The people of Chakra Town generally engaged in the rite by choice. Outside this town, slavery was common. The lightest form of the bond marking was a simple tattoo on the back of the neck. It usually was reserved for children and apprentices. It prevented others from binding them and helped the master keep track of where they were. At age eighteen to twenty, a formal marking could be made. This was a voluntary commitment to service and protection, something Touya was doing for his inn workers now that Touya's mother was gone. This was a deeper bond. It allowed a degree of protection, prevented others from binding the servant, and allowed the master to draw energy from the servant if he should need it. This rite required a degree of trust and a sealing of vows often in blood and writing. At least that is how Yukito had described it.

The deeper rites of marking could be done in several ways depending on the intentions and wills of the masters over their subjects. On the voluntary level, there was a deep sharing of trust and spirit. It allowed the subject to be safe from other bindings, allowed the master to draw strength and energy from the subject (event to heal themselves somewhat), allowed the master to protect and shield the subject from all forms of harm and unwanted magic, allow for each to warn the other of danger through the bond they form. This could be sealed through blood and vows, but often the level brought the two people together for a time of intimacy that took a variety of forms based on their bond to each other. The flip side of this rite was that for slavery. The subject was ensorcelled, physically or magically tied to prevent them from fighting back, often gagged and beaten, broken in some way and forced into submission. The worst effects left the slave a mindless puppet. Owned by their master, horded for the power they provided, but not protected much save from being freed or bound by someone else. Syaoran shuttered. He already knew what that was like and preferred the former that he and Sakura would perform. He hoped she would accept his offer of trust. He wasn't sure what he would do if she rejected him in the end. He tried not to think about it. Did she really know what she was getting into? Was she ready for what might happen in this rite? Was he?

He turned his thoughts to the last form of the rite that Yukito and Touya would perform later in the week. That rite was like the deep voluntary rite of marking, yet deeper still. There two people came together with total and complete trust, equals, whether they were both servants, both slaves, or of differing stations. This was a total sharing and union of souls. It was a marriage of the spirit. This is what Syaoran would have ultimately wanted with Sakura. He knew at this time, it would not happen.

A knock at his door drew his attention.

Yukito entered with a three inch thick mattress pad rolled up. A servant followed him in carrying two large basins stacked and filled with a variety of other items. Syaoran watched with interest, but was advised that he was not to do anything but follow and obey, learn to submit. That would be such a challenge, but Sakura needed to see that he meant to do as she wished, whatever it would be. He wanted her to trust him. He needed her to trust him. He ached without her trust like a piece of himself was cut out and forbidden from him.

Yukito rolled open the mattress pad on the wide open floor space. It took up a great deal of the floor and shone to Syaoran's magical senses with power, obviously freshly prepared for this task. The servant set the basins and other items on the corner of the mattress pad and left. Yukito moved a chair to one side of the mattress pad. Sakura would sit there while Syaoran proved his trust in her and his submission. He sat on his hands on the bed and waited for Yukito's instructions. "Are you ready, Syaoran?" He nodded back at Yukito's question. Yukito moved all the items into their proper places, a large basin on each side of the chair, filled with warm water and spelled to stay very warm. Some cloths rested beside the basins. A bowl with the tattoo dye empowered to become permanent on the skin when the rite sealed the bond. A bottle of oil that had to be rubbed into the skin before the tattooing to ready the skin. And a collection of some other odd items.

Yukito stepped out and held the door for Sakura to enter. She nodded seriously to Yukito, her mind busy reviewing the steps carefully. She felt nervous in just the thin white dress wrapped over by the silk embroidered kimono she tried not to think of as a thin bathrobe.

Touya caught Yukito by the arm and hauled him into a room, "I do not agree with this. They are too young. Practically kids."

"They are sixteen and have been through more than most adults. They are ready in spirit," Yukito countered as he adjusted his glasses. "Don't try to be her big brother here.

Sakura shifted from foot to foot feeling a little naked and knowing in a few moments their roles would be reversed. Syaoran sat still on the bed. His eyes sought hers then he smiled. She was very pretty in what she wore. He did not know if she wore layers and was ignorant of the fact that she had no undergarments. Sakura approached the large thick pad on the floor.

"Do I really have magic?" she asked as she wondered if she could actually do the magic for this ritual. Yukito assured her that as a pierced lord or master (princess in her case) she had that basic magic in this world.

Syaoran felt the need to answer, "You have always had magic, Princess Sakura. It is in the family to have some kind of magic. You heal the hearts of people with your touch and your smile. That kind of compassionate magic is a rare kind of magic to have." And yet she had not shared that in their travels since the clone of Syaoran left. Syaoran wondered if she would share it with him in this ritual. He knew he could not really do anything for her. He knew enough about magic to do this ritual without help, but she was the one in charge and he was to submit to her will. So he stayed where he sat on the bed, fiddling a little with the hem of his shirt.

Sakura picked up the dish of salt from collection of ritual supplies and looked from one corner of the room to the other. Her uncertainty grew. Then it showed upon her face. Syaoran bit his lip to refrain from just telling her. "Oh no," she lamented in a whisper, "I forgot this part already. I don't know where these go or how to seal the circle."

"Do you want guidance?" offered Syaoran. At her emphatic nodding, he continued. "Salt is earth and earth goes in the north." He indicated north with his eyes. "You place the elements in their corners then you set the magical sigils, then you seal the circle." This was some of the most basic magic he had learned. He guided her with his words, resisting the urge to do it for her and show her.

Sakura gingerly walked to the corner stand behind her on the left of the door. There she set the dish of salt. She looked to Syaoran for the next instruction. "Air is in the east." She thought about what he said and looked at the tools. She decided the incense must be air and smiled when Syaoran nodded to her. She turn to face the door and then walked to the corner shelf to its left. She lit the long standing incense sticks from the wall sconce there.

"Fire in the south." Sakura took up the candle feeling more sure now with the slight guidance. She lit the candle from the wall sconce too and placed it on the little writing desk that had been shoved into a corner to the left of the window.

She didn't need help with the last item. She picked up the bowl of water and shimmied into the narrow space between the bed and the wall to the bedside table shoved into the last corner. The bed had been pushed as far back as possible to give room on the floor for this rite.

She then returned to the north and tried to think about the sigil. She stood so long that Syaoran could not resist any longer and voiced another instruction. "Picture the sigil in your mind. A green triangle pointing down with a line across the middle. When it is very clear in your mind, say the element."

"Earth."

"Draw the symbol in the air and say what earth represents to you."

Sakura took in a breath and raised her hand. She opened her eyes and drew the symbol in the air saying, "Foundation, support, stability, comfort, nourishment." The symbol hung in the air shining green before her. She gasped and grinned.

Before she could totally lose the focus, Syaoran instructed, "Touch the tool and say the element."

She touched the salt in in the dish. "Earth." The glowing symbol descended into the dish like a shower of green sparkles and left a gentle emerald glow over the whole dish. She wonderment and amazement at what she had done could be felt through the whole room.

Syaoran smiled for her. This is the Sakura he loved. "East. Air. Same symbol but pointing up and it is yellow." He supplied when she looked at him questioningly.

She stood in front of the incense. "Air." She closed her eyes and focused on the yellow barred triangle in her mind. When it was clear, she opened her eyes and drew it in the air, marveling a second at the hovering yellow symbol before her. "Wind. Breath. Birds. Flying. Speaking. Music. Fai's whistling. Communication. Laughter." She touched the base of the incense sticks watching the smoke curl prettily. "Air," she declared. The symbol turned to yellow sparkling dust that coated and glowed over the incense and even set the smoke aglow.

She walked with more confidence to the desk.

"A red empty upright triangle," Syaoran answered her unasked question.

"Fire." A moment of focused silence then she drew the symbol in the air as she spoke, "Warmth, your magic, Kurogane's strength, courage, action, light, the sun, Fai's cooking." She touched the candle and stated, "Fire." The whole candle sparkled red.

She again shimmied between wall and bed to the bedside table where she had set her bowl of water. "Don't tell me…. Blue and… and… an empty triangle pointing down."

"That's right." He was already proud of how swiftly she was learning and the things she chose to that fire represented to her.

"Water." She closed her eyes and pictured the triangle, then drew it. "Cleaning, healing, life, tranquility, coolness, refreshing, fish." She dipped her fingers into the water. "Water." The symbol imbued the water with a soft blue glow.

She then walked over to the salt again and scowled in confusion. "Shaoran? How to I seal the circle?"

"Touch the element as it you dipped your finger in paint and draw a line from it to the next element till you have connected them all."

She did this with an almost giddy squeak of glee from earth to air. She was calmer from air to fire. She was focused and in control from fire to water. There she stopped. The bed was in the way and crawling across it would be awkward. She felt embarrassed to need to hike up the skirt knowing she was indecent under it. But she had committed to doing this, to protect him. So she cast aside her embarrassment and moved over the bed from water back to earth.

The room felt charged. It felt like it was not quite part of this world. The sun filtered in through the curtains, but did not seem to affect the room much. The outside sounds fell away. The circle was sealed.

She sat in the chair. Now it was Syaoran's turn to come voluntarily into this agreement with trust. He stood, feeling Sakura eyes upon him as he removed his shirt. The bandages were all gone, just a couple scabbing stitched lines showed where he had been wounded by the glass. His cheeks started to burn as he undid his pants, so he turned his back to her. He took a few breaths banishing from his mind unsuccessfully how her real brother would kill him for this. He dropped his pants and stepped out of them, folding them atop his shirt on the bed. He swallowed and removed his boxer shorts.

He had to come into this rite with nothing to hide. He covered his privates with his hands and turned around. He stood there naked yet hiding, facing her with the mattress pad separating them. _Nothing to hide. Trust. Trust and you will be trusted._ He let his hands drop to his sides, exposing himself as trustingly as he could to Sakura, his witness that he came into this rite with nothing but who he was, trusting her with himself. He swallowed nervously all of a sudden.

"Do you trust me, Syaoran? Are you willing to do this? Will you let me protect you?"

The first of many challenges in this rite faced him now. Yes was the answer to all those questions, yet he could not make his feet move just yet. Once on that magic pad, he would be bound to remain until released. Traps and magical bindings worked like that. This one was of Sakura's making. Was he willing to walk into this of his own volition? He clenched his fists and reminded himself that this descendant of Clow Reed would not be as Fei Wong Reed. Sakura was everything that embodied compassion. He relaxed his hands and stepped forward. The magic curled over his feet and up his legs with each step, halting him in the middle of the now cushioned floor.

Sakura's eyes remained somewhat wide to see Syaoran naked before her. She knew it would happen. It was important for the rite. The reality was just a little startling. She had not seen a naked boy before or a man, not wholly. The accidental moments she had walked in on her brother were a flurry of yelling and throwing of things and Yukito panicking and hiding behind a pillow. A small smirk tickled her lips and Syaoran blushed more. She took a deep breath and relaxed. This was important. "Syaoran. If I am always going to be the one left behind while you go out to fight, then I want to be able to heal you when you come back. That means, sometimes I will have to see you naked to wash your wounds."

That was a good Segway into what she had to do next. She moved from the chair to the mat and knelt there before him. She turned and soaked a large cloth in the hot water of the basin to her right. Then she stood. She bit her lip for a second. "I am going to wash you now. I need to know your… your body. It is the first step to knowing your spirit and marking you."

To Syaoran, this took all the indecency out of the process. Part of him that had been nervous and maybe a little excited crumbled into his toes with disappointment. Sakura was being practical, as practical and clinical as she could be. "I understand, Princess." The awkwardness only regrew with her every touch.

Sakura started at the top of his head and rubbed the cloth through his messy hair. A small frown appeared on her face a moment before she ran her fingers through his hair to comb it free of most of the tangles. She washed his face, noting the similarities to her own Syaoran. The difference was that this one could see perfectly out of both eyes and one had the faintest of scars around it. She washed his ears and neck. She was sure he was taller than her own Syaoran, but her Syaoran had more muscle. This one was more whip cord, had more training, but in different ways. She remained silent as she washed his shoulders and arms. She frowned at faint puncture marks on the inside of his left arm. She recognized them to be the same as Kurogane's from Fai feeding from him. She knew Fai could not feed from Syaoran, so she wondered who was the vampire who fed on Syaoran. He flinched when she lingered.

Her fingers over the puncture marks on his arm yanked his thoughts to Fei Wong. The man was not just a mage, but also a vampire. Biting onto Syaoran and draining him to exhaustion was one way he forced Syaoran into submission. He took a deep breath and shoved the memory aside.

She senses small twitches he made when she reach ticklish and sensitive areas. His muscles were much harder than her Syaoran. Her Shao felt soft to hug. She doubted this one was so soft to hug. She stepped around him and washed his back. This close, she could see the barest hints of many lines of scars. He did not have scars in places her Shao would have, but he had his own. She traced a finger over these ones after washing his back. He tensed and his breath hitched. "Who hurt you?" she finally asked.

"His name is Fei Wong. The man responsible for the death of Kurogane's mother. The man responsible for trying to disrupt your life, control it. We fought. I lost." He kept his words simple. Sakura would never understand the sacrifices he made, the price he paid.

"He's a vampire," she stated plainly.

"Yes. And a mage. He wants the magic your feathers can give him." He heard her gasp. "I will not let him have them. They are not just your memories, but your life, your spirit. I will fight him again if I have to and the next time I fight him, I will be stronger and I will not lose." His fists clenched so hard the knuckles turned white. Her cheek pressed against his back and her hands covered his till he unclenched them.

When the wave of anger emanating from Syaoran passed, Sakura continued her washing of his body. His chest, torso, abdomen. Here she hesitated. "If you are ill or hurt…"

"I know. You will need to know how to care for me and not be afraid of… of… my body." Saying it did not make it easier to endure. He was grateful at this moment for her clinical and practical attitude. He treated this with equal practicality, advising her on the hows and the whats of washing a man and the concerns to watch out for. When he grew partially erect despite his best efforts, he explained that too.

Sakura washed down his legs, relieved to have both learned about washing a man and also to have that over with. She washed his feet and giggled at his squirming. She decided to remember he had ticklish feet and wondered if her Syao did too.

Tattooing Syaoran's body with the magical dye was the next step. They knelt facing each other on the mat. She had several colors to choose from. "I need to mark you now. It should be in a way that others can see and know you are marked so they do not bother you," she pondered aloud. Her eyes roamed over his whole body trying to decide about the tattoos. "Give me a hand." He offered his left hand and onto the back she painted in pink the design from her feathers. As she painted she started to feel slight flashes from him and she realized she was starting to make a connection to his spirit. The flashes grew stronger and steadier till she knew he felt nervous. "This isn't hurting you, is it?"

"N-no." The sensation of her reaching in and touching his spirit a little as she painted her first mark upon him stabbed at his memories that he desperately tried to keep buried. The color had drained from his face by the time she finished with the first hand and started on the second. His hands began to shake uncontrollably as she finished his second hand.

"Syaoran? What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

His voice shook as much as his hands, "N-no… no… It's… n-nothing. You're… doing f-fine." _I am not. I am not fine!_ He took in a shuttering breath to steady himself.

"I hated it when he lied to me. I don't like when you lie to me either." Part of her wanted to just order him to talk, but that would make her no better than the bad people she was protecting him from. Trust and you will be trusted, was the advice. She would pretend she trusted him. She sighed, letting it slide for the moment. "Why don't bend down and I will paint on your back. You can put your arms and head on my lap. That's ok." She had a small paper with the basic designs to help guide her. She turned her paper upside down so she could draw in green upon his back the symbol of the ruins of her world.

He hesitated a moment. "Are you sure?" She nodded and he crossed his arms on her lap and rested his head there. The position did not help distract his memories. As she painted upon his back the panic rose. Once again he was shaking as he could feel her spirit working its way into him. By instinct he fought to shut her out. His breath came in short shallow pants. His mind forgot where he was and who he was with.

"Syaoran. I know you are not ok. Please. Let me in. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." She had finished the last green line to find him clinging to her wait caught between panic and weeping. She tried to comfort him. She had never been feared before and this upset her terribly to feel wave upon wave of fear and anguish rolling off someone so strong and brave. "Please, you can trust me. Just tell me what is wrong. Let me help. Please." She rubbed his back and stroked the shaved back of his neck almost in tears herself.

Little by little in broken bits, Syaoran told her of his memories, of his experience. How he had been ensnared. How he lost his first fight. How the vampire mage subdued him. How a rite just like this was forced upon him. How markings were painted on his body in an attempt to control him. How he struggled enough to tear a part of himself away and put it into his clone in a desperate attempt to foil Fei Wong and to protect her from the clone programmed to harm her. How when he was discovered he was tortured and bound by further magic. Forced into a state of suspended animation where all he could do is watch through his clone's eyes for seven whole years while someone else lived his life. How he could only watch when Sakura came into danger. How he screamed inside and fought the magical markings and binding for freedom to try to warn her, to try to help fight to protect her. How he desperately wanted to be free. How freedom only came when someone defied Fei Wong and released some of the magic on him. How he never wanted to hurt Sakura, didn't even want to hurt his clone. How he hoped beyond hope that his clone would develop his own heart and soul over the years. How he did not mean it, but could not help that his magic faded and could no longer hold the part of his soul in his clone. He could go on no more, buried in her lap with his thoughts and feelings naked to her.

Sakura wept too as she held him. She had never known or realized what he had been through to get to her. She never thought that this rite would be so much the same and stir up so much. His sadness and loneliness was so profound. She reached right in and hugged his spirit with her own. Once he had calmed, she asked if she could add to the tattoos upon him to make this as different from what he had experienced as possible.

He sat up and nodded silently, so emotionally spent. Every touch after was as much part of that compassionate healing he had described to her as he could imagine. It was what he needed. He had wanted her to trust him and to know that her Syaoran was him, was inside him, and that he loved her too, but this trauma rose unbidden and overwhelmed his every sense for a time. He followed her fingers with his eyes as she painted a honey henna color pattern around each upper arm. Then she painted the same color at his ribs, followed by swirls on his abdomen and just a little below his navel.

Their eyes met repeatedly through this as she kept more careful tabs on how he felt about what she was doing. She felt guilty for not remotely considering how he might feel by this process. "I should have asked you if you even wanted to do this. I'm sorry."

"I would do anything for you, Princess Sakura." He meant that with every fibre of his being.

She challenged him on that, "Promise me you will not harm my Syaoran."

His held his breath thinking of how to answer. "So long as he does not try to hurt you, then yes, I promise I will do my best not to hurt him."

"Promise me that you will not hide your pain from me. It only makes me worry more."

"I promise."

"Promise me you will be careful."

"I promise."

She sighed, relieved, and accepted his promises. She was surprised when he challenged her back.

"Princess, promise me that you will always care about me and heal me if I am hurt or ill?"

It felt so loaded, yet could not be more reasonable. "Of course, Syaoran." She commenced the next phase of the rite and washed him while he knelt with from the basin on her left. She focused on his salty tear-streaked face. The water did not wash away the tattoos as she had worried. Yet as she washed, the tattoos moved a little on their own, evening out and taking on the look she had in her mind that her fingers were not deft enough to paint. This washing had none of the awkwardness of the first time. This as more spiritual, more magical. As she washed with the intention of healing his spirit, cleansing him of what he just went through so he could openly trust her. That he allowed this went a long way to her trusting him as well.

The last stage was the sealing of the markings. She needed to rub the magical oil into his whole body. She had to trust her to touch him intimately. She had to trust him not to take advantage of her. He had to trust her not to force him to do anything he might not want. "Syaoran? When I rub this into you, I will be making you mine. I will seal the markings upon your body and spirit. I will draw strength from you. I will protect and shield you. I will heal you. I will know you. Will you allow me to… touch you? To finish this rite?"

He felt some of her emotions flow back to him. However, he didn't need that sense to know she was nervous about this step where the magic could pull them in directions of its own accord to properly seal their bond. It would depend on whose will was stronger and if the will of the magic of the rite itself won out. Or did they want to trust to the divine essence of this rite to know what was best for them? Syaoran shared her trepidations.

_Trust and you will be trusted. Love and you will be loved._

It wasn't as if she hadn't already touched him everywhere. She had when she washed him, twice. But to rub in oil, she would not have a cloth between her fingers and his skin. She sat behind him with the bottle of oil and started there. She felt silly rubbing oil into his scalp and over his ear. Her fingers worked the back of his neck where his hair was shaved short. He sighed. She smiled as she continued. It was like giving a soothing massage. She found his points of tension and sensed them as she willed herself into his spirit to know his body. She massaged his shoulders and rubbed down each arm. She held each hand a moment before continuing. He sighed again as she rubbed the oil down his back.

She stopped when she noted he was sitting and she would not be able to continue. He stood for her. "Thank you Syaoran." She smothered her smirk and was glad he did not see her as she massaged his butt cheeks. "Am I … uhm… supposed to rub…" She made a face. He shrugged. She drew on his courage and closed her eyes as she slid oil slick fingers down the crack of his buttocks to just behind his scrotum. He tensed head to toe. His eyes bulged and his breath hitched. He swallowed hard, not expecting the strange and surprising mix of discomfort and arousal. Sakura squeaked at the surprise of the feedback she discovered along the newly forging bond between them. "Sorry." He simply nodded. Bashful, she focused on rubbing the oil into his legs down to his feet.

He sat on the floor to give her the opportunity to rub the oil into the soles of his feet. Now he could watch her. He cheeks warmed as he did. Her eyes lifted now and then to meet his, causing her to match his blush. He hoped she would see how much of him was her beloved Syao. He hoped she would sense how much he loved her. She straddled over his knees to rub the oil into his thighs. He struggled to breathe deeply and slowly, fighting the erection that threatened. He could feel her delving more and more deeply into his soul and it started to make him nervous. He was afraid she would see that he wanted her and afraid of rejection, afraid of what they were doing at this moment. He started to shut her out, fighting to close himself off. She was tugging him to open more to give up his self-control to her. He was afraid to let go of it. He was afraid she did not have the will power to command him if the need ever arose. And this became even more apparent in his mind as his erection firmly displayed itself and his carnal desire. Embarrassed, he looked away from her. How could she ever trust him when this is what his body did and this is what he wanted?

She stopped at the junction of his hips, not yet touching his prominent organ. "Syaoran. Look at me." Her words held enough command in them that he obeyed, but not enough to force him if he really didn't want to. "I won't hurt you. And I am not embarrassed. Shy, yes, but you said this is normal. Your body is going to do this because I am touching you. It's ok." He met her eyes and held them as his breath came short. Her fingers did not hesitate this time. They gathered a little more oil and then explored the most vulnerable parts of his body. She held his eyes firmly, wanting to know what this was doing to him, wanting to understand why he was afraid. "Don't shut me out. Why are you nervous?"

"Why aren't you?" How could she not be? He might take advantage of her in fit of sudden lust. He swallowed hard. He would not take advantage of her. He wanted her trust too badly.

""Because, I am the one doing this rite and I can stop you if I need to." She sounded so sure that it surprised him. "Do you trust me?"

He blinked at her then nodded.

"Then… lean back on your hands. That way they are busy holding you up and can't do anything else." It was a solution of sorts.

He could do that one handed if he really wanted to touch her. She must know that. The silk fabric pooled over his thighs softly. He realized that this too was a test, a challenge of his will and his trust. Can he give in to her will? He licked his lips and obeyed, leaning back a little on his hands. It exposed him completely to her.

She continued her exploration with oily fingers, gently kneading her spirit into his, discovering what touch was too hard and which was too light. He could not hold in the long noise that escaped him. It sounded like a cross between a sigh and a moan. He sucked in air through his teeth and then bit his lip. When she left his intimate manhood, he was almost panting. She rubbed the oil into his abdomen. "I really like this tattooing on you." She traced the henna colored designs on his stomach and his ribs.

She had to shimmy into his lap to continue her rubbing up his body. It brought her pressed up against his erection. His breath hitched again, and so did hers. "Sakura. Maybe we should stop." He wasn't sure she was ready for what might happen between them. He was ready to accept it if it was inevitable, but would really prefer not to violate this most sacred sanctuary. This rite was about her being in him not the other way around, wasn't it? He could feed her warms through the fabric, with a hint of moistness.

"It is almost over, Syaran. A know what I am doing. I am not a child, I know what might happen. I am ok with that choice if it happens." She rubbed up his chest and to his collar bones.

"I am not."

She stopped.

"I don't want… I… I do want to do this. By gods, I want to. But because… because I love you and only if you love me too."

Here she had to think a long time before continuing. The wait was agonizing for Syaoran. He desperately opened himself up to her, emotionally pleading and hoping she would see. "It was my spirit, my heart in that clone, Sakura. It was me. And now it is back inside me." He could see in her eyes that she did not. The hurt from that look sunk deep, cut deep, inside he recoiled.

She gasped at the sudden pain she felt from him. She didn't wholly believe or understand his words. She could sense her Syaoran in him, but there was a part of her Syaoran not there. This Syaoran was too different. She didn't know how to explain that she loved that tiny innocent and uncertain part of Syao that was not in this Syaoran at all. She felt him wither under her, felt his spirit recoil as if burned. Before he could retreat within and shut her out, she flung her arms around him. She hugged his body close. She hugged the faltering spirit, holding it tight, horrified that she could hurt someone so deeply. She ignored the fact that he was naked. Yet, it was more important because he was so naked. Her he was naked in both body and spirit to love and serve her. She sensed his love. She wished she could return it, but her hearts wanted someone else.

He shut his eyes tight against the sight of her, but could not ignore her arms about him or the feel of her within him, anchoring herself there. He sat up and hugged her back. She never intended to hurt him. It was not in her to be malicious or hurtful. He hugged back, burying his face in her shoulder, surrendering to her body and soul. The magic of this rite sealed in this one act.

* * *

A/N – In case you want to know the sexy painting on Syaoran that inspired this chapter, go here:

http:/ hidrico .deviantart .com /art/Sexy-Syaoran-Fanart-Tsubasa-93277524


	10. The Hunt begins

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 10 – The Hunt Begins**_

He hugged back, burying his face in her shoulder, surrendering to her body and soul. The magic of this rite sealed in this one act.

The night before, Kurogane tried to sleep. He could not. As much as he struggled to convince himself that the kids were no longer kids and able to take care of themselves, that Fai was an excellent fighter even if he chose not to use his magic or at least exceptional at running away, despite those things, he could not stop thinking about them and worrying. With a great growl he threw off the blankets and stomped through the sanctuary. The sound of drums resounding like a constant gentle rumble or many heartbeats through all the floors. He closed his eyes and stretched his senses to pick up all the living forms. None felt like Sakura, Syaoran or Fai. He found his way outside and searched the immediate grounds. He search all night long with no success only to return at dawn to the sanctuary.

Rassin greeted him as if he completely knew Kurogane would be out all night. "I suggest to rest some and then have breakfast. I have good news for you."

"You found them!"

Rassin nodded, "I think so. They are at the Noble Dragon Inn. I will have someone guide you there at lunch when the cart arrives. It is a long walk and I suppose you want to be there before sunset. By cart, it will take but an hour."

"Tch! Fai has probably been teaching them all how to cook since he won't eat fish at all, dumb mage."

Rassin chuckled at Kurogane's anectdotal gruffness, knowing it for endearment. Kurogane gave in to a short nap after he bathed. He skipped breakfast, but ate a great deal at lunch before he took the cart to town. He had imagined that the chakra houses were close by one another. But they actually seemed to be many hours, almost a day each apart. The town indeed took a little over an hour to travel to by a rushing cart. Over a bridge, through a great orchard, down the road past the fields and farms and gardens. The cart slowed as it passed the outer caravans that were gathering for the season's market exchange. Kurogane narrowed his eyes as he stared out the cart window at the marked people who behaved like slaves and not servants. Rassin was right. Some handled the marking with respect for each place, valuing each position as necessary. Some regarded the marked as collateral assets, things to be used and abused.

When he stepped from the cart, people deferred to him, giving him space. He noticed how they stared at his odd clothing briefly, then up to his face and to the piercings in his ear. There the marked dropped their eyes in respect and scuttled away if they were the sort who were slaves. Servants spoke respectfully to him. It reminded him of the rare quiet time when his anger seemed at its least and he walked through the palace to see princess Tomoyo. People deferred to him the same way, calling him Lord or Master. He doubted Fai would ever give him that respect. He still could not get Fai to call him by his name beyond that one moment when he had. The memory gave Kurogane pause. Internally, for he would never admit it aloud, he decided he preferred the silly names. Fai calling him his full name in a serious tone only made him feel like a hated stranger or enemy. He never wanted to be that, not anymore.

Inside the inn, he demsnded loudly, "So? Where did those damned kids get to? Who got pierced and who's getting marked?" He had already made his assumptions.

Touya intercepted before this newcomer could create a problem. "If you refer to Princess Sakura and Syaoran, then you must be…"

"Kurogane."

"Ah, Kurogane. The princess was pierced last night. She's performing the marking rite on Syaoran as we speak." Touya's tone held that brotherly edge that spoke of disapproval yet resignation.

"She's… marking him?" Kurogane was flabbergasted. Maybe the other Syaoran before he became a mindless and heartless clone. But this one? This king in the making? This Syaoran carried himself with the same air as a prince who knew his place but did not flaunt it. To accept being marked as a servant… Kurogane sat in the nearest seat. " Huhn. I need a drink."

Touya sighed and retrieved a bottle, "You and me both." He sat and poured two glasses.

"They aren't… are they?"

Touya pressed his lips into a thin line for a moment. "I sure hope not, but the rite will dictate the need or their wills will. I still think they are too young, but I don't exactly have a say in this."

"Nope. Well at least if there is some deflowering it is between them and not with someone else." He huffed and scanned the room. "Speaking of annoyingness and deflowering, seen that mage anywhere?" While Fai gave off the appearance of a very gay fop, he also completely charmed ladies into giving up almost anything. It made Kurogane wonder sometimes.

"You mean a tall thin blond with one blue eye?" Touya shook his head. "Nope, not here. I have sent people about town to look and to check some of the nearby slave caravans.

The talk of slavery caused Kurogane to bristle visibly. Well, it would give him a very good reason to pick a fight. Day two was coming to an end. By the end of tomorrow, Fai would be in great need of blood and the only blood he could drink to survive was Kurogane's. He silently swore to himself that from now on, he was going to do as the other Syaoran did for Sakura, hold Fai to be sure they never got separated, even if it looked somewhat embarrassingly compromising. That thought tumbled into the variant descriptions of the rite of marking he had over lunch with Rassin. He had to wilfully shove aside the thoughts of Sakura and Syaoran having sex in a room above him. It was too weird to think about at this time.

"Thanks for the drink. Fine me a room and keep me a tab. I'm staying here to watch over the kids, but while they are… busy… I'm gonna look for Fai and end anyone who thinks they can claim him." He swallowed the remainder of his drink in one swallow, nodding to the owner of the inn and strode out with a mission. He was on the hunt. Sitting at the inn thinking about the kids having sex was intolerable. He needed to do something useful and find Fai.

Mokona attacked him with snuggles before he could reach the door. He rolled his eyes and told the pork bun he'd be back later but only if the marshmallow gave him some decent money that was usable in this world. Sack of coin in hand and Mokana reassured, Kurogane strolled through the town and markets.

He returned late, very very late, exhausted… and empty handed. No Fai.


	11. Crushing Fluorite

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 11 – Crushing Fluorite**_

Kurogane returned late, very very late, exhausted… and empty handed. No Fai.

"No Fai, there is no magic till I say so." Ashura was firm with his order yet in his seductively warm way. Fai's magic arced like icy lightning out of control about the room. Ashura held up a hand with a glowing blue ball drawing in that magic as he took step by step closer to Fai until he could lay his other hand on Fai's head.

The blond sank to his bare knees as a snap happened twice in his mind. He threw his head back with the force of the internal snap and was plunged into darkness. His mind scrabbled for anything that was not madness, for this had to be madness. Chi would have warned him if Ashura had awoken. Maybe this was a different Ashura? And like Tomoyo in Nihon could communicate with Tomoyo is Puffle, maybe Ashura of Celes was in communication with Ashura here, wherever here was. He lay on the cold marble, still stark naked, unable to move or even scream.

The first day he suffered the deer in headlights phenomenon, too stunned to fight or flee. As his situation sank in by the night, he began to truly struggle. Waste was cleaned, he was force fed, his body washed. Still he had been unable to move. At the edges of his awareness was the buzzing of his magic tempting him, forcing its way out of his firm mental clutches. He tried to listen to the people who cared for him when Ashura was not there.

He was in one of seven houses each dedicated to a chakra. He had studied the chakra in his magic lessons. This was the house of the crown chakra. There was a town about an hour away from the house of the root chakra, about six days away from here. People were marked by their masters, much as Fai had been marked before by Ashura to help him keep his wild magic in check.

Here, though, the marking was like magical chain of slavery in the soul, binding slave to master and empowering the master. Fai remained on the cold marble, stripped of dignity and losing hope by the second day. It made no sense why his magic would fight his own will. He felt like he was slipping away, hour by hour. Kurogane did not come to his rescue. He felt the bite of inner pain as his need for Kurogane's blood made itself known. He dared not show these people he was a vampire. They might just kill him instead. Slaves, had a chance at freedom, the dead did not. A stray thought skittered in his mind about how interesting it was that in this moment, he wanted to live. He had secrets he needed to tell, but was too afraid of what would happen. If he died, though, he wanted those secrets to be known.

Ashura knelt beside him on the white marble, "You are quite the powerful mage. I can sense it. Can you sense how hard it is to control the magic?" His fingers brushed Fai's brow. "My will, however, is much stronger than yours. I see you fighting my binding and fighting to control the magic in you. A year ago, the world changed. Those with powerful gifts lost control of them and the need to strengthen the markings became critical for everyone's survival. I am a master at controlling wild magic. I will control you." His hand held Fai's cheek, thumb barely rubbing the scar under Fai's missing eye. He leaned in close to whisper in Fai's ear. "And with your magic in my hands, I will finally be able to grasp that great power in the Wild Steppe. That will give me what I need to defeat the masters of the other houses. I will rule over all the chakras, thus all of life. Then I can draw that in and control the fabric of time and space."

Fai understood madness. This Ashura was just as mad as the one from his own world. This Ashura was just as beautiful, seductive, and terrifyingly dangerous. Tired from two days or very little food, Fai's will faltered. He tried so hard to hold onto those revealing words, to think how that power source must be Sakura's feather. But thoughts always vanished in Ashura's presence. Fai would be doomed tomorrow. Ashura assured him that he would perform the rite of marking and claim Fai as his own. Fai wavered in his hope of being saved. Kurogane still had not come. Fai's life would wither without Kurogane's blood. He supposed that was better than the inevitable, losing control of his magic. Maybe it would be better after all to allow this Ashura to take him. He would die anyways without Kurogane, so a moment of love (however deluded and false) would have to do.

Later that second evening, after many hours bound on the marble floor, he found he could move a little. He had no food through most of that day and thus had little strength. He managed to roll over to his other side, relieving the bruises that had started to form from being on one side so long. His own magic fought for release. To his benefit, it was fighting against the entrapment spells upon him. In another hour, he lurched to sitting and wriggled weakly to a wall where he could lean. He surveyed his surroundings. White marble on all walls and ceiling and floor. The double-doors were glass, thick enough to distort all through them and to muffle any sounds. Large magical symbols shone delicately everywhere. Fai felt that if he were at full strength and he chose to direct his magic, he could break all those. But he was not at full strength. And, to his frustration, his magic was not obeying him as he willed. Just as his magic ate through the spells that kept him from moving, a young woman entered with a tray of soup. He jerked to awareness of his freedom and the intrusion of the strange woman. His magic leapt for the offensive before he could even think to call it back. His own shriek followed seconds after hers was cut short. Soup mixed with her blood on the floor. He backed into the corner of the room as much as he could to avoid the creeping blood. His magic flaring and arcing like lightening around the room. He shrieked again.

Ashura stepped in, unperturbed by the bloody scene before him. "No Fai, there is no magic till I say so." He was firm with his order yet seductively warm and comforting. Fai's magic arced again like icy lightning out of control about the room. Ashura held up a hand with a glowing blue ball drawing in that magic as he took step by step closer to Fai until he could lay his other hand on Fai's head. "Fai, you are like a fluorite stone. Magic in you grows and is amplified with use." He whispered, "I know how to crush fluorite into fine powder. As you give in to me, I will keep you safe from this magic. You will love me and I will be strong because of you. Sleep now, Fai. Tomorrow, we will perform the Rite of Marking."

As Fai fell into darkness, Ashura's words echoed, "I long to be in you, to know you, to control you." Fai had no knowledge after that of the spells reworked upon him to retrap him. In the darkness, in the chill through the night, anger warred with fear. Need gave way to desperation. Desperation clawed helplessly till it lost hope. Ashura was always a patient man. He could offer the greatest of passions, the warmest of comforts, the coldest abandonment, and the most brutal blows to the spirit. Fai's will failed in the truth of Ashura, even though he knew this one was not the one from Celes, he was similar enough. Fai's mind whispered small useless pleas for Kurogane.

* * *

A/N – Fai is matchless with his many skills and diverse knowledge, except where Ashura is concerned. Can Kurogane put back together the many pieces of Fai? Please Review.


	12. Big Dog Tracks Fluorite

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 12 – Big Dog Tracks Fluorite**_

Fai's will failed in the truth of Ashura, even though he knew this one was not the one from Celes, he was similar enough. Fai's mind whispered small useless pleas for Kurogane.

Even though it was terribly late, even though Kurogane was exhausted and ignoring the aches from fighting with the local slavers outside of town, even though he thought it might not be what he wanted to see (being naked and intimate children), he opened the bedroom door to look in on Syaoran and Sakura.

A futon mattress had been brought in and Syaoron was sleeping on it near the bed. The boy, if you could call him that at this point, wore sleep pants and was barely covered by a sheet in the warm room. Pink tattoo's of Sakura's feather pattern decorated the backs of his hands. Kurogane followed with his eyes the many patters that now marked Syaoran's body and bound him to Sakura while they stayed in this world. Syaoran seemed relatively peacefully asleep and deeply so.

Nestled in the bed was Sakura. She too seemed peacefully asleep, though she opened her eyes when Mokona woke to the intrusion of their room. She sat up and Kurogane put a finger to his lips to indicate she stay quiet. She nodded, though concern and many questions clearly spoke in her emerald eyes. Mokona could hardly be quiet as he threw himself at Kurogane with excitement! Kurogane swiftly stepped from the room, closing the door to make sure the pork bun didn't make noise and wake Syaoran.

As much as the white puff ball often bugged the absolute crap out of him, Kurogane tolerated the gushing. "You missed Mokona! Mokona missed Kurgy too! We all did?" This was followed by disgustingly adorable little smooches that calmed after a few moments. "Oh… no Fai Fai. Mokona senses you are very worried. You got hurt trying hard to find him. You need to sleep though. You going looking again tomorrow? Can Mokona come, too?"

"No. You stay here with the princess. But you can sleep with me tonight. Give them some… privacy." Kurogane tossed Mokona into the room he had been given. A small WEEEEEEEE echoed in the room till Mokona bounced on the bed. Kurogane almost closed the door when he heard his name.

"Kurogane-san?" Sakura stood in the hallway with a little first aid kit. "They told me you were pierced and were going off looking for Fai. Touya told me you might need this." She held up a little first aid kit. "May I? I don't know much, but I know a little."

He almost protested, but grunted his assent instead. He sat on the bed and allowed her to wash some of his wounds and treat them. He had some excellent fights. It helped deal with his anxiety about Fai's absence.

"Are you going to mark Fai when you find him?"

"Yeah. Not going to lose that idiot again!" Silence stretched while she wrapped a bandage around his forearm. "I'll ask him though before I do it." He mumbled that last bit.

They exchanged their news to date. Both agreed that there was a feather in the world due to the stories and the problems that have occurred over the year with magic and whatnot. She didn't want Syaoran searching alone for it. Kurogane didn't want to search for it till he found Fai. Neither spoke of what Fai's fate might be if he were possibly captured by a slaver or if someone had already marked him. Neither wanted to think of that possibility. Then again, Fai was an excellent fighter and a mage. He had skills, or so he had said and proved several times to Kurogane. The greater concern was that he had been dropped into the world too far away to get to them in time to feed off Kurogane.

"I won't be here in the morning," he stated gruffly.

"I know. You are going to look for Fai-san again." She gave him an encouraging smile. "Syaoran and I will ask around town and see if we can find any clues, maybe also figure out where my feather is or louck out and find out where Fai is."

"I'll find him tomorrow. I won't be back until I do." He stood and dumped his armour on the floor. He touched over his arm that held a little of Fai's own magic in it to magical conceal his sword, Pale Blue Ice. An idea suddenly occurred to him. "I'll be able to track him in the morning. Go back to bed. Syaoran needs you."

At first she didn't really understand what Kurogane meant as she left and curled up in her own bed as quietly as she could. But she felt it. A lingering, creeping nightmare slithered into the young man's dreams and woke him. He kept his eyes closed and muffled any noises he might make, thinking that Sakura was asleep. That is when the loneliness hit him and he tried to smother that as well. Behind him, the blankets rustled from the bed and a small sound was heard as his futon dipped slightly. Sakura curled up close to him for the first time. She felt his pain and it was a pain she could not heal. She offered what comfort she could. It was enough. They both slept.

At dawn, Kurogane tucked Mokona in with Syaoran and Sakura before he left. Mokona had given him some jewels they had collected in their travels to trade for whatever in the market. He opted for cart ride to the Sanctuary first. He felt he needed to pay back Rassin a little and ask if Rassin had any news. This was followed by an insistent rash of questions about magic. If every pierced man had magic, Kurogane needed to understand a little about how to use it. The lessons were kept simple and he was curtly grateful that Rassin understood that much. Masters of chakra houses were like priests and priestesses, they always seemed to know too much. This time it benefited Kurogane.

Before Kurogane left the Sanctuary, Rassin gave him a magical talisman to help him on his journey. The promise was to return it once he found his friend Fai. If they were going out in the world seeking things, or daring to rebalance the world somehow, then this would help him come back to whichever chakra house he needed to be at. All he had to do was press the proper colored stone on the metal disk. The warning remained that the traveling may not be gentle and the landings likely not very smooth. "It'll be fast than riding." Kurogane would accept any means to hasten his search. He had to find Fai today.

He gripped the metal disk hard in his palm. It was just a little larger than his palm, smooth and intricately pattered with eight gemstones around the hole in the middle. It hung in a silver chain through that hole. "Travel ticket." He looped it over his head and stared again at the disk. "Where would you be, Fai?" He closed his eyes and moved the disk to his left hand where Fai's magic had been placed, where a sword impossibly hid within his arm. Fai's magic. "All magic wants to return to its owner, right, at some point? So, where will I find familiar energy?" If he calmed himself and sensed, as he had taught the clone Syaoran to do, he could sense the difference in his arm from the rest of his body. He gasped aloud for it had never been so clear before. "Must be this fucked up magical world." He refocused and ran his left thumb around the disk over each of the gems. Red Jasper. Carnelian. Citrine. Malachite. Lapis Lazuli. Amethyst. Clear Quartz. He wondered why these cheaper stones and not the more expensive ones (ruby, or topaz, or emerald, or diamond). He felt the slightest tingle in his thumb, a hint of resonance that tickled through his arm. "There."

Rassin was right about the wonky magic. The traveling lurched hard. He felt as if he had left his stomach behind. It jerked him several times from house to house. He knew he should not have rubbed all the stones and regretted that now. The magic dumped him into a grassy field on a steep hill. A shining white castle stood at the top of the hill. "Crown Castle. What the hell, Mage?" He found the road up and hiked. A cart stood with a driver at the top, clearly this driver belonged to someone he waited for as he lazed in the seat. The driver's tattooed body showed an odd tribal pattern in bright amber hinted gold with green dotting that made him appear as if he had emerald jewels embedded in his skin. The driver must be waiting for some noble or must belong to one of the other houses. Then Kurogane recalled that there were only three house masters now. He wondered if he belonged to the heart chakra house, whose name he already forgot.

The tingling in his right arm told him for sure Fai must be here. He vowed to beat the crap out of the mage for worrying him this much. He pounded on the castle's door. A servant opened a slot and spoke a politely, "Welcome to the Crown Castle. King Ashura is busy at this time. Who sent you and who are you meant to see? That way I can…" she never finished.

"King Ashura!" yelled Kurogane in surprise.

The girl jerked and flatly stated, "You are not ready to enter this house. Return to the Dojo till you are free of your anger." The slot shut sharply.

Kurogane knew now that Fai had to be here, and not likely by his will. "Like hell I am leaving! OPEN UP!" he pounded again upon the door. "OPEN THE HELL UP OR I SWEAR I WILL TEAR THIS DOOR DOWN!"

* * *

A/N – What will Kurogane do? Please Review.


	13. Cutting the Ties that Bind

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 13 – Cutting the Ties that Bind**_

Kurogane knew now that Fai had to be here, and not likely by his will. "Like hell I am leaving! OPEN UP!" he pounded again upon the door. "OPEN THE HELL UP OR I SWEAR I WILL TEAR THIS DOOR DOWN!"

He wasn't even sure how he got in. His rage at the door left him seeing red and nothing more. His chest heaved as he stood in the first hallway. The tattooed girl who answered the door lay in a heap. He forced calm into his being and put the sword back within his arm. He knelt by the girl. The words, _I'm sorry_, in his mind but unable to reach his lips. Kurogane checked her throat. She lived.

He looked back at the door. Pale Blue ice had struck so many blows that he was sure there was nothing left of it. The door, though remained intact, scarred a little on the front, but that was all. Kurogane frowned trying to recall how it opened. The cart driver stepped in. "I got you in, now keep your promise to me. Free my daughter from him." Kurogane didn't even remember making the promise. He must have in his moment of insanity. He nodded. The driver nodded back. "I'll be waiting. Our seer said that you will find that which you seek, that which is most precious to your heart, three floors up in a white marble room with crystal doors."

Kurogane stood. He let his anger return, but now the futility was gone. He would fight with clarity. Cold, deadly, clarity. He marched with long strides through the castle, trusting on his instinct to guide his way. Why that cart driver had known he would come and had known how to open the door and why he waited know were questions that could be asked and answered later, if at all. They mattered not at the moment. The afternoon was waning and Kurogane's patience was completely gone. People shrieked and scattered from him.

He was prepared for a great many things when he found Fai, having run them over in his mind a thousand times over the last twenty-four hours. None of them had prepared him for what he actually encountered. Nothing. Nor did he expect the instant wrench in his chest that dropped and wrenched in his stomach then chased its way up his spine like lava rushing out a volcano. That rush became a body slam into the crystal doors. They did not budge.

Within the room shone magic symbols in all the walls and rimming the crystal of the doors themselves. A marble cube had risen from the floor with several bowls on one edge with oil and ink. A naked Fai was held over that mock table. His pale skin made the bruises glare ominously. _At least he tried to fight._ But there was no fight left in his almost limp body. King Ashura wore a simple almost gossamer thin white silk robe as he held Fai's head down on the table with one hand. The other painted the symbols upon his body with swift deft strokes. "We have a spectator. I can still feel your spirit resisting me Fai. Let me show you how futile that really is. Shall we let him watch? Let's have you watch him watch you." He turned Fai's head as he finished the last few strokes.

One blue eyes flickered vampiric amber for a brief second then blue again as Fai met Kurogane's ruby stare. "Kuro…" It was a weak whisper.

Kurogane slammed himself again and again into those crystal doors. Magic held them as shut as the front door to the castle. "FAI! FAI!" He pounded it with his fists. He kicked with all his might. "FAI! YOU BASTARD!"

King Ashura calmly smoothed the sealing oil over Fai's body, focusing on the tattoos. "Almost done. See? Useless. Neither he nor you are a match for my will or my power. And soon, with you and that feather, no one will be."

Watching Kuronage through the crustal doors was torture for Fai. There was his saviour, just on the other side. He didn't think Kurogane was coming, but there he was. And he could not get in. But he came… he actually came. Hope flicked in Fai's spirit and gave him a little strength. "Kuro… Kurogane!"

That second of defiance shifted Ashura's calm to something ugly, something Fai rarely encountered. Fingers gripped his hair and yanked him almost to standing, only enough for Ashura's other hand to strike his right cheek hard enough for Fai to see stars. His chin crashed into the marble table. Blood dotted the white marble from his lip. "I will break you!" Ashura almost snarled as he raised his robes and finalized this marking in the harshest way. Without warning or preparation, he rammed himself into Fai with body and mind and magic. Fai threw back his head in a scream he was not permitted to release.

No, Kurogane was not prepared for what he saw. To witness this marking. To witness Fai being raped by the one being he feared most. Kurogane could only watch as the light of hope died in Fai's one blue eye. "No…. NO!" He clenched his left fist willing Fai's magic in his arm to breach these doors to get closer to the source of its creator. The icy blue swirls that Kurogane knew as Fai's magic obeyed and came to life coiling around his arm as he roared. The punch shattered both crystal and magic. Kurogane's second roar included the drawing of his blade and impaling Ashura, whose eyes widened in surprise. Kurogane ripped the vile man off of Fai, pulling his blade free and flicking it clean of the blood expertly. He felt the curse Tomoyo put on his shiver through his body. He accepted it. It was his first kill since she gave it to him. It was worth the price. Fai… was worth any price.

Fai slid to a boneless heap on the floor. His body went rigid a moment as the newly forged ties snapped. Some people screamed in the castle with the suddenness of those cut ties, their freedom after Ashura's death. The tattoos, though, seemed to remain. Kurogane pulled Fai to sitting. It was trying to move a large rag doll. He turned Fai's face to him to try to assess his condition. Fai stared blankly. Kurogane spat a curse. He pulled off his cloak and wrapped it around Fai's abused body before lifting him in his arms and carrying him through the castle to the cart.

The driver was there as promised, lifting a little girl into the front bench and starting an incantation to bring the cart to life. It was powered by magic. The little girl pointed and the driver turned to see Kurogane exiting the castle, a person wrapped in a cloak sagged limply in his arms. Exotic blond hair could be seen out one end of the cloak and long thin pale feet hung out the other. "I can get you to any chakra house or to the city central square in an hour."

Kurogane thought about going to the inn. Then he thought again, reconsidered based on what Fai just went through. "Take me to Rassin, to the Sanctuary."

An hour's journey felt too long. He held Fai as close to him as he could. That vacant look haunted him. Kurogane had seen it only once.

_ooo-ooo_

_Among one of the armies he was infiltrating to weed out the cruel. Six men had raped a green recruit. The youth staggered nakedly through a field, aimlessly, when Kurogane had found him. His stare was just as numb and blank. Blood and semen leaked down the back of the youth's legs. When Kurogane stopped the teen's forward motion, he too collapsed bonelessly. Kurogane carried him to the infirmary. The doctors told him it was shock, that was why he seemed so blank. Kurogane sated his own desires for sex with men by also sating he hunger for a good fight and to prove his own power and strength. He paid those six men back in kind before he killed each one. He regretted nothing._

_ooo-ooo_

Thinking back, Kurogane regretted one thing. He regretted leaving that youth alone. When he returned a few days later, the doctors told him the boy had killed himself. It is what Fai would do. Kurogane was not going to abandon Fai, was not going to let Fai kill himself.

_ooo-ooo_

"_Yuou, the kitten is in shock," his mother explained to the cold abandoned kitten he had found._

"_Heal him Mother!" demanded a small boy with ruby eyes who believed his mother could fix anything._

_She instructed him gently, "You can heal him. Remember what I said about the root chakra?"_

"_Yes, mother. The root chakra is about the earth. It is about fear and survival. Heal it and balance it with safety, security, stability."_

_She smiled, "That's right. Need the essential needs and he will live. Wrap him up and hold him close to your heart. Your warmth will warm him and your heartbeat will remind him he is safe. Then feed him and we will see how he is after that."_

_ooo-ooo_

Kurogane checked off the items on that list. Wrap against the shock. Check. Hold close to the heart for warmth and to hear the heartbeat for a sense of safety. Check. He hugged Fai a little tighter, feeling him start to shiver and shake. Feed him. Kurogane gasped. Of course Fai had little fight. He was weak without blood. Kurogane wriggled a little till he freed his boot knife and gave his left wrist a tiny nick. He brought it to Fai's lips. Fai didn't react beyond his eye flickering amber and back to blue. He pressed the wrist to Fai's lips, causing a thin smear of blood. Nothing. "Dammit mage! Drink!" He didn't know what else to do. He looked out the cart window and snapped his eyes back to Fai. The scenery flew by too fast. "I've got you Fai. It's over. I got you. Stay with me."

His words were rewarded with the first movement from Fai. Pale fingers curled claw-like, gripping the cloak closer. That was all.

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A/N – Did you ever doubt Kurogane? Of course he would save Fai! Shame he was not sooner. Please Review.


	14. Path to Recovery

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 14 – Path to Recovery**_

His words were rewarded with the first movement from Fai. Pale fingers curled claw-like, gripping the cloak closer. That was all.

The thousands of things Fai had done to protect Kurogane filtered into the warrior's mind over the hour drive. They were such small things. In Yama, Fai seemed to just know, of course he would know. He is a mage. Fai knew about the curse and so when fighting, he stole every final kill from Kurogane, saving him from ever suffering that curse. In the world with the book of memories, he risked a great deal using a little magic to shield them. He knew Kurogane would never have survived that fight, but would have died trying. Those were but a few of the big things Fai did. The little things included the stuff Kurogane actually didn't know how to do, like cook. Even though Mokona was adept at stealing food from Kurogane, Fai always made sure Kurogane had enough to eat. He smirked remembering Fai fumbling impossibly with chop sticks. For all of Fai's grace, he was useless at that. And the silly grinning faces were not nearly so funny as the sour revolted look he got at the sight or smell of fish as a food, especially sushi. Kurogane vowed to shove a piece of sushi in Fai's mouth just like Fai shoved chocolate cake into his.

Kurogane looked down at the pale face. Fai's eye was closed, though his whole body did not stop shivering uncontrollable. At a small movement of Kurogane's hand, Fai's eye flew open and he whimpered. Kurogane picked at the scab at his wrist till it bled fresh and tried to get Fai to drink again. No chance. The dark warrior let out a heavy sigh. In his next thought, he swore he would kill Ashura, every Ashura in every world if he had to, but most especially the one Fai feared so much.

The cart halted and Kurogane carried Fai into the Sanctuary. He sat on a bench with Fai in his lap held against his chest, unsure where to bring Fai as someone from the Sanctuary ran through the halls to get Rassin. The poor servant didn't know what to do seeing the tall dark warrior with splashes of blood upon him and carrying a blond naked man that looked far more dead than alive, wrapped almost like a corpse in a cloak. Rassin approached, hand about to touch Fai's head. Kurogane hugged Fai closer and growled like a protective dog, ruby eyes burning a deadly warning if Rassin touched Fai.

Calmly, steadily, fearlessly, Rassin spoke, "Kurogane. I need to sense his state if I am to know how to help. I will only touch his head." The nod of agreement was very curt. Rassin rested his hand very slowly and gently on the blond head. "Mage… powerful. Wild. Deep fears and secrets. Deep scars. Rape. Marked by force. Too weak from need to fight. Did he drink from you?" Kurogane shook his head. "Did you try-"

"Of course I tried!" Kurogane snapped.

"He is in deep shock. The marking lingers even though the ties that bind him have been cut."

"I killed King Ashura."

"You know what I said about the powerful?" Rassin meant Fai.

"I will fix this. I will mark him if I have to." The internal struggle was painted all over Kurogane's face before he gave in, "Help me?" He had never asked for help before in his life, but he no longer knew what to do.

"I have a room that can contain magic. None can get in and none can get out. He'll be safe there and so will all outside that room be safe from him. You will be at risk."

"I can take it."

Rassin lead the way and spoke quietly to people passing them who hurried off to do his bidding. "I have no doubt, Master Kurogane."

The room had no windows. The walls were rich dark brown stone, as were the roof and floor. Around the ceiling were vents where fresh air seemed to filter into the room. A large raised double bed stuck out from the right-hand wall with a small round table on this side of it and a half-high corner shelf on the other. A round breakfast table stood in the far right corner with a stool. A bench and trunk lined the left wall. A wash basin in a stand graced the left corner closest to the door, though the door itself was closer really to the right corner. The room otherwise was bare and functional. Kurogane laid Fai on the bed as light spilled in through the open door.

"I will bring in blankets and some screens. Someone will bring in a waste chair for behind one screen and a bath for behind the other. Do you remember the spell I showed you to create heat?" At Kurogane's nod, Rassin continued, "Good, heat the room and the blankets. We need to treat the shock first or no other need of his can be met. Shock is like a magical barrier for me. I can't heal him till the shock passes."

"I'll do it. I don't want anyone else touching him. It is my fault he is like this, I'll fix it. I'll make it right. Just, tell me what to do."

The young master gave Kurogane a sympathetic look. "Heat the room and blankets and stay with him. It will be a while yet before the shock abates and longer still before the marking fade so you can remark him. It may be a very long while before he is recovered."

Kurogane took the blankets and used his martial training for focus then the little bit of magic he learned to warm the blankets before bundling Fai in them. Then he cast the same spells into the room itself, warming the very stones. He felt a little ridiculous being the one using magic. The little he had used tired him a great deal. It was a moment of revelation and understanding. It must tire Fai to use magic, even if it in the end grows his magic. It is energy that is spent before it is replenished. It was going to be a long evening watching over Fai.

Rassin entered the room with some food and the supplies he had mentioned. Servants mounted a set of screens for privacy. Behind one went a chair-like chamber pot with an apology that this room didn't have plumbing. Some large stones wrapped in fabric were placed in a few areas of the room. When you removed the fabric, the stones glowed as if candles lit the insides, illuminating the room in soft warm hues. Behind the other screen, a large bathing tub was placed with the bench and trunk. Servants filled it. Kurogane assumed he would get more practice with the simple heating spell to heat the water. Apparently, all people had this basic form of magic, to heat and cool things. He felt ignorant.

On Rassin's third arrival in the room, he brought a large tray with strange items, large bowls, and tools, bottles and jars, bandaging, a book, and a folded letter. "I sent word to your friends in the city that you had success in finding your missing friend, but that he is injured and needs care here for a while. The young man wrote a note for you."

Kurogane read it. Syaoran's writing was not great in Kurogane's language, but it was passable. Syaoran was intending on doing a little reconnaissance on the feather's location. He folded up the note and asked about everything else. Rassin brought over a stool and asked to see Fai's shoulder. The tattooing still showed, though was lighter. Fai had stopped shivering and was fitfully asleep. "He needs your blood to live, right? Do you still have the disk I loaned you?" Kurogane lifted the talisman from his neck and handed it back to Rassin. "Thank you. I will send someone to the Library to seek information on how to help with that." He stepped out briefly and handed off the talisman. "Now then, let's talk about what is to come. You must be ready."

For the next few hours, Kurogane learned about what to expect from a rape victim, one that Rassin expected had experienced this trauma before. If Kurogane was to help, he needed to know what to expect and how to treat any wounds since Kurogane was not going to let anyone touch Fai. "It might be awkward."

"I'll do whatever I have to if it needs doing. I am not squeamish or afraid. If it needs to be done, it needs to be done."

Rassin then instructed him about each salve and bandages. Kurogane found this remarkably fascinating having never learned anything about basic healing before beyond wash it and wrap it. He then learned from Rassin what to expect psychologically from Fai in both the short term and the long term. Flinching from actual contact that Fai did not himself initiate. Night terrors. Odd affectionate behaviours. The sometimes odd desperate urge to satisfy the feeling of false love through abhorrent sexual actions. Pretending everything is fine because the truth is too scary to face or believe. Those were some of the long term. Kurogane already recognized some of them. The short term included recoiling from contact. Desperately needing to bathe and scrubbing himself raw to rid himself of the experience. Distrust or clinginess or both. Attempts at suicide. Maybe begging for Kurogane to do to him what has been done, to either help it make sense, make it someone else, or simply change the memory of the experience. "If you are not comfortable with same sex relations," Rassin began.

"I am and it is nobody's business." That was fair. Kurogane was a very private man and Rassin already knew too much, damned priest.

Kurogane ate while they talked. He was then instructed on the problems of powerful magic. Powerful gifts were impossible to control of late. Kurogane had already inferred the reason and explained so to Rassin. Once they get Sakura's feather back all would be well again, hopefully. Until then, however, Kurogane could expect Fai's magic to be random, explosive, dangerous, depending on the type of magic. Kurogane assumed dangerous. He already knew Fai was a fighter, even if he did not like it, he had skills. That meant, so did his magic. He flexed his left arm and fist. "I can take it. I can control it if I have to. He just better be back in control by the time we leave here."

"That's right, because the marking rite does not have effect outside this world." Rassin then launched into the stages of the rite. The book was there to help Kurogane if he could not remember it all. Kurogane decided that he might be able to incorporate some of that rite while healing Fai so that by the time the tattoo finally faded, he could mark Fai himself. That is if Fai permitted him. "If he refuses, this room will hold him and his magic within it till you complete your task here in our world." That was an acceptable option to Kurogane, at least in Kurogane's mind.

A servant then knocked and entered with a small bundle and instructions that he learned from the Library. Kurogane learned how to bleed himself more safely than his random cutting at his own wrist. It only gave him about traditional tea cup worth amount of blood, but now he had it in a small vessel and he could force it into the mage's mouth so Fai didn't fade and die before the night was through. Fai would need more, but at least he won't die. Kurogane asked if he may keep these tools for future use. Rassin agreed. Almost any price was worth the freedom of this world from the troublesome power source disrupting things. Yet, as a priest and master of the Root Chakra house, it was his duty to make sure needs were met and those who entered his house survived their ordeals. The rest was now up to Kurogane. In a way, Rassin knew this too. The path to recovery for Fai was to be cared for by someone who loved him more than anything. Kurogane was not unharmed by all this either. The path to recovery for him was to care for someone, care for the most important or precious person to him, Fai.

Rassin left the room making sure a servant left enough food for the next twenty-four hours for the two of them. These would be critical hours for their recovery and their bonds of trust, with or without the rite. Root chakra. Fear versus survival. Together, they need to work past their respective fears about each other. They needed each other for their mutual survival.

In his own room, Rassin met the Dimensional Witch reflected in his mirror. "Are they there?" she asked.

"Yes. I don't know if they will go through the rite, but they don't need to. They just need to survive together. This will build trust stronger than anything. Is that what you wanted of me?"

"And a certain magical disk." Rassin held out his hand to reveal the disk. "Good, when you see Mokona, he will take it for me. As to your wish…"

"I know I cannot bring back the dead. But I want to bring back balance to the houses. Our city's and our country's very survival depend on that." He demanded with all the passion of his youth.

"You are your father's son. He would be very proud of you. Here is the list of names. Write them down and find them. They may need training. Your wish means you will be very busy working with your mother. How is she doing as Master of the Heart?" The Dimensional Witch held up a list and Rassin jotted down every name he saw upon it.

"She has been holding her own well. You were right when you said he was powerful enough to defeat him. I didn't think anyone was."

"Love is a very powerful thing, Rassin. It can do the worst damage to get to what it wants. It can also do the most powerful of healing. Remember that. The heart is always the axis of survival and enlightenment." She faded from view.

In her own home of Japan, Yuko poured herself a cup of sake. "Fei Wang. You will never succeed with your plans. Hearts know the truth. The dead cannot be brought back. And Fai and Kurogane's hearts are stronger than you think."

In Fei Wang's chambers he threw his glass of red wine mixed with blood till it sprayed a pattern on the opposing wall before smashing into tiny shards. His puppet strings had been cut. He had worked so hard to reinstate control with this King Ashura. It should have been perfect. He would have reminded the mage of his promise and then forced the mage's hand. The Witch's guardian would have been ended and Fei Wang would once again be able to control the group. He felt that control already slipping away yet again.

* * *

A/N – A plot bunny needed to twist its ears and reveal itself here. Please Review.

A/N – Lyrics for a song that will follow between this chapter and then next. I recommend reading the lyrics and listening to the youtube vid. Hold onto your heartstrings and get a box of Kleenex.

_How to save a life_

_http:/ www .youtube .com /watch?v=VBRTDYU2pus_

_**Lyrics to How To Save A Life**__ :_

_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came_

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life


	15. Through the Long Night

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 15 – Through the Long Night**_

Rassin left the room making sure a servant left enough food for the next twenty-four hours for the two of them. These would be critical hours for their recovery and their bonds of trust, with or without the rite. Root chakra. Fear versus survival. Together, they need to work past their respective fears about each other. They needed each other for their mutual survival.

Only once all was quiet save for the gentle and constant heartbeat drumming in the night did Kurogane inch step away from Fai and take a cold bath. He didn't care that the water was not hot. The chill was refreshing and reminded him of his training days, training in swordplay and the secret art of the ninja. Ninja, his father was not ninja. Ninja were assassins. He learned the art so he could match the skills of the ninja attempting to take the princess's life. But that training pulled him away from the Way of the Sword and the Samurai, his father's tradition of honour.

A glance at Fai told him the mage was still asleep. The blood he had forced down the mage's throat brought minimal steadiness to the sleep, but definitely a little color to Fai's lips. Kurogane strode comfortably naked across the room to organize his armour and dig through the pack he had left here in his rush to find Fai. Or did Rassin have it retrieved from the inn? Kurogane could not remember. Fai was the only thing on his mind earlier in the day. He dressed in simple pants that tied in the front and pulled on a matching black shirt. He mused to himself how he and Fai wore the same sized clothing. Only it fit loosely on Fai's thin frame and stretched a little on Kurogane's broader shoulders. Now clean, for_ you do not clean wounds with dirty hands_ as his mother taught, he filled a basin with water and asked a servant he found in the hallway to replace the water in the bath. He would have done it himself, but he didn't know where to find the water and didn't want Fai out of his sight.

He straddled the stool with the basin and a cloth on the little round bedside table. He didn't realize how hard his teeth were clenched in concentration till he had removed the blankets and his cloak and manhandled as gently as he could the frail figure on top of towels he spread on the bed. They were down to collect blood for he remembered that teen all too well with blood streaming down his legs from his ass. Fai bled too. Kurogane's jaw was sore and he consciously relaxed it. Fai began to shiver and whimper, fingers clenching and unclenching, seeking the protective cloak. Kurogane pushed the cloak over to Fai's hands but did not yet cover his body. Fai gripped the fabric, pulling it to his face. Kurogane wrinkled his brow thinking how disgusting his sweaty cloak must smell and wondering why that brought Fai any comfort. But then he banished the thought for his own guilt of sometimes smelling Fai's clothes from the packs when no one was looking. He had a lined up excuse if he was caught. They wore the same size, how else is he to tell them apart, right?

Kurogane got to practice those simple spells of heating and cooling as he soaked the cloth and cool it to compress against the swelling on Fai's cheek. He could not access the chin buried in his cloak. He inspected each bruise critically. Nothing life threatening. Then he froze, eyes wide. In the fading tattoo pattern was that bat. That damned vile intrusive tell-tale bat. So… that secret someone who had killed his mother and who has been manipulating them and trying to ruin this journey has had a hand in this too. He wondered just how much of a hand this individual had in Fai's past. Maybe that was the secrets Fai hid behind half-lidded distant blue eyes that tried not to care but failed and cared anyways. He snarled wishing he could just rip the symbol off of Fai. He pressed his hand over it and tried to will it off, thinking maybe this world's magic would do that. Oh well. "Tch! Figures. BASTARD!" He quieted when Fai flinched at the snap of his tone. Kurogane added that person to the list of those he would kill. He wondered if the curse worked for honourable kills.

He dipped the cloth in the water and heated it this time. Without hesitation, he wiped at the bruising and bleeding skinny white ass. Fai flinched, squirmed and whimpered in near panic. Muffled pleading was heard through the crumples of the cloak. Kurogane tisked and tossed the soiled cloth into the basin. He wasn't sure if he was hurting or just scaring Fai. So little scared Fai, he didn't want to be equated to Ashura… not ever. The fear Fai showed when Kurogane chased and snarled at him was only mock fear. It went with Kurogane's mostly mock fury. When was the last time they played Dog Chases Cat? Not since before Fai lost his eye. He draped a blanket over Fai, leaving him to continue simply clutching the cloak. Fai can bathe after he wakes.

Kurogane felt too stressed to try to even nap. He sat vigil over Fai for another hour before he at least took up the instructional ritual book. If he wanted to mark Fai, it would have to be the full deal. It would have to be something like what Ashura did. He ground his teeth and tossed the book onto the table beside the basin. _Like hell I am. I am NOT going to fuck Fai._ He stomped away from the bed to stare at a wall. It wasn't like he had not thought a few times about sex with the mage. It annoyed the hell out of him that he had. Somehow, the mage was… alluring. Pale skin. Fair light yellow like the morning sun or like flax grass. Eyes… never as dark as sapphire, but bright blue like a cloudless sky. He reeled in that thought. That was what he told the jeweller for the blue stone now decorating he ear-cuff. He chastised himself a thousand times about how wrong being gay was. Not that preferred same sex partners was necessarily wrong in and of itself. It served useful and even necessary on long military campaigns. But Kurogane was a Lord, technically, with land and needing an heir. Not like Fai remotely liked him enough to be a consort. Didn't the mage hate him anyways? For turning him into a blood sucking vampire dependent on Kurogane for his very sustenance. Kurogane was too practical to be lovesick.

If anything happened here, in the coming rite, it would be because of this world's magic. It would mean nothing. They would never discuss it. It would be as if it never happened. And it would never happen again. Resolved, He turned back and approached the bed. He stopped and muttered to himself. "Bloody hell. Stupid mojo mumbo jumbo…" He picked up the dish of salt and plopped it onto the breakfast table. A quick focused breath and drew in the salt as if with a Japanese calligraphy brush or a sword the kanji for EARTH. It was a better symbol for him to use than the alchemical one and was heavy with all he understood to be the element. The bowl glowed green and he tensed. The loss of focus in the surprise that he made glowy magicky stuff caused it to fizzle out with an audible pop. "Well FUCK!" _Always respect the elements, my son. They surround you and support you and are part of you. You can't just force them to obey. Work with them, like you do with your sword._ He still was not skilled in the arts, but as a child he tried anyways out of curiosity and want to be like his mother, yet like his father too. She reminded him that because of these truths, he will be able to sense everything around him, a warrior's own magic. That satisfied a boy of eight who ran out to spar with the tree trunks happily. He snorted for his foolish startlement. Only a green rookie gets startled by something so small. He started again and willed calm and focus.

The kanji redrawn in the salt grew a steady soft green glow from the white crystals. Kurogane grunted satisfaction. He pictured his mother's little shrine. Earth in the north. Yes. He could see it well. He hoped she was proud of he was becoming on this journey. Reluctantly, he had to agree that Princess Tomoyo had been right to send him away. He had forgotten so much, lost his path. Now he started to walk the path once again. Onto the little shelf on the far side of the bed he set down a brass pot filled with sand. He sniffed several types of incense. From the collection left for the rite, he selected one that smelled… like home. A soft and delicate sandalwood hinted just barely with jasmine. He traced the kanji for AIR in the sand, lit the incense from a small burning candle from the tray and stuck it in the sand. A shimmer of yellow glinted off the sand. He quirked a partial grin. The corner by the door had nothing to place the little red candle on. He grunted, shrugged and set it on the floor after tracing the kanji for FIRE with the point of is… sword… into the wax. The red glow shone warmly out of the darkest corner of the room. Water was the easiest. In the west corner stood the wash basin in its stand in view of the tub that some servants had just started to empty. He ignored them to their duty. He had a job to do himself. He held the little blue bowl in his hand and stared into the wash basin. Then he waited for the servants to leave before sinking the blown into the basin. He drew the kanji for WATER on the surface of the water and watched the water ripple to glowing life.

He looked to the bed as he considered how he was supposed to draw a circle around the room with the bed in the way. Then he remembered how Fai used him as muscle to move book shelves in that library with the book of memories. He gripped the frame at the end of the bed and watched the wizard curled in a tight ball under the blankets. Fai was still asleep. Then he pulled the bed from the wall, giving himself enough room to pass. Fai did not wake. He retrieved his sword again and used it to draw that circle. In this way he drew upon both the memories of mother and father. He was willing to ask for any help with Fai. This… just felt right. A dragon followed in his wake from the end of his blade, leaving a trail of sigils and symbols that Kurogane would never understand. _If it works, don't question it!_

He found under the bed a futon pad. Rassin had mentioned its role in the rite. Kurogane was nothing if not impulsive and willful and determined to make things his way. He dragged the pad first to the very middle of the room and took a kneeling meditation pose upon it with his sword across his lap. _Thank you Fai for ensuring I could always have it with me._ There he stayed perfectly still, holding the meditative breathing as he had taught Syaoran's clone and later Syaoran, as his father had taught him. This rite would be a battle. A battle of wills and he thought most of it would be with himself. He needed to remain focused, in control, more patient than he had ever been in his life. He needed to put himself aside, put someone else's needs before his own. _Right now, I don't matter. He does. Father, grant me the strength of will to do what I must do when the time comes, one way or another. Mother, grant me patience… and compassion… both I rare seem to have and need more than ever._ He then bowed low where he knelt till his brow touched the futon pad. _May this futon, this floor, this very room be a fit place for whatever my ancestors deem the honourable and right thing. _He remained thus for many minutes before sitting up. Again tiny sigils illuminated the edges of the futon. _Thank you mother, father. Thank you._

Now things were ready. He replaced his sword into the magical hiding within his arm, again awed and grateful for Fai's magical gift. He pushed the bed carefully back into place, then the futon to the bedside. The tray now held some healing salves, a bowls of black and red tattoo dye and a bottle of oil. All would come later. He flipped through the book one last time and set it aside. The next step would be to bathe Fai and treat his wounds. Rites can happen or not later. The need right now was healing. Besides, no rite of marking would happen while that vile other tattoo lingered.

Fai swayed up to sitting. Bleary. Disoriented. His eye had not yet brought the world into focus. Movement in front of him and he gasped. He backpedaled off the other side of the bed. The blurry figure pursued. Glittering magic tugged his attention all around. He panicked.

"WOAH! Hey! Wait! Fai!" Kurogane tried to stop Fai, but the blond tumbled off the side of the bed and backed into the wall, cloak still clutched in his hand. Pale hand assisting him as he stood on shaking legs. The cloak hanging in front as he gripped some of it under his chin, the fabric barely providing modest coverage. His breath came in short shallow pants. "Easy. Fai. It's me, Kurogane." Kurogane stood in front of Fai now ready to block the mage's movements or catch him if he fell. "Stop."

Kurogane finally stopped looking like a large dark blurry demon from Oto Country. Fai's mind still trying to catch up with what happened. No, He didn't want to remember. He shook his head to dislodge the last images of Ashura, but he could still feel him upon him, in him. His teeth chattered. His mage senses translated the magic around him, recognized the patterns. _So, from one slave to another. I suppose it is better. I never did want to kill him. I am sorry brother, I just can't keep that promise._ He knew he was wild and dangerous here. The magic of Ashura was fading from his body and then he might lash out and kill another person, or kill this man he fought so hard not to care about. The warrior was just under his skin. _It will be better. Maybe he can control me. Doesn't he already? I cannot live without him. Do I even want to live?_ A large dark hand steadied his light-headed sway. He let his cloak drop from his numbing fingers, exposing himself to the warrior. _Let him do with me as he wills. I am nothing. I am filth. I am the worst being to ever be. WHY DID HE BOTHER TO SAVE ME!_ He wasn't sure which time he referred to. Imprisonment with this world's Ashura would have been a fit, if short punishment for his evils and his lies. Fine, let Kurogane see him, let him see the nothing that he was. The cloak pooled on the floor between their feet.

Kurogane kept a hand on Fai's shoulder. The blond had started to waver where he stood. He knew Fai hadn't had nearly enough blood. Servants entered with fresh water for the tub. Kurogane shifted his weight to try to shield Fai's nudity from the eyes of the servants. "TCH! Fai… Turn around."

Fai obeyed, turning to face the wall. He leaned forward upon it to steady himself, to ready himself. His stomach knotted and pained. The hunger was bad. He could taste just a little of the lingering flavour of Kurogane's blood in his mouth. He shivered. Maybe Kurogane would rape him there. No, that is not Kurogane's style. The warrior would rape no one. He didn't even like other men that way. Fai let his brow thud onto the stone wall.

Kurogane almost growled aloud. How could Fai just obey like this and take such a position of submission. _Does he think I am just going to ram myself into him here and now?_ Kurogane shuddered. He waited till the damned servants finally left and hoped they would not return. He backed away from Fai and removed the little bandaging on his wrist.

Fai felt the warmth of Kurogane's body behind him and thought that maybe he welcomed it. Then the chill of rushing air as Kurogane stepped away. Fai turned his head to see what his new master to be was up to. The scent of blood tinged the air, his own, but more strongly Kurogane's. Fai's eye snapped a hungry yellow. Kurogane stood again behind him. The exquisite scent drifted from Fai's blind side. He turned his head the other way. Instinct and desperation took over. Kurogane's hand moved between Fai's face and the wall. Fai gabbed the hand and bit down. Bite. Bite. BITE BITE BITE. Desperate panic to find the right place. The rush of blood when he finally hit the proper vein stilled him and he drank deep at last. He lost himself in the taste and security of Kurogane. He leaned a little into the warrior's body, needing to feel strength behind him and warmth around him.

"That's it. About time." Kurogane grumbled into the back of Fai's loose limp hair. "Drink deep. You need it. And … don't worry about me. I can take it." Or at least he assumed he could. If he didn't bleed to death from the many stupid bites of bad aim. He refrained from growling out profanities at Fai for that. He can yell at him later. Fai was not stable enough mentally or emotionally for a tongue lashing. He tried to ignore the tongue lashing. Fai was licking every drop of stray blood from every bite. At least many of those would heal. Love the magic of vampirism. They didn't always, but most did. They badly aimed bites always left scars though. "That's enough. Your slobbering on me."

Fai flinched as he came back to his senses. His head raised so fast he almost hit Kurogane in the nose with the back. With sense came awareness. With awareness came reality. With reality came the memories. Self-disgust. Self-loathing. He had given in to Ashura. He had rolled over like a spineless pupped. And Kurogane knew it. Kurogane had witnessed. Kurogane had seen Fai give in to Ashura and accept the violation. Fai's shame ran deep. Kurogane must revile him so very much and yet because of the price he paid for Fai's life as a vampire, he was bound as much like a slave to help Fai. _My keeper, my bait. _He shrank in on himself trying to block out the last three days.

Kurogane backed away to bandage his arm. "Take a bath, wizard." He sat on the edge of the bed winding the bandage roll around his forearm. "You won't heal filthy as you are."

_Filthy as I am. You have no idea how deep this filth goes, Kurgy. A bath could never wash me clean._ Fai turned a little noting the cloak upon the floor. He kept a hand on the wall for balance. The hurting inside had started. Each step reminded him of what Ashura did to him. Hand to wall… then hand to breakfast table… then hand to standing screen that hid the privy. Kurogane muttered to keep going, that the tub was behind the next screen. Fai was slow with each step.

Kurogane had time to cross the room, step behind the screen and heat the tub. At the slightly surprised look on the mage's face, Kurogane smirked. He tapped his own piercings. "They deemed me a leader, pierced me and I have some magic of my own."

Fai looked away with renewed shame. Kurogane now had magic. He had magic that was under control. What use was Fai, then to anyone, now. He sank down into the hot tub of water. He just sat there, staring at his hands under the water. He stared at his own nudity. His face contorted. His hand splashed up from the water to cover his face. A strangled noise escaped his throat.

Kurogane sighed. This would be a long night indeed. It bothered him to see Fai so… broken. He wondered if he could touch the fragile shatter pieces of Fai and piece him together again. Silently he brought over the stool, some cloths, and the salves. He spread out a towel on the bench and placed a large folded one beside it. Then he sat on the stool, legs wide with the salves and cloths on the floor between his feet. He jerked the stool as close to the tub as he could and picked up a cloth. He would have told Fai he was useless, but he didn't think it was a good idea. So, wordlessly, he began to wash his broken friend.

Fai allowed himself to be physically manipulated and washed. He felt numb and hollow. He felt like he wanted to weep, but what was the point. Kurogane did not respect crying. And really, this was not a moment were crying as a show of strength, but of further weakness. He lifted an arm when asked. He tilted his head when asked. He stood when asked. He didn't even wince or comment when Kurogane washed his privates. He sat on the towel on the bench when asked so Kurogane could wash his legs and feet. Sitting hurt. A stray thought entered his mind and escaped his mouth. "You… came for me."

"Of course I did."

"Why?"

"That's a dumb ass question." Kurogane wrapped Fai in a towel and dried him.

"How come you are doing this?"

"Because it needs doing."

"Are you going to… mark me? Like he did?"

Kurogane stopped. "Yes. Unless you say no. Your choice. I won't force something else upon you. I don't want a slave."

"What… what do you want?"

He gave Fai's hair a last rub with the towel before answering. He needed to think of how he wanted to answer this. "I want you back. You. Not some shadow of you. Not some puppet of someone else. You. No masks, no lies, no pretending."

"What if… I cannot do that?" Fai didn't want to reveal his other secrets, his other shames. They were too dishonourable and horrible. Kurogane would never respect him or trust him, ever.

Kurogane's answer was vague enough for multiple interpretations. "I'll take whatever I can get as close as I can get till I can have you. I don't go away so easily."

"I know… Thank you…"

Kurogane grunted. "Hold still." He opened the healing salve and started dabbing it as gently as his warrior fingers could on the swelling on Fai's cheek, at the edge of the wounded and scarred eye and at Fai's scraped chin. His thumb gave a dab at a slight split in Fai's lip. Each bruise received the same treatment. Fai winced when he stood. Dots of blood showed freshly where he had been sitting. Fai turned as directed and began to panic with swift breaths at the sight of the blood. "Close your eye."

Kurogane knew Fai did not actually deal with blood well. It was one reason Fai used staffs or thrown weapons like darts or arrows. The bludgeoning didn't give much blood. And at a distance, the blood never reached you. Once in Yama, despite how many kills Fai made, once a kill was too close. An enemy got slashed by another friendly soldier before Kurogane could get back to Fai's steed. The blood sprayed across white steed and blue and white armour and pale face and blond hair. It splattered across Fai's hands. Fai froze there and looked somewhere between shock and ill. That was the first time Kurogane had bathed Fai. He stayed in his tent with him the whole night despite Fai insisting he was fine. But the bathing had not been quite as intimate as this. It was more a stripping of armour and a swift washing of wherever the blood could be seen on Fai.

Kurogane took away the offending towel and crumpled it with the other dirty things. "Here. Kneel here and lean over the bench. I need to salve your wound."

"Kuro… How?" Fai obeyed with trepidation and discomfort. "How can you stand to… do this?"

"Because it needs doing." He took a glob of the salve as Rassin instructed. The little jar was nearly empty. "It will heal you swiftly with whatever magic it was made with. And no, before you ask, not my mojo. What I have done so far is confusing enough and happens by sheer dumb luck."

Fai somehow felt that Kurogane had a better understanding of magical arts than he ever let on to believe. He tried not to panic as the knowledge of what Kurogane was about to do. He scrunched his face and gripped the bench with whitening knuckles. He tried to relax the rest of his body. "I can still feel him… in me… everywhere…" It was a pained whisper.

Kurogane paused. "I know. You'll heal soon. And his markings will be gone by morning. Then he will be gone." Before he touched Fai he stated, "I am not him, Fai. I will never do to you what he did. Never do such a thing against your wishes, not to anyone. And I swear to you, I will kill him again, wherever we encounter him. He will never touch you again. And when I am done, you will never have to fear him ever again." He rested one hand on Fai's lower back. "Are you ready?"

Fai buried his face in his arms on the bench and nodded. He could not face Kurogane's honest desire to protect him. If only he knew. If only Fai could truly be saved. _Take me away, far away from here, take me somewhere safe and beautiful. _He tried not to flinch when he felt an overly salved finger press against his abused entrance. He winced as that finger intruded within him. The instant tingle of the salve a strong contrast to what he expected. It was over in seconds and Kurogane was washing his hands in the bath water.

"There is some food on the table. You should eat and drink something. Then you should rest more. I'll sleep facing the door. Don't want anyone coming in. If you can stand it, don't dress. I have enough salve left to do your wounds one more time in an hour." He strode to the bed and climbed in leaving Fai to manage on his own, find his own dignity in this ordeal and pick himself up from it. "Nothing can happen till those marks fade. We'll decide what to do then." He left Fai more than enough room on the large bed.

Fai stepped cautiously back to the breakfast table. He pecked at some of the things there and sipped a cup of juice. Slow careful steps took him to the far side of the bed. He ached still, inside and out, even as he sat and inched under the blankets. He kept so much distance between them.

"Kurogane?"

The warrior winced. Fai didn't use silly names with him very often anymore. It magnified the distance and distrust between them. "What is it, mage?"

"Fai."

"What is it, Fai?" Kurogane was almost amused at the role reversal.

"I don't hate you. Do you hate me?"

Kurogane rolled over to see Fai's back. He reached behind him for the black eye patch and hair tie he had set on the bedside sometime in the earlier part of the evening. He moved closer to Fai and tied each into place for the mage. "No, I don't hate you. Now, go to sleep." He rolled back over.

Fai's breath caught and he had to swallow hard. He rolled over this time and wriggled over to Kurogane, pressing himself between the warrior's shoulder blades. He needed to feel Kurogane there, smell him, know he was close. It was going to be a long night waiting for Ashura to fade from Fai's spirit.

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A/N – OY! What a HARD chapter.


	16. Controlling Fai

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 16 – Controlling Fai**_

Fai's breath caught and he had to swallow hard. He rolled over this time and wriggled over to Kurogane, pressing himself between the warrior's shoulder blades. He needed to feel Kurogane there, smell him, know he was close. It was going to be a long night waiting for Ashura to fade from Fai's spirit.

The night dragged through a series of nightmarish memories and experiences past and present, real and not. Fai hated them all. Countless times on their journeys, he had woken with the scream caught in his throat and sweat chasing reality down his back and chest. This night was worse. He thrashed in his sleep. The screams escaped his throat. He could not sweat enough to purge himself of reality. His magic flew wild in the room. Each ripping scream released a vibrant wave of sigils and patterns of half cast bits of magic out of control, dangerous and deadly spells.

Kurogane woke with the first movements and failed to wake Fai from his terror dreams. He ripped back the blankets to see the tattoos finally faded from Fai's body. Jumping back he dodged some of the magic Fai cast unconsciously. He hoped that the second round of healing salving he had done worked, because he resolved to not be very gentle with Fai at the moment. Kurogane grabbed the mage roughly, hauling him off the bed and shaking him awake. His grip was like iron on Fai's wrists to protect both himself and Fai from the instinctive vampiric claws. A wide blue eye with a pin prick pupil gave way to another scream and struggle. Magic slammed into Kurogane's body. Threatened to rip muscle and sinew from bone. The warrior struck the mage hard enough to daze him back into reality.

Fai crumpled to the floor on the futon pad. "Nooo…. I don't want to do it. I don't want to kill you. I don't! I don't care about the promise or the price. I don't!" He tried desperately to recoil, to call his magic back, but it splashed like thrown paint on the walls.

By sheer force of will, Kurogane caught the flying magic in his left hand, the one already laced with Fai's magic, and absorbed it not really knowing how, just doing so by instinct. He grabbed Fai again and ground his teeth together as the magic hit him directly and hard. The circle in the room, the circle of magic that Kurogane made, rippled and faltered. He forced his focus and will into holding it steady. "Stop that, Fai. STOP!" He pinned the mage over the bed face down. The magic dissipated as Kurogane provided something else to call instinct to bear. Fai sunk desperate fangs into the proffered wrist. He hissed with the sudden pain, but held Fai down still.

Fai clung to that wrist like a lifeline, not to life but to sanity. Naked, he was pressed chest to bed with Kurogane behind him. Since he could not see the warrior, his magic had less direction. In the back of his frantic mind, he thought how smart Kurgy was to do that. Kurgy. Affection laced the thought.

Kurogane held Fai tightly, felt the shaking and tension slowly ease with each swallow of blood. Kurogane had almost forgotten how strong this wraith of a mage could be. He breathed heavily, slick with exertion and sweat. As the tension eased, he relaxed his hold and sat down on the futon pad. Fai sank back with him into his lap, still drinking from the wrist in slower swallows.

He felt drops of water fall upon his arm from Fai's face and thought for sure it was sweat. He leaned closer, over the mage's shoulder and saw the streaks down Fai's cheeks. "Fai, I need you to stop drinking. It's ok. I got control of this. You can't hurt me. And I know you won't kill me."

Fai hesitated, reluctant to let go of that which held his focus.

"Good." Kurogane noted that Fai had even licked over the fresh bite to seal shut the wound. "I have to ask you, because I won't force this on you, but you sure can't roam about throwing magic like that."

"Just kill me… please," Fai begged softly.

"Like fucking hell! You got no reason to die." Kurogane muttered a few more annoyed expletives that didn't translate from his language. "I am not going to kill you and I am not going to let you die! You are too important to me!" He froze in his own self-induced shock that dashed heat across his face and neck, mentally cursing his mouth for running off before he could keep it in check.

Fai looked back over his shoulder at Kurogane just as surprised by the words. His golden vampiric eye washed into the blue Kurogane was used to. Fai knew for certain now that he would never fulfill that price for his freedom. What freedom? Was he ever really free? He wanted to die to be free, but he wanted to be important to someone before he did. The cost was great, the price still owing, but it was a chance he took, the sin he would bear forever. He wanted to die all over again for it. If Kurogane knew, then Fai would no longer be important to him. He let go of the wrist and wiped his face.

The warrior huffed. "You got two choices. I can mark you like Ashura to control your dumb ass magic and we never discuss what we have done to anyone… ever. Or you stay in this room that don't let your magic out till the kids and I get that feather."

The idea of being locked in a prison that dampened magic again was beyond unbearable. However, being marked as he was, slave, to Kurogane, was that much better? "Is the marking… forever?"

"While in this world, yes, till one of us dies. But we ain't staying in this world. Once we get that feather, we're leaving." He wondered what thoughts rolled through the mages mind in this decision process.

Fai leaned forward a little, his magic leaking in little strands from him. He saw how Kurogane simply reached out and grabbed the strands, seemingly absorbing them. Fai crossed his arms on the bed and buried his face thinking, sensing. The magic in the room was of containment and preparation for rites. The magic in the pad they both sat upon shone for the rite of marking. He knew he would have been marked if he continued to be dangerous to Kurogane. He wondered if Kurogane would have raped him. He would certainly prefer that to being abandoned in this room alone for who knew how long.

A shudder ran through Fai's whole body causing his teeth to rattle. "Mark me, Kurogane."

Kurogane winced at the use of his full name forcing distance between them despite the intimate closeness of their position and what they would now do. "I'll try not to hurt you," he vowed. He reached for the book of the rite and opened it on the bed for Fai to see and so he could follow the steps. Sure he read it before, sort of, skimming counted. Right?

Fai lifted his head. He tried not to feel curiosity, but the strange magic in the book called his eye to look and to learn.

"So, I magicked the room." Fai wrinkled his face at Kurogane's use of the word magic as a verb and wanted to correct him. "I magicked the futon." Kurogane leaned over Fai to look at the book again. "You've been washed. I hope you are healed enough for this."

"Y-yes." Fai had to stammer. Bodily he supposed he was pretty much healed thanks to the healing salves. But emotionally, psychologically, that was a definite no. He wanted more than anything to just be loved. This would be an act of practicality. This would not be love between them. Kurogane did not love him. And yet, those shocking words, what did they mean? Why was he so important to this warrior? He dared not hope.

Leaning back a little, Kurogane took a long look at Fai's back. "Well at least that bastard's mark on you is gone. It had that bat in it too, you know." He spat the words out in anger at the mystery man. "Well, they can't have you. Not now, not ever. Not while I am around."

Fai arched his back a bit to look over his shoulder better at Kurogane. "Does that mean… I'm yours?" He tried to smile, but the fake playfulness failed. At Kurogane's awkward expression and silence, he asked, "What will you mark on me?"

"My family dragon. In black and red." He held the inks in one hand and dipped in a finger. "Hold still." He didn't think he could draw so well, so he tried to think of this as brush strokes, like sword strokes. He let out a long slow breath and began to trace his fingers in patterns down Fai's pale smooth back. Fai remained still, straddling Kurogane's lap and leaning against the bed. Each stroke wove magic into Fai. Kurogane started to sense things, pick up traces of Fai's emotions. That is when he remembered the energy exchange Rassin had explained to him.

"This will let me control your magic and protect you. I can shield you… somehow."

Fai supplied some explanation, "You will always know where I am and it is magic that shields me. Your will and your thoughts. You will have to picture something like a bubble around me and it will form."

"I'll know how you are and if you are lying, not that I needed some mojo for that before."

Fai inhaled swiftly. Of course not. Kurogane never seemed to need magic to see past his masks and lies before. Those ruby eyes bore past everything and deep into Fai's very soul. It was a wonder that Kurogane didn't know Fai's deepest and darkest secrets already. Or did he? Maybe he just wanted Fai to admit them? Maybe he would force them out of him after the rite… because he'll be able to.

"And I'll gain some kind of strength from you."

Again Fai added, "The magic goes both ways. I serve you, heal you, obey you, feed your energy. You own me, rule me, control me, feed me, heal me and protect me. You will be inside me. There is no hiding from you, I suppose."

"Damn right. Now stop jabbering. It's making you move and I don't want to fuck this up."

Fai had this sudden urge to wiggle. Since he didn't want Kurogane to actually draw something bizarre on his back, he waited till he felt the fingers lift. Then he wiggled.

"Hey!" snapped Kurogane. This was followed by a swift intake of breath and a hard swallow. Kurogane coughed his embarrassment. The damned wiggling rubbed him into a partial erection. "Damn fool," he muttered trying to find words to distract him from his own body's offensive acts. Tracing down smooth skin and watching the beautiful dragon manifest upon Fai's perfect back did not remotely help. "Read the damned book and tell me what comes next." There. That would help, maybe.

Fai reached and tugged the book closer to read it. He didn't think he'd be able to but the magic in the book swirled the writing into a language he did understand instantly. The moment of fascination help him transfixed for minutes wondering exactly how that was done. It was magic he was not familiar with at all. He closed his eyes a moment wondering if Kurogane asked him to read just to keep him still or to distract him from tossing random bits of magic about.

He opened his eyes and read the book aloud, "Once the mark is upon the body, will it into the skin. Then seal it with oil. That seals the mark alone. Know the body then the soul. To do this, the oil is used as the medium and connection. As you had washed the body clean of impurities and learned it, now massage into it with care and know it for the vessel of the soul you are uniting with." He could feel warm fingers tracing simple long lines upon him. More so, he could feel as he did with Ashura the magic seeping into him. _This is what Kurogane is like, this is what his magic is like when he actually has magic. Will it be hard and angry? Will it be hot like the fire in his red eyes? Will it be cold as ice, like the magic of his sword?_

It was none of those things which surprised him. It was warm, and calm. It seeped in and steadied him. The inks were laid aside and Kurogane poured the oil into his hands and massaged it into Fai's shoulders, dragging large hands down Fai's back. The sense of Kurogane was strong, always in control. It felt meditatively calm. It was like walking into a room with a fireplace and hot cocoa after fighting the ice monsters and having someone wrap a large fur blanket about you and hold you in a tight protective embrace. Arms that will never let you fall. The energy of Kurogane while fierce and strong was surprisingly gentle. The man's massaging hands were ill practiced at the task but took their time to not miss a single part of Fai's body.

Fai melted into touch and sank back into Kurogane's chest. "Kuro… hold me?" He didn't realize he voiced this thought till Kurogane stopped rubbing the slick oil into Fai's legs and wrapped his arms about Fai and held him supportively against him. Fai let his head fall back onto Kurogane's shoulder.

Kurogane took this moment to imagine he could infuse that ink into Fai like a tattoo. He could feel the swirling chaos of fear and shame and insecurity in the mage surfacing through a growing bond. There lay also the honest desire to die and the desperate desire to hope. It felt a little like Sakura when Kurogane closed his eyes, remembering how Sakura appeared and felt in his warrior senses. Yes, to Fai she was the only princess he would truly devote himself to, just as Kurgane had devoted himself to Tomoyo. She was one who instilled hope and the first desire to live. With these feelings came the hunger as well, vampiric and dangerous. But also, something else, something Kurogane thought he had sensed with they were in Yasha's army. Want. Sometimes he sensed it when Fai looked at him. Often he thought Fai's joking about calling him the daddy of the group and himself the mommy of the group was a sly way of trying to express attraction and want. He gently pushed Fai forward so he can finish oiling him, not yet ready to oil the private parts of Fai. Although, he already knew that Fai did not consider those parts of himself private, only his thoughts and his fractured heart. A heart wanting affection and love. It was there too and the more Kurogane looked at this, the more he realized he wanted to know it more.

He pulled his thoughts away and managed to spill the oil between them. "Well shit!" Warm oil oozed over his crotch and dripped between his thighs. It was the most erotic and yet discomforting feeling. He had the urge to too Fai off so he could wipe himself, but the shimmering sigils on the futon reminded him he was in the middle of something that could not be abandoned. He wasn't finished the task at hand. With a sigh at the empty bottle, he wiped some of the oil from his groin trying not to think too hard about how hard he was becoming from this. "Remember. Whatever we do here, stays here, between us and never gets spoken of again." His hands slid slickly around to cover Fai's manhood and rub cautiously over every part of him.

Fai gasped softly, surprised again at how gentle Kurogane was being. It was a sharp contrast to Ashura, both Ashura's actually. The first time Ashura had buried himself into Fai spurred Fai to look for something, anything, in the libraries to heal himself and to learn to be a better lover in case that helped coax love out of Ashura more. He never found enough books on healing, but sexual manuals and sex magic instructions were locatable in little nooks here and there if he looked very hard. His thoughts scattered again as Kurogane's fingers stroked up and his own erection demanded more attention. Then he recalled that Kurogane wanted a vow out of him, "Yes, I know. You don't normally swing this way and you love your Princess Tomoyo. I understand."

"TCH!" cursed the warrior as he squeezed Fai out of frustration before he realized what was in his grip. Fai's eye popped open and he squeaked in surprise. It was not painful but certainly made one pay attention. "You idiot. You know nothing about me." The urge to shove Fai over on the bed and ram himself into him as he had to punish men in the field, those men in the field who raped that boy… the urge to take out his desire upon Fai rushed through him. And so did the fear and shame of the thoughts.

"Do it."

Kurogane knew Fai got his with that unconscious desire the moment the angry words snapped from Fai's mouth. He reigned himself in with a slow deep breath. He could feel Fai give up, surrender. This was not the kind of surrender he wanted from Fai, he wanted the brief honest and tender surrender he almost had a few moments ago when Fai was leaning back against him. He had no way of communicating that clearly. He pulled Fai physically back against him into a hard hug, breathing heavily till he calmed, till Fai realized Kurogane was not going to act upon that cruel whim, not with him.

"Kurogane? I want you to do it."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I know, you won't. You spilled too much oil on yourself there and well, it'll make things easier. Please? It this will never happen again…"

This was the kind of desperate talk of wanted Rassin warned Kurogane about. He did not want it this way either. "No… Fai, do you trust me? Will you trust me?" Maybe uniting bodies and souls didn't have to be physical. The silence stretched as Fai thought, as Kurogane waited with more patience than he had ever shown before. Slowly the walls crumbled, evaporated, vanished between them. Fai's whisper of yes sealed the moment. "Never forget that." He continued to simply hold Fai to him, grateful for the pants he wore for if he were as naked as Fai, he might not have been able to hold that resolve. "Fai, I trust you to. Don't let me down."

"I'll try…"

Kurogane did not want to risk the rage that he had once known in the act of sex with another. He didn't know how to simply make love. This moment of shared trust, though, was more than enough for the two of them. The delicate snap feelings of the bond sealing was proof. The magic faded from the futon and then from the corners and the walls. Kurogane offered silent thanks to his parents and hoped they did not think he was wrong in his choices to come. _I can make more than one promise and still keep them._

Fai slept better that night under Kurogane's watchful eyes and within Kurogane's protective embrace.

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A/N – Another HARD chapter. Hope you all like this so far!


	17. Fai Imbalanced

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 17 – Fai's Imbalance**_

Fai slept better that night under Kurogane's watchful eyes and within Kurogane's protective embrace. He wasn't sure if he was disturbed about feeling Kurogane's magic within him more or less than knowing he drank his blood. Both were acts of survival. How strange that now he appreciated them, whereas a month or so ago, he resented them. The warrior simply got under his skin, saw past his masks and as growly as Kurogane could be… he was always there when he was needed. _He saved me, twice now. I am… important to him._

As much as he felt balances, he felt trapped. Being a vampire was bad enough. The witch had lied to everyone except Fai, to soften the impact on Kurogane's sense of honor. She had told them all that if Fai could get his magic eye back from the clone, then he would be free of the vampirism, free of ties that bound him to Kurogane. It was a lie. Fai knew that he was a vampire forever. Getting back his magic would simply suppress much of the vampirism and a great deal of the need for blood. But, he would still need it and thus Kurogane. Kurogane was his game, his bait, bound in service to be his food forever. And now Fai was his while in this world. Fai suspected that this magic would have some lingering effects even when they left it.

He didn't realize how much he was tensing and curling in on himself till Kurogane muttered sleepy unintelligible things to try to soothe Fai back into slumber. Fai wondered why and how Kuroagne knew such compassion for a warrior, where he had learned it. Later when they woke and nibbled some fruit and cheese for breakfast, Fai watched Kurogane covertly as the warrior meticulously arranged the room as if they had never been there. Then he watched as Kurogane commenced some katas and martial exercises.

"Why are you watching me, magician?"

"You have watched me for more than a year and somehow you have figured so much of me out."

Kurogane snorted, "I still don't know everything. But I will. You'll let it out eventually… hopefully before it completely poisons you."

And once again, Kurogane managed to stab a secret part of Fai and rip free another veil. "But… I don't know very much of you. And you seemed upset when Syaoran found out from the Book of Memories."

"Try asking sometime."

Was it really that simple? Fai sat on the bed stunned by the simplicity. Could he just… ask? Dared he? Did he want to know? "Why do you always make it so we seemed to have never been here? You do this with camp, rooms, here…"

"Because we are hunted, in case you forgot that bastard with the bad emblem. It was part of my ninja training. Never be seen. Be invisible in order to protect."

Fai got an honest and straight forward answer. He wondered if he dared ask something more personal. Like why Kurogane had saved him, why he was important to the warrior. "Kurgy? How come you are so good at teaching Syaoran sword fighting?"

Kurogane packed the last of their belongings into his bag and flexed his arm where Fai's magic concealed his sword. "I guess you forgot. I never thought I would be. I had never taught anyone before. I suppose… I'm good at it because I had a good teacher."

"Who taught you?"

"My father." He tossed a second bag that had some clothing for Fai to the wizard. "Come on, time to go. The kids have been on their own long enough."

Fai concluded that he was not going to get more out of the warrior. Maybe Kurogane was uncomfortable, maybe Fai tiptoed too close. It wasn't close enough. He wanted to be closer. As they walked through the sanctuary, Fai could feel the heavy magic, earthy and grounding. Reds and browns brought home that he was in a place devoted to the root chakra. "I have so many questions," he asked to no one particular.

"It is about the world and what happened, ask as we walk and ride. If you're gonna ask me personal questions, then at least wait till we are in private. My life is my business and I would like to keep it that way."

He was starting to sense the differences in Kurogane's tones. The growls and tisks were a language unto themselves with all the unspoken body language. Kurogane was more a man of actions than words and those actions were often loud, louder now after the rite. It wasn't as if Fai could feel or sense anything specific from Kurogane as Kurogane could from him. It was more that Kurogane wanted to be understood and that desire was willed down their bond unconsciously. Fai committed these new lessons to memory to make sure they were not lost when they left this world, in case the bond really did break. He wondered if he would feel empty and lonely again then.

Rassin joined them with a warm smile that Fai mimicked. The two then chattered lightly about this world and the rules and expectations, as well as the news and happenings and troubles. Kurogane remained silent in the background just listening. Fai seemed to know just what to ask and how to respond to gain more knowledge. He learned in about fifteen minutes what took Kurogane a couple days to learn.

The new information was that the houses were out of balance, and thus so was the town. That power source had to be dealt with soon while new heads of the houses were found. Kurogane wanted to remain out of the politics. His focus was to help Syaoran get that feather back, before that clone shows up in this world and ruins their efforts or the very world.

When they step outside, Fai touches Kurogane's sword arm. "I got moves, remember? We ought to practice together. It would be like a fun dance, no?"

"It's not dancing. It's called sparring." Kurogane grumbled debating snapping at the fake mirth Fai exuded in this public company. _He's grasping for something to help him feel… normal._ It was a startling realization he would not really have made without this bond. "Sure, when we leave here. It's not fair that I can sense everything you think, feel and plan to do."

Fai stopped walking. Kurogane reached the cart knowing that his reminder was too blunt. He had said it though as a concession, or a confession, that this situation was not fair to Fai at all in any way. "MAGE! Are you coming? Or do I hafta beat you into this cart!"

Fai jumped then ran, sliding gracefully into the cart's seat with a playful smile. "Beat you!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes and groaned something about juvenile and about which of their group was actually the child. Fai then remembered something that was fun and annoyed Kurogane immensely. He almost murmured back about who was the mommy and who was the daddy. He chose not to though as it made their current situation and the close sexual call last night a bit too awkward.

Fai remained unusually quiet for most of the ride to the town. He watched out the window of the cart, taking in the scenery. Kurogane felt the mage's inner turmoil and finally asked, "What? What is bothering you, Fai?"

Fai wasn't sure he liked the intimacy of being called by his name. Yet he recognized how in a way that was more distancing. That was why he chose to call Kurogane by his full name after all. Most times one added some form of honorific and only dropped the honorific if you were intimate friends and only used nicknames if you were teasing or insulting, or possibly lovers. He wanted to be called mage or sorcerer or wizard. Those were things and Fai didn't really want to feel like a person. "Why did you save me and mark me?"

Kurogane let out his breath heavily. How to answer that. "You are my responsibility. Tch!" That wasn't right and only was partially true. He felt the internal wince from Fai. "Look. I won't ever leave you behind. Not ever. So snap out of it!" Fai's melancholy was unnecessary. Kurogane wanted to know why the mage suffered it so much but figured it had to do with everything that happened in his own world with Ashure, the trapped king. It bugged him further to feel that his answer only increased that melancholy. "Dammit Fai."

"What did I do?" Fai suddenly snapped back. "What did I do that you are always angry and what did I do to ever deserve you bothering to care at all about me?" His magic leaked in snippets and he jerked away afraid what his magic would do in this cart.

Kurogane grabbed Fai's hands hard and willed that magic back under tight control because obviously Fai could not, not in this world. The worried and guilty look on Fai's face spoke so much about deeper fears that Kurogane could feel through this new bond. "Calm down." This wasn't exactly private and the outburst wasn't entirely unexpected. Rassin warned Kurogane that the road to recover would be very bumpy like this. "I am not angry at you. You annoy the hell out of me, but I am not angry. When I am really angry, I'll tell you. And I care because I do. I just do. Deal with it." Since they were on this subject despite the fact that Kurogane would prefer this to be a more private time, he ventured, "Why haven't you cared for so long? Why do you pretend so much and fake your smiles? Why do you keep us all at a distance? Why don't you want us to care? Why don't you want to care? I know you do care…"

Fai stared down at Kurogane's hands over his, the hold relaxing as the magic came under control. "How do you do that, Kurogane? You know nothing about magic."

"Don't presume to know me, mage." He considered a moment then confessed quietly, "I learned some from my mother. She's dead now. Killed by that guy with the bat emblem."

That answer told Fai more than he expected. _So, he arranged to free me to finish a job he could not._ He wondered how much he dare tell this man before him. No, he dared not tell him that, that he was there to kill him. He couldn't bring himself to tell why he cared and why he could not afford to care or be cared about. He could not find the words to say he did not deserve to be cared about. He knew how Kurogane would react to that. "Are you going to force me to answer?" Kurogane could and by asking this, Fai reminded Kurogane of that possibility. Kurogane could force any answer out of him now, get what he had wanted, no? In a way, it was also an invitation. Fai wanted to be forced to answer, because he could not will himself to.

"Tch… You'll tell me when you are ready. I'll be here to hear it." Kurogane sat back and crossed his arms.

"Is this private enough that I can ask you another question?" Kurogane nodded as he shrugged at Fai's query. "How… no… where did you learn to take such good care of someone who… who could not take care of themselves?"

"My mother fell ill when I was very young. I had to take care of her since my father was off fighting demons. She got worse every year till that bastard killed her."

"Demons," muttered Fai. "Is that why you know so much about demons and why you kept asking if the demons ate people when we were in Oto country?" It suddenly made sense. The warrior nodded confirmation.

"Kurogane," Fai tried to look him in the eye, "I feel… I feel pulled apart…"

"Out of balance. I know. You won't once we get the Princess's feather back and get the hell out of here."

"Then what?"

"Then what what? We keep searching. We keep moving. We don't look back." To Kurogane, that was obvious.

Fai often found Kurogane's matter of fact straight forward perspective refreshing. It was so… uncomplicated, unlike Fai's whole life.

The passed through the gardens and orchards, passed caravans that had gathered in clusters more densely that Kurogane remembered. They rolled into town later in the afternoon and made it to the inn by dinner. The pretended normalcy sufficed for now, even if it grated on Kurogane's nerves. He liked people to be up front, say what they mean and mean what they say. Yet despite this awkwardness, there was a sense of acceptable balance in the swath of imbalance. He was master of Fai and Sakura was master of Syaoran. Everyone would learn something from this experience. Maybe, just maybe, it will help them all grow closer together.

Fai sat and talked with Sakura sharing quietly safe things of what happened to him. He was trapped in a crystal palace. Kurogane saved him in time, without saying in time for what. They had stayed at a place called the Sanctuary, where Kurogane marked him. She had been lost in an orchard and found Mokona in the town square then found Syaoran at this inn, where she marked him. He commented how pretty her earrings looked on her and she smiled and blushed. He commented equally about how pretty Kurogane's earrings looked on him and she laughed when Kurogane turned away blushing and left the table. She asked to see his tattoos and he allowed her to peak. Syaoran's were mostly easily visible and he seemed to wear them with pride even if he seemed a bit shy about them. It was fun to see Kurogane blush a second time around when Fai showed his off with a little pride too. He felt that if Kurogane was going to pull out of him some of what he felt was private, that it was only fair. And yet, secretly, he did feel more proud and secure that it was Kurogane who had marked him.

When Kurogane mentioned that they ought to all get to bed since tomorrow they were off to hunt for that feather nice and early, Fai took the cue and lightened the mood. "Alright kids, Daddy says it is time for bed. Off with you both!" Fai pleasantly shooed them up to their room only to be surprised that they were sharing a room. He looked back at Kurogane who was annoyed at being called the daddy. He thought he had finally escaped that nick-name. Alas. Fai asked with his eyes for clarification about the kids sharing a room like this and if….

"I don't know what they did in their rite," replied the warrior. "There are several levels to that rite. If they did what we did or more, well, I don't want to know. Come on." He hauled Fai into his room.

"Oh? I share with you?"

"Ya. I marked you. You stay with me so I can keep an eye on you."

Fai knew it was because he was imbalanced with his magic and this was a safety precaution. Also, this was partly the rules for those marked as deeply as he was by his master, Kurogane. As silly as Fai tried to be about this, Kurogane sensed his discomfort and worry about how to actually behave. Kurogane treated Fai like a comrade, gently shoving him over on the bed with a slight smile before comfortably throwing himself on the bed. He wasn't worried about Fai or Fai's magic. The disregard for potential danger eased Fai's worry. The smile, caught him entirely off guard. Fai changed and eased into the bed gracefully unable to hide a slight genuine smile of his own.

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A/N – Thanks for the reviews everyone! I will try to respond to each of them. Reviews encourage writers to keep writing.


	18. Mountain of Danger

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 18 – Mountain of Danger**_

Kurogane treated Fai like a comrade, gently shoving him over on the bed with a slight smile before comfortably throwing himself on the bed. He wasn't worried about Fai or Fai's magic. The disregard for potential danger eased Fai's worry. The smile, though, caught him entirely off guard. Fai changed and eased into the bed gracefully unable to hide a slight genuine smile of his own.

Now the real work began. They packed the next day for travel. It would be a long hard hike through the valley and into the mountains. There would be a great deal of slavers and bandits and untold dangers. With some hard convincing, Sakura stayed behind. Yukido would help teach her about meditation and some priestly skills that would help her best help Syaoran on this quest.

Sakura wondered if the Yukido of her home world would have taught her these things. She learned of the chakras in greater detail as well as the basics of balancing them within herself. She learned how to tap her own inner spirit. Without all her feathers, she would never truly be able to use her inner abilities to their fullest. Yet, learning to sense Syaoran and to work magic to shield him would come in handy, and not just in this world. She had her own magic, too. Yukido explained how she inspires others and how to touch the spirit of others. This she has done by instinct for some time. She also learned a little about healing.

It was so much to learn. And with the men on their journey, she had to use these abilities through her bond with Syaoran often, especially when they finally stopped fighting the bandits on the fourth day and looked up the mountain. Then they searched for a way up. It never failed to surprise Kurogane when they came across a horrific scene that Fai never seemed to be shocked, like he had seen such before. Bodied in various stages of decay littered the base of the mountain. The people who had tried… and failed… to get to this power source.

Kurogane recalled old conversations where fai had suggested such things as torture. He wondered if Fai had tortured anyone. He was sure Fai had at some point been tortured, but never so sure how. At least, not till they got here and light got shed on Ashura and the relationship those two once might have had before Fai mustered the courage to trap the king. _Is this what he did to deserve entrapment? Did he cross the line one too many times with Fai? Did he force Fai to commit such atrocities? _

Kurogane's found he had more questions daily. As he learned something new about this mysterious mage, the more mysterious Fai turned out to be and the more questions Kurogane had. Sometimes, he openly asked Fai, but he never forced the mage to answer. He hoped that one day, Fai would see how honourable and loyal they were to him and would trust them… or at least trust him.

He could feel the strange emotions in Fai, cold and indifferent. He was really unaffected by this scene of bodies. Syaoran however was not so unaffected, "I am glad the Sakura is not here. I don't want her to see this."

"She's going to one day see stuff like this you know." Kurogane was ever the realist. The clone was still out there after all. Who knows what kind of world they might land in. Kurogane expected that it would eventually happen. They would one day drop into a world so much in ruin from the clone that it might look like this. Dead and dying people, suffering untold horror all for a feather, a memory. Kurogane wondered how the princess would react. Though, he too hoped it would never happen. Her sweetness is exactly what helped him find himself and remember why he fought and for what reason, the lessons of his father, to fight the evils and protect the people.

Fai put a hand on Syaoran's shoulder. "Do you still want to do this? Tall and Brooding and I can go get it."

"No, we can do this together."

This Syaoran, while different and confident, still had many similarities to the clone. But then, the clone was one of him. Of course there will be some similarities, it had part of his own heart. They began the climb.

They paused partway up in a ledge to strategize. Their climbing gear was only barely adequate for the task. People had managed to make it there. But as they discussed their various findings of information, they either grew ill and died, or became mad. Kurogane declared that when they get to the feather, that he would hang back. "Sakura can shield you, Syaoran. And I can shield the mage. But there is no one to shield me. I can't afford to get sick and die." He flicked a look to Fai knowing that if he died, so did Fai. Fai as a vampire would have no one to feed from.

"I can shield you with my magic," offered Fai. "We can shield each other."

"No, someone needs to protect your backs."

Fai sighed, "ever the practical warrior…"

Kurogane would normally have taken that as an insult, but feeling the feelings of Fai, he now knew otherwise. It surprised him. Fai admired him for that grounded sense of practicality. He depended on it more than he would ever admit aloud to Kurogane. The warrior stood and walked about the ledge planning the next path up as a way to hide the heat in his tanned cheeks.

The climb from then on was more of a struggle with poor equipment. Fai used his magic, because it desperately struggled to be free. He made steps and anchoring points. He hadn't intended to use it but since he had a few times before to save them, a few more now wouldn't make much difference. Kurogane kept a close watch on him.

At the next ledge where they dragged themselves with exhaustion, Kurogane made the mage sit still while he sat behind him, hands on his shoulders moving Fai's magical energy into coherency and under control. Syaoran was already asleep before Kurogane was done. Fai wasn't sure if this felt violating or not. Kurogane was… inside him. He tensed a moment as strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer, the wrist of one bared before his face. Fai took it as he leaned back. This blood drinking was now familiar. After that night in the Sanctuary, it was easier. He sank fangs in, swallowed several times as blood filled his mouth, then locked the wound closed. Somehow the feeling of balance came with this, with the blood, with Kurogane's closeness. He drifted to sleep in Kurogane's arms.

"Tch… guess I am on first watch," came the quiet indignant muttering. He didn't really mind. It was rare to see these two asleep without troubles. Syaoran likely slept well because Sakura willed it so in some way. He wasn't sure how to do that for Fai. Then again, Sakura was learning magic and priestly stuffs. He only had a little magical understanding and a lot of instinct.

If only the night remained this peaceful…

The rumble started high above them. The ground shook. Bits of rock bounced into their hair moments before larger boulders crashed down around them. Some of the gear was torn from the ledge as they pressed their backs to the mountain wall. Three shields firmly in place to protect them all. Breath taken in gulps. Hearts pounding. A fissure opened nearby and spat hot steam that stank of sulphur and other fumes.

If only the night remained this peaceful…

Kurogane regretted even thinking that wish. Living became the only thought. Survival…. For all three of them. The rock fall and the gaseous fissures were but one of the dangers hell bent on killing them and sending them to join the carcasses below.

Kurogane and Syaoran got to see a glimpse of Fai working all too familiar magic, deadly magic. The lithe agile mage was a cold killer when he chose to be. Twisted creatures poured out of any cave or opening, some even human-like. Kurogane barely got a swing in with his sword. Syaoran, this one, used some magic of his own along with Fai. There was this small moment that felt completely refreshing to the warrior. Fighting, with two other warriors, in competent battle against a mountain of dangers.

In the end, they stood in a cave that lead deep into the mountain. He had to physically hold Fai to him to gather the wild magical energy before it attacked friends instead of foes. Fai's fingers gripped claw-like in his shirt. His face buried in Kurogane's shoulder. Kurogane's fingers tangled in the blond hair. They remained still till they breathed steadily in unison. The silence in the cave hurt their ears.

The feather and mountain's dangers were not over. Fai would be a prime target with his magic unable to be controlled. Illness or madness awaited him. This was another reason Kurogane wanted to hang back a little. It would take most of his concentration to keep Fai safe and focused.

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A/N – Thanks for the reviews everyone! I will try to respond to each of them. Reviews encourage writers to keep writing. It took me a while to get to this due to work, but fear not… I am not giving up on this. What lies ahead? How will they balance Chakra town when they get back? What will happen to their bonds when the leave this world?


	19. Madness and Fire

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 19 – Madness & Fire**_

The feather and mountain's dangers were not over. Fai would be a prime target with his magic unable to be controlled. Illness or madness awaited him. This was another reason Kurogane wanted to hang back a little. It would take most of his concentration to keep Fai safe and focused.

Powerful magic called to powerful magic. The feather seemed to manifest each man's deep memories of land and danger. Dry dusty heat baked them in waved like a desert. The heat rising in mirage-like shimmering illusions, the very air wavered like heat of hot pavement. Their feet sank in the hot sand. Ripples caught the corners of their eyes. A sand worm rose before them. Syaoran gasped and drew out his flaming sword. Shields blocked the worst of the attacks. The worm seemed to recoil at the sense of Sakura's own shielding over Syaoran. So it focused on Fai. His own magic cut in deadly icy slices while a blue dragon took the brunt of the attacks.

Fai's magic faltered when the shimmering heat revealed glassy surfaces. Mirrors, obsidian dark, manifested in ever flat surface. Syraoran ignored the confusing reflections and raced forward, onward. Fai stood frozen, turning this way and that, faced over and over with reflection upon reflection of a gaunt figure. Haunting images of himself, of his twin. Panic rose. Anguish consumed. His magic arced and slammed randomly. It threw Syaoran to his feet to disappear down some hole in the wall with a steep slope. A yell of surprise echoed hollowly. Fai dropped to his knees, hands on his head and screamed.

Kurogane huffed. So it would be madness then and not illness. He resisted the urge to run in after Fai when he heard the screams. His teeth ground together hard as he forced his focus on Fai and commanded calm. He reached through his bond to Fai, reached through him and tore the flailing magic from its lashings and beat it back into submission. There was nothing gentle in his actions, especially without the training Sakura was now receiving from Yukido. He doubled the strength of his shield over Fai and tried to remember how it felt to hold him tightly. He did not understand what was happening to Fai. He sensed no real danger, yet Fai's terror and despair were palpable. It left him with questions that would have to wait.

He gulped air like a drowned man. Sweat plastered his blond hair to his face. His chest ached. His throat stung. Every muscle twitched like he had fallen from a mile run and could not will himself back up. He kept his face buried in his hands. Kurogane felt so near he whispered for him, then he called out pleadingly.

Glass shattered with impact after impact. The shards crashing to the ground. A heavy silence followed.

Fai still had no strength or will to move. Kurogane could feel it. He hoped the kid was faring better. It was up to him now. He placed a warm hand on Fai's shoulder as the shards of broken obsidian paled and turned to snow. "Get up mage. We have to move back." His words made little puffs in the air as he spoke. He yanked Fai to his feet and hauled him back to the entrance.

Fai merely followed the commands, his eye still wide and unseeing save for whatever nightmare debilitated him. Kurogane held him close, moving the energy within and creating a grounded balance by sheer force of will and instinct. It did not help Fai's mind, though. He called him quietly over and over till Fai finally cringed and buried his face into Kurogane's shoulder with a little strangled noise. Snow billowed out at them, but neither seemed to care. Fai's sense of constant failure rocked his sense of reality. Kurogane reminded him that it is only this world. "Once the kid gets the feather, things will be different, better. You'll be back to your overly sure, totally annoying self."

Syaoran stomped through the thickening drifts of snow. His fiery sword illuminated his way and kept him warm. The very air seemed to be thick like mud and slow to move through, the closer he got to the center. He stepped from the tunnel at last to a pool of lava. He gagged hard at the noxious fumes bubbling up from the lava pool. Slowly, inch by inch and made his way around the safer solid edge. He could jump, but with how thick the air was, he wasn't sure if he could make it to the other side. He gagged and coughed and covered his nose and mouth with his shirt. He could feel his skin reddening from the heat. He then grew weak as if ill or about to faint.

Sakura's brow beaded with sweat as she described random things to Yukido so he could guide her how to use her magic. {brother's name} Spoke suggestively, "Draw in his energy and strength, it will weaken him, but you can then use it to protect him. Refocus it." It was simple. She wondered why she did not think of that herself. She still could not get over how sure and ready this Syaoran was to kill and fight for her. And yet, he was just like her Syaoran in his utter determination and selflessness.

Syaoran sank to his knees and inhaled as the air around him cooled and cleared within the confines. It felt so foreign to not be controlling his own magic and energy. At first he started to resist thinking it was another foul magic of the mountain. With each fresher breath came the realization that Sakura, his master, was trying to keep him alive. He sat and rested and surrendered to her will for the moment. As he breathed easily he planned. He could not just jump, unless the thickness of the air abated. He wished Fai were here or Kurogane. Fai could cast a more advanced spell to help him. Kurogane could simply throw him with brute force. Both would be perfectly good, neither were an option at the moment. He no longer hear Fai screaming in madness. He hoped they were both alright. There was no time or energy to worry for them now. He was here. The feather hovered but a few arms' lengths before him over lava.

He gathered his strength, both physical and magical. Placing himself on the opposite side of the lava pool from the tunnel entrance, he pressed against the wall. With all his strength, he launched himself. His hand snatched the feather from the air as he plunged head first into the tunnel. A roll. A tumble. Back on his feet, he ran. Knowing something of madness lay down the main tunnel, he dodged and darted for the little side tunnel he had fallen through.

The feather had merged with a volcanic mountain containing the lava. Without the magical cap, the strange spells crumbles along with stone and lava rumbled and shook and boiled through the tunnels finally free to act in balance with its nature once more.

Syaroan could not climb the steep slide he had fallen down. He was stuck. Lava racing behind him and smooth glassy tunnel incline ahead. He took a leap of faith and hugged the feather to him trusting that Sakura would shield him from certain death. He inhaled as if about to be dropped in water as lava swallowed him and ruptured a new path.

Fai looked up and back and whispered the word danger only moments before Kurogane sensed it as well. They stood. The roaring red lava charged through the tunnel at them. They ran for the entrance. No choice. No time. No thought. Kurogane grabbed Fai and leapt. Right off the mountain cliff. Now it was wind that rushed around them. He supposed it was better than lava. The ground seemed to be approaching terribly fast, "Mage… MAGE… FAI! DO SOMETHING!" Pale blue symbols swirled around them with foreign lyrical words and formed into great wings behind Fai. It was the most control he had been able to muster with his magic since he entered the world. It didn't stop their fall, but it definitely eased the plummet and the landing was far less of an impact. They lay in a heap of tangled limbs among the corpses.

Lava flowed in slowing meandering streams down the mountain. Except for one ball of rolling fire that bounced and burned a trail, incinerating everything in its path till it hit the bottom. Charred decaying bodies surrounded Syaoran as the protective fiery shield winked out. He staggered dizzily a few steps and fainted from the heat.

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A/N – Thank you all for reading and especially to those who reviewed. This chapter comes to you courtesy of my long bus ride to and from work, where I decided that working on work-work while on the bus was just no fun today.

I was so sure there was some art that matched the falling/flying of Fai & Kurogane. SAD! I could not find any! If you are an artist reading this, I would love a pic of that!


	20. Balancing Chakra Town

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 20 – Balancing Chakra Town**_

Lava flowed in slowing meandering streams down the mountain. Except for one ball of rolling fire that bounced and burned a trail, incinerating everything in its path till it hit the bottom. Charred decaying bodies surrounded Syaoran as the protective fiery shield winked out. He staggered dizzily a few steps and fainted from the heat.

Was it minutes or hours? Kurogane lay in darkness, aching. His last sight was Fai, clinging to him as they fell, sky, swirling blue magical lines of wings. Then the wind rushed out of him and pain replaced the brief wonderment of flying. He dared not move while his thoughts moved through assessing his state of survival. Waves of pan hit him repeatedly from Fai before he realized Fai was yelling and shaking him.

"Mage…. Get… off!" growled the hurting warrior. Fai silenced, moved aside and pulled him up. Kurogane howled with the pain and instantly punch Fai. Fai barely dodged, but insisted they get moving. When Kurogane opened his eyes and turned to yell again at Fai he saw the slow moving lava inching closer and closer. He pulled on Fai's energy, for he should be able to and used it to bolster his own to stand. They limped as far as they could till the got to the stream. Fai helped him sit on higher rocks away from both lava and rotting bodies. "Find the kid."

A swift nod and Fai was off. He was sure he had broken both his arms in the landing, yet he seemed whole. His forearms ached as if beaten hard. His fingers tingled a little. Then he felt it, Kurogane's magic moving through him. It faded with each step he took away from the warrior. _He's healing me?_ It was the most confusing realization. Kurogane, so magic was weird enough, weirder that he knew enough to be able to control Fai's magic. But heal too!

Fai found Syaoran in the center of a charred circle of bodies. The boy was unconscious. Fai had difficulty picking him up, so he lifted by the shoulders and let Syaoran's feet drag will he could get to a better place where he picked him up and carried him back to Kurogane. Syaoran's face and arms were burned, yet the skin was slowly healing from the tattoo pattern outward. To Fai's magical sight, it looked a little like Sakura's magic. Fai sat with the other two as Syaoran roused, then gasped. There was the slightest frantic moment till he patted the feather secure on an inside pocked close to his chest.

The lava cooled before reaching them. They waited an extra hour just in case.

The journey back to Chakra Town took longer. They moved slower. Fai grew tired frequently, feeling drained most of the time till he realized Kurogane was massively drawing energy from him on a constant basis. That is when they took an extra day to just camp. They needed real rest and healing, but this was the best they would get.

While Syaoran slept, Fai drank from Kurogane's wrist. "I…" Fai tried to put to words the strange feelings inside. _Confusion. Desire. Relief. Balance. Anxiety. Fear. _He had started to get used to Kurogane in him in a way, the blood and the energy. There was this solid anchor he could internally hang onto.

"You'll be fine now, Mage. And you are welcome. We are keeping each other alive." The strangeness continued as it was Kurogane who had the words and not Fai this time. "Get some sleep."

Chaos seemed to be erupting across the river at the chakra estates as the three hiked through the orchards and gardens. "Shouldn't we do something?" ask Syaoran.

"We will visit the Sanctuary to let them know we succeeded. But otherwise no. They got people who know how to balance thing." Kurogane turned toward the bridge that would take them across the river to the Sanctuary of the Root.

Fai explained a little more gently, "We are not of this world, Syaoran. These people know what they need to rebalance things. Our interference might disrupt that balance as much as the feather did."

Syaoran understood that. He recalled from what he had seen through his clone's eyes that very fact where they created change. While the changes had worked out, they were very lucky. It could have turned out terribly. He nodded thoughtfully as he followed them.

In the Sanctuary of the root, they were greeted and brought to rooms to rest, bathe and eat. Rassin met with them to express his gratitude in person, along with an older woman he introduced as his mother, Mother of the House of the Heart. They had with them a little girl that caused Kurogane to stare and stare. After when he was asked by Syaoran and Fai, he explained that the child looked just like Tomoyo at that age. In this world it was Toymoyo and she would be trained to be the head of the Great Library, that house for the third eye, as she was talented as a seer. The small boy Kurogane had met in the middle of the night a while back was to become the new head of the Dojo for the Solar Plexus. More would be brought or found as needed to fill the vacant spots.

Syaoran slept alone in a small room with a window. He slept hugging the small feather with all his love and hoped Sakura could feel and understand that he would give his life for her, even if she would never in the end love him in turn. He made a promise and intended to keep it. He thought about this town and how they had these chakra houses to help people from both this world and others to be healed and balanced. In retrieving the feather, he played a small part in helping balance this world and another in helping balance Sakura. He curled up and slept to the soft sound of earthy drums.

Fai and Kurogane shared a room. There grew awkwardness. Now that the feather was not disrupting magic of those strong with the ability, Fai didn't need this bond he had to Kurogane. Yet, he felt trepidation when he thought about losing it. He sat on the edge of the bed, in his sleeping pants, staring at his hands in his lap. Kurogane ignored him for a while as he finished his bath and also changed for sleep. He knelt on the floor on a carpet and began the slow careful process of cleaning his armour and weapons, including the sword hidden by Fai's magic. He moved about in his usual routine. That routine reassured Fai who finally raised his eyes to watch.

Once done, Kurogane shifted his position a little and closed his eyes. Then opened them, "Mage, come here."

Fai did not resist the firm command, though the intent allowed him to refuse if he chose to. Fai stood before Kurogane and looked down. The warrior tugged Fai to sit and pulled him close so Fai sat between Kurogane's knees with his back pressed to the warrior's chest. He wasn't sure what was happening or why. He tried to relax but fidgeted often wanting to ask questions.

"Be still, Fai. Just breathe slow and feel the earth below us, feel the drums of the earth." Fai then realized Kurogane was going to share something private through his actions. He was going to share his meditation technique with him. Fai had often watched Kurogane do this late in the nights and thought he was just being on watch even when it was not necessary. He relaxed as he felt Kurogane becoming a deep rooted anchor, and thus followed suit marveling at the sense of stability. Kurogane smiled to himself as he felt balance find itself in Fai without his aid, as well as the child-like curiosity and the greater sense of peace that Fai never seemed to have. It was a small gift he could give Fai and Fai drank it in as thirstily as he did the blood that then was offered with a wrist.

This was an almost perfect moment. Kurogane wanted to ask Fai about the distrust, about his reticence to be honest with the group and so much more. However, this was a tranquil moment he did not want to disturb. As a man of actions and not words, he absorbed the feeling of Fai in his arms. He sensed through their bond, something… something he wanted to taste more. It was an emotion mixed up and confused and afraid and wanting. Kurogane moistened his lips and almost planted them gently on the back of Fai's neck before he hauled his own thoughts back to reality. Their trust was so new and born out of trauma. He doubted it was real trust.

He recalled when Fai had asked him if he hated the mage. Of course he didn't, but he could not explain what he felt or what his reasons were for saving him. He couldn't entirely accept them for himself yet. And now he wondered, "Mage… Fai… when we leave this world and our bond is broken, will you go back to hating me for what I did to you?"

He felt the internal tensing as well as the external tensing. Fai cringed on all levels. He was just starting to get used to this bond and the comfort it offered. When they leave this world, that will be gone. The answer was simple. He had already let go of that hate some time ago, more so through this world's experience. Kurogane could have done hard sexual violating things to him and didn't. He could have forced him to speak his darkest secrets and didn't. There was a lacing of disappointment and sadness. In some way, Fai wanted that to happen, still did, always did. It only told Fai more firmly that Kurogane was not interested in men the way Fai was. "No, Kurogane. I will not hate you."

Kurogane winced at the full use of his name. It was like a chasm split between them every time Fai said the whole name. There would be no hate… no… but distance. So close and yet so far away. He sighed.

Fai turned his head a little to try to see the warriors face. He had learned the meaning of this non-verbal language of sounds that Kurogane used more often than words. "What? Do you want me to hate you? Should I?"

"No."

"Then why are you so disappointed?" asked Fai on the verge of snapping emotionally, once again not knowing what he did to upset Kurogane this time or this way.

"I think… I…" trying to put this into words and honestly twisted in Kurogane's gut. "I will miss this when we leave."

"I will still need you when we leave. You are my prey, my life." Fai thumbed over where he has bitten Kurogane's wrist as he spoke. "I want to live." It was partly true. On some level he really did want to live, on another level, he would willingly die given that chance. "We can still sit like this when we leave. We can… spar… as you call it." He smiled a little at the new word for him. "And… you will chase away the nightmares still, right?" Hope flowed back along that bod and filled his last word.

"Always." Honest, plain, grounded. "Always," Kurogane whispered again.

Fai snuggled in more deeply.

The next morning Fai woke in the bed and Kurogane was already moving through morning katas. Their bags packed and ready to go. Breakfast half eaten with enough left behind for Fai. He had slept so well last night. They would be leaving today.

Sakura arrived in a cart with Mokana. The awkwardness Fai and Kurogane had been feeling showed clear on the youngsters' faces. She had a hard time looking Syaoran in the eyes for his similarities to her Syaoran and for the depth of the feelings he had for her. She wanted their bond broken soon. No longer able to take the subtle rejection and the painful ache it caused him, Syaoran offered her the feather, knowing she would drop and sleep for a while once she took it with herself. He caught her, and lifted her into his arms. "We're ready Mokana." He turned his back to everyone while they grouped together for the jump to the next world. His tears trailed silently down his cheeks.

Kurogane no longer thought of it as weakness. He had done the same once since he turned Fai into a vampire. He understood. As he promised himself, he pulled Fai into his arms. The surprised look in the mage's suddenly wide blue eye brought smirk to his lips. However, he was not risking separation again. Fai slip his arms around the warrior's waist and buried his face in the darker man's shoulder. Kurogane then reached out and firmly gripped Syaoran's shoulder. "No more getting separated." Syaoran hugged Sakura tightly and stepped in closer to Kurogane with a firm nod as Mokana whisked them off to the next world.

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A/N – Some art… thank you artists on DA for wonderful inspiration.

http:/ inmemoryof0928 .deviantart .com/art/Undeserved-163001247


	21. Respite

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 21 – Respite**_

Kurogane spoke firmly, "No more getting separated." Syaoran hugged Sakura tightly and stepped in closer to Kurogane with a nod as Mokana whisked them off to the next world.

The next world was sparse. Quiet. So quiet they were worried that there was no life at all. Fields upon fields of rolling green and gold spread before them. A small stone circle broke the horizon and became their destination, for lack of any better one. They would have just jumped to the next world had Mokona not said he sensed a feather weakly, somewhere in this world.

The stones reached like ruined pillars to a non-existent roof. The floor within the circle formed smooth marble concentric circles. They could rest and plan there so long as it didn't rain. Kurogane declared he would scout about, see if he could find some shelter or people.

Mokona bounced onto his shoulder, "I will help!" A canine growl came from Kurogane, but he shoved the pork bun into a pocket. The white ears popped out and one wiggled like a wave to the rest of the group. When they had walked a good distance, Mokona peeked out farther. "Mokona can sense that you are worried. You left on purpose."

"So." He was not immediately forthcoming till the little creatures asked why with such concern. "I needed space. I need to give the wizard space. I can still kinda feel him. Less, but still."

"The magic from the other world will fade, probably by tomorrow. Kurgy doesn't have to worry. Fai-san wants to be close. Like Mokona!"

"Shut it," he grumbled with little conviction. He ignored the all too knowing grin from Mokona and yet absently patted it when it snuggled him.

As they walked further, they discovered some hills and a trail. Following the trail led to some old mostly ruined abandoned huts. The fields clearly looked more like expansive farms. Why they would be so abandoned made little sense. Inspection revealed that they had been abandoned for a long while.

The hair raised on the back of Kurogane's neck. His own warrior senses stretched. He closed his eyes and took in the strange sensations, then drew his sword shushing Mokona. "Demons," he whispered. Just like the ones in his own country. The taint of them lingered. One stretched from a shadow. It was alone. It did not last long against Kurogane. The tingling in his awareness died with that demon. "So… demons ate these people after all," spoken like it was now fact. He wondered what his own lands looked like, if they looked as peaceful as this by now with demons lurking in shadows. Ghost towns. Ghost home estate. Ghost farms. Nothing but shadows and ghosts. He shook his head and checked for more demons as thoroughly as a wolf sniffing out prey.

Only when he was absolutely sure that it would be safe did he head back to bring the others.

The days here passed slow and lazily as Sakura rested and Mokona shared out the supplies. This would be home base for now till they could get closer to either civilization or the feather. Scouting out found no cities, no people, and no further demons. Maybe past the mountain range that was farther still on the horizon.

The night was broken only by Fai's nightmares. The magic that bound everyone faded to distant memories of such bonds. Fai's nightmares worsened as the bond faded. There was a quiet acceptance between Syaoran and Sakura, but she had started taking more and more control of the situation. Learning in a way to be the leader they needed, making decisions on where to go next and how far. She listened to their suggestions and advice openly. After a few especially terrible nights for Fai, she chose to make a new home base in the next little farm houses near the mountain range. Fai was too tired from so much poor sleep that he was having a hard time giving her his usual cheery smiles.

Here they rested. Syaoran scouted daily for signs and clues of the feather, often with Mokona. Sakura sometimes went with him leaving Fai and Kurogane alone together, sensing perhaps their need to find a balance they had seemed to have in Chakra Town.

Kurogane hauled the long and lanky mage outside regularly. "Just follow and do." Kurogane moved through the martial katas and stretches. Long legs stepped in slow controlled patterns. Fai followed despite his tired state. The movements felt meditative and flowy. It reminded him of slow moving waters and floating snowflakes. It eased the tension from the stressed night of poor sleep and gave him more energy. From there, Kurogane would turn and the two faced off to spar. At least that is what Kurogane called it. Fai would find his grin and call it battle dancing much to Kurogane's annoyance.

In the evenings, after the kids went to bed, the two would sit as they had in Chakra Town with Fai between Kurogane's knees, the warrior's arms around him. The silence stretched between them. Fai leaned his back against Kurogane's chest. Each held their thoughts to themselves and wondered what the other thought and how the other felt, but dared not inquire.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" Kurogane reminded the mage.

Fai shrugged one shoulder, clearly not ready to do so. "Can I still ask you things about you?"

"Uh, ya… sure…" He expected questions to follow, but none did.

After many more quiet minutes, Fai finally asked, "Do you know what I dream?"

"Sometimes. If it is what experienced in the Chakra world. Otherwise… nope, except its bad and you can't really sleep."

Fai nodded, the back of his head rubbing on Kurogane's shoulder. He felt Kurogane tighten his hold around him.

"I don't mind folding you through the night if it will help with the nightmares."

Fai swallowed the almost strangled whimper that threatened to escape and merely whispered, "please."

* * *

A/N – because I have not added a pic in some time, here is one I found that inspired the end of this chapter.

http:/ konnichipuu .deviantart .com /art/A-Cure-for-Nightmares-207491893


	22. Frozen Horror

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 22 – Frozen Horror**_

"I don't mind holding you through the night if it will help with the nightmares."

Fai swallowed the almost strangled whimper that threatened to escape and merely whispered, "please."

The routine continue for a few days till Syaoran found a path through the mountain range. Packing up, they marched onward along the base of the mountains, following the youth to the pass. They camped with caution there as several skeletons marked the entry point.

"They have been long dead," commented Fai.

"So? Demons ate them. I am not going to slack on my watch and neither are you." Trust Kurogane to be so blunt. Even if there were no demons here now, there had been at some point and might be again.

Once the kids were well asleep with Mokona snuggled under a blanket with Sakura, Fai approached Kurogane. "Why do you know so much about demons? And why are you so…" Fai wanted to say afraid, but that word and Kurogane didn't ever seem to match.

"Demons laid waste to my lands. The night my mother was killed, the demons killed my father and all the people in my territory."

Fai placed a hand gently over the warrior's arm, "I'm sorry. I didn't know. How did you survive?"

"I was maybe ten years old. I have no idea how I survived. Everything… everything was destroyed and I was… out of my mind. Princess Tomoyo saved me… from myself." The answer could not have shocked Fai more. He was both surprised Kurogane had been so honest and open, as well as surprised by the sheer dark tragedy of the events that made Kurogane who he was. And this was the man he promised to kill for the life of his brother. Every day that promise grew more and more problematic. Every day he wanted to tell Kurogane, or take his own life. And every day, Kurogane was there like a beacon of strength and light calling him to live fiercely.

They alternated watch in silence.

Fai watched Kurogane through half-lidded eyes. Part of him could hardly believe that Kurogane had willingly explained something about his childhood. After all, when Syaoran had discovered it, Kurogane was furious about the invasion of his privacy. And yet, Fai and asked and Kurogane had answered plainly, just as he promised. You could count on Kurogane to keep his word, to not lie, and tell you plainly anything he was going to say. Beyond that, he was a stoic and silent growling big dog… watchdog.

Fai's resolve to hate the man crumbled a little every day. Every night that Kurogane held Fai through the night terrors in silence. Every day that they sparred/danced in the early mornings. Every few days when Kurogane made sure Fai drank blood and survived. This man was hardly stoic, but passionate, living fiercely no matter what. Fai wondered why, wondered where that drive came from. Then he would look at Sakura and know. Someone trusted, someone believed, someone cared… and you wanted to do everything you could to be worthy of that.

Then those red eyes would turn to him and seem to stare through to the core of him as if he could hide nothing from the tall dark man.

The packed and moved on.

Kurogane gritted his teeth at the false smiles and fake laughs that Fai offered the group. Yet, that fake light-heartedness was part of the blond mage. To not see or hear them made Fai seem so hollow and bleak, like half a man.

From a chilly plateau, they could see a village in the distance. Kurogane squinted to try to see farther. The hairs tingled on the back of his neck warningly, but he could not see why. Mokona blinked widely, "Feather! I sense it, it is not far. Just past the village in those hills!" Kurogane grumbled that they would need to stop in the village; they were almost out of basic supplies.

Not a sound came from the village as they approached. Not the usual hustle and bustle of markets, or events. Not the rattles of carts or the noise of cars. It would not be the first empty town made ghostly by demons. The ground crunched with thin snow beneath their boots. The air grew cool, but not unbearable. The snow should not be so crisp for the temperature of warm spring, or was it autumn?

A large ice sculpture rose before them by some rocks. Fai grabbed Sakura and pulled her back, shielding her with his body. Kurogane stood in a ready stance with his blade drawn. Truth was that the ice statue had not moved at all. They had rounded a boulder to be surprised by it. The prickly feeling on Kurogane's neck intensified as he inched closer to see that the sculpture was more of a crystal clear ice encasing… of a demon. He tapped it with his sword. "It's safe. It isn't going anywhere."

Each one of them took a moment to look at the strange creature trapped in ice. None were sure what was more disturbing, that it was a true demon or that it was perfectly frozen in ice that did not emanate cold and did not seem to melt. As they passed more demons like the first, and then people trapped as the demons were trapped, Sakura whispered how the ice prisons were definitely creepier.

"This is powerful magic," murmured Fai. The spells and energy patterns already skipped through his mind on how to do such a thing, too familiarly. He had done it already, but it took most of his power to do so to just one being. "Very powerful…"

"The kind of power that would need the feather to be accomplished?" asked Kurogane, eyes scanning for danger with every step.

"Yes." Fai scrambled to bury his secrets deep inside himself. "It would have to be the power of the feather to do this to more than one person, let alone the whole village, people and demons alike."

Those red eyes turned and bore into his briefly. Fai pulled away from them. Instead, he tried to focus on anything but the ninja. There had to be a trigger, or some trace of the magic. He searched the upper walls for magical reflections, tried to see if there were mirrors or other means to direct the spells. A glint on the ground caught his eye. He looked down. The snow… some of the snow was larger like giant sparkles or tiny gems… or tiny mirrors. Kurogane picked one up.

"NO! Kurogane!" Fai heard his own scream as if he was a third party numbly and uselessly observing.

Too late. Sakura screamed. The ice trap moved so fast. The great warrior stood frozen in a block of magical ice. Fai thought his heart would stop. They all stared in frozen horror.

* * *

A/N – What to do… what to do…


	23. Not a Demon

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 23 – Not a Demon**_

"NO! Kurogane!" Fai heard his own scream as if he was a third party numbly and uselessly observing.

Too late. Sakura screamed. The ice trap moved so fast. The great warrior stood frozen in a block of magical ice. Fai thought his heart would stop. They all stared in frozen horror. Sakura brought her fists to her mouth, eyes wide.

Syaoran put a hand on her shoulder and spoke aloud for all, "Come on. We have to find the feather to free him." His voice, his determined tone, and the way he wanted to help…. Sakura frowned. So much like her other Syaoran it made her ache. She looked back to him and away. Part of her regretted the ritual they had done in the last world. She knew things of him now and those things touched her heart and frightened her, confused her. But he was right. They needed the feather; needed before her other Syaoran who seemed to have lost his heart and soul came to destroy all for it. They needed the feather to free Kurogane or both he and Fai would die here. "Come on." Syoaran pleaded insistently.

"Go without me. I am not leaving him. If I can free him I will. Get the feather. I will see you back here after… and… please be careful." Fai did not look at them as he places a hand on that icy surface.

The teens turned toward the mountain that Mokona indicated. The three walked on leaving friends behind and hoping to return to them soon.

Fai stood so long there that Syaoran and Sakura were well out of sight before he dared even twitch. He grabbed up his staff and struck the ice once. Twice. With a scream several more times. The ice didn't even chip. He would die without Kurogane's blood, die… for nothing. He would not get to fulfill any of his promises or even come close to any of his own wishes. Did they even matter now? He wondered if Kurogane still felt anything from him. He dropped the staff and pounded futilely with his fists. "Kurgy! KUROGANE! Can you hear me? I forgive you! I FORGIVE YOU! Please… don't leave me…"

The sky darkened around him.

He weighed the risks. His other eye was using magic all over dimensions. It would be inevitable at some point that the seals on Ashura would be broken. So, using some now… would mean little like a short shower of rain to the ocean.

Fai stilled his panic and his thoughts to recall all he had learned of magic from his own world and those they traveled to. Demons… and traps… can all be more easily destroyed than the magic that made up the traps. If… and only if he could reach past the trap to the core inside. First he needed to ensure no one else became trapped, including himself. "Do you remember when I first use magic with all of you?" he asked the frozen warrior. He inhaled deeply and whistled a precise tune. The wind stirred, then swirled. Curls of glowing symbols and musical notes swirled with it as the wind blew through the streets of the town and surrounding area. It gathered all the mirrored shards and flakes, all which carried the snares that would trap others. And wrapped them tight into a ball where all the reflective surfaces turned inward. They then trapped each other and the force of their reflective trappings destroyed them. Fai sighed in relief that he would not need to maintain that magic.

He pressed his hand to the ice prison. "Kurogane… my Kurgy-poo." Fai closed his eyes and focuses on the last remnants of the blood he had tasted from the warrior, days ago. He opened a golden eye as snippets of knowledge flickered in his mind. Blood. He had a connection to Kurogane through the blood and could reach him this way and draw strength where he had little left to give. He felt… Kuragone still lived. "My friend… my… … dearest to me… I will be useless after this, but everyone will be safe. Even you."

Fai strode purposefully to the nearest trapped demon. He extended his vampiric claws and filled them with his strength and some of his magic. Then he struck, dagger-like and true. Claws pierced ice and demon. Magic incinerated the creature from within. Tiny tendrils of dark smoke seeped from the punctures. He had not the strength to break the ice and free anyone, but he could kill. It was not much different than on his home world, freezing and then killing for his king. Only now his loyalties were changing. No… had changed. Truths were known to him and he dared not share them, dared not acknowledge them.

After the last demon was killed, Fai staggered to the feet of his frozen warrior and collapsed. It used less magic than he expected, but so much more of his physical strength due to not having fed from Kurogane in some time. The vampire in him consumed his thoughts with desperation as pain twisted in his gut. He had used all he had and now was desperate. He curled in on himself unable to remain silent in the agony of need. Fangs cut into his lip but the blood drawn there could not sate. No one's blood would. None but Kurogane's. Maybe he was too late. Little made sense as the world blurred, as day and night blurred. He felt so desperate that he no longer knew who or what stood before him.

The crowd began to gather. Shouts rang out. "DEMON!" Fai's head snapped up and he hissed. The scent of blood, blessed familiar blood passed his lips and he grabbed the cut arm and bit down like a rabid beast.

"NO! Leave him be! He is not a demon!" shouted a familiar deep voice.

* * *

A/N – Not forgotten… just busy. Enjoy!


	24. Blood: LOST

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 24 – Blood**_

_***To app my readers who have been following ***_

_If you have read this series and one of you actually saved this chapter… please please email it to me as it got lost here by my error and was lost on my home system due to s system failure._

_***thank you: scarletcougar ***_

* * *

He sensed the slight stirring in the blood before the actual movement. Strong arms wrapped around him and held him. Blood. Over the weeks they had traveled together, months even, where Fai was a vampire, he had noticed he could sense things. They both could sense things of each other. It was not usually very much. Mostly, they each had a sense that the other was alive. They thought it was just Chakra Town's magic which had been left behind.


	25. Blood: part 2

_**To Love & Be Loved**_

_A/N – Tomoyo: "Fai, teach him to love, and you will be loved deeply." Tale of Kurogane and Fai starts at the point when Fai loses his eye. It skips through swiftly to the end of the series to look at what might occur… after._

_**Chapter 24 – Blood**_

He sensed the slight stirring in the blood before the actual movement. Strong arms wrapped around him and held him. Blood. Over the weeks they had traveled together, months even, where Fai was a vampire, he had noticed he could sense things. They both could sense things of each other. It was not usually very much. Mostly, they each had a sense that the other was alive. They thought it was just Chakra Town's magic which had been left behind.

Kurogane had a good inner sense about Fai. He could close his eyes and like sensing the demons and people, he could pick out Fai with little effort. He also seemed to just know when Fai needed to feed on blood, even if Fai did not. Maybe that was just his military attention to details and schedules.

Fai was discovering a whole new world about Kurogane. He could sense life in Kurogane even when the warrior was trapped in the ice. He sometimes thought he could sense where Kurogane was, but it was hard to judge the truth of that when the man was almost always within sight. He thought he could sense snippets of emotion while he was swallowing mouthfuls of blood. It left Fai confused, but more than that… conflicted. No, he definitely no longer hated Kurogane, no matter how hard he might want to. No, he definitely no longer wanted to push him away, but hold him close and be held. Kurogane chased away the night terrors. He knew, one day he would have to choose, decide to betray the promise he made for his own and his twin brother's life or betray Kurogane to the people who killed Kurogane's mother.

It all came down to the blood. Whose blood would be on whose hands and for what reasons? He sat up with the scream of the terrors caught and choked on in his throat. Disoriented. He felt so disoriented. His stomach hurt and his hands shook. How many days? Was it just yesterday? Maybe it was more than that? Kurogane was moving through his usual morning routine like Fai hardly existed. Fai hungered for the stability he used to have in Chakra Town, bound to Kurogane. Blood red ruby eyes fixed him to the bed.

"About time you got up, mage. You need to feed." Kurogane crossed the room and held out his left wrist. There were so many small scars from so many bites.

Fai stared as his mind conjured up blood dripping and soaking over a hand and pooling onto the floor, staining clothing of white and blue. The color drained from him and the room swung to the right and up. Then he was in Kurogane's arms.

"Dumb mage… I told you that you needed to feed."

Fai tried to fight it, tried to communicate his distress. He hated blood… so much blood. But then it filled his mouth. His stomach knotted for a second, but only for a second. His eye shifted to amber gold and instinct kicked in once more against his will. He fed and with each swallow came that stability.

Part of Fai wondered briefly what it might be like to be loved by this tall warrior, to be part of his intense emotions and protected by his fierce loyalties. But Kurogane has never showed an interest in men as lovers. Otherwise, would he not have taken what Fai offered in Chakra Town? No… there could not be love. If Kurogane knew, there would definitely not be love. When he felt strong enough, he drew away, remembering to lick the wound this time so it healed over.

Kurogane pulled the mage almost into his lap, to sit between his knees, back pressed against the warrior's chest. Fai struggled a moment before recognizing the position, then relaxed. Slowly, little by little, Fai relaxed. His pulse eased from its racing speed. His breathing became more even and eventually in time with Kurogane's.

"Better," rumbled the warrior. "The kids are back and now that you are up and seem ok, we can get out of here."

"Kurgy? I don't like the blood." Fai could not believe how small his voice sounded.

Kurgane sighed, "I know. Now get up before I find some new moves you cannot evade gracefully."

Fai grinned. He was sure Kurogane remembered that battle they had where Fai dodged and taunted. He turned in surprised realization that Mr. Tall Dark and Stoic just might have made a joke.

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A/N – Pardon how slowly some of these chapters come. My adult life is very full of running a business with employees and networking and advertising, as well as teaching three nights a week. Sometime I only get about 4-6 hours to myself and that's counting time I should be sleeping. I will not give up on this story, but sometimes I might be very slow putting out a chapter. Glad you all are reading and reviewing. Reviews inspire me and remind me that it is worth continuing.


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